Random Thoughts Thread

[Stradling]

One question about the VA hospital. Why would the VA hospital of all places have such a small number of handicap parking spots?

[1nutkruk]

its surprising they dont have tuna packets with a mayonnaise + seasoning section on top

 

I wish my shower worked more like the gas station auto car wash

Note to self, feed mayonnaise to live tuna fish.

[Adam]

I had dinner with some college buddies on Sat. night. Remembering our teammates was fun, but there are a couple that are nowhere to be found online. Is there a simple ALL prison search anywhere? Can't find it. 

[Tank]

Note to self, feed mayonnaise to live tuna fish.

 

this is chuck reminding bill to SHUT UP!!

 

what a great movie.

[Brandon]

I had dinner with some college buddies on Sat. night. Remembering our teammates was fun, but there are a couple that are nowhere to be found online. Is there a simple ALL prison search anywhere? Can't find it.

I think they are all county based. You know what may work is that mugshot website. They seem to pull everything.

[Ray McKigney]

Note to self, feed mayonnaise to live tuna fish.

 

"...Call StarKist."

[Angel Dog and Beer]

I often wonder how such a small spider can shoot a web out of its ass over 3' away.

[1nutkruk]

I often wonder how such a small spider can shoot a web out of its ass over 3' away.

It must be the Peter North species.  

[Pbonetheman]

I had some explosive butthole once at Barnes and noble. The men's was occupied so I used the women's. I had some ladies waiting by the door asking me if everything was alright. I was so embarrassed I answered to them in a girls voice. One of the ladies commented "I think she's on drugs." I had to wait the old bags out.

[Taylor]

I had some explosive butthole once at Barnes and noble. The men's was occupied so I used the women's. I had some ladies waiting by the door asking me if everything was alright. I was so embarrassed I answered to them in a girls voice. One of the ladies commented "I think she's on drugs." I had to wait the old bags out.

 

LOL. Speaking of bookstore poop stories, one time my brother (in his mid-20s at the time) came down with a sudden need to defecate while our family was driving in LA somewhere. The closest place was a Borders, so he jumped out of the car and sprinted to the bathroom. When he got there, both of the stalls were being used and there was a line. Now, the bowel movement was seconds from launch no matter how much my brother clenched. Instinctively he ran to the urinal, dropped his pants, dropped his business, returned his pants, then bolted from the Borders bathroom like it was rigged to explode (even though the explosion had already taken place). He remembers catching the disbelieving eyes of a guy who had been waiting for the stall as my brother's hastily-made contingency plan was put into effect.

 

I can't fault him. I probably would have done the same thing. 

[Ochocinco!]

Few months ago me and some buddies went out for my friends birthday dinner at BJ's. Normal meal had a mini pizza and some pasta, to be fair I did eat pretty quick but nothing out of the norm. On the spot as we get ready to leave my stomach starts to growl and cramp. Knew I had to shit but figured I could just wait this puppy out till we get home. Abosutely not the case, the second we get on the freeway my stomach starts going fking bizerk! I was clinching so damn hard in a van full of 4 dudes and 3 chicks,trying not to defecate all over myself. It got to the point to where I didn't give a hoot anymore and yelled out I need to shit drive faster you bastards! My buddy races to the In N Out in Simi Valley, he drifts into the parking lot with the van door open I jump out stumble onto the ground and sprinted straight towards the bathroom. Of course around 12am the place is packed but I refused to make eye contact with anyone!!! I sat my ass on that toilet and took the meanest crap in my life with the loudest farts my asshole has ever produced... Great night..

Don't worrow it continued the rest of the night when I got home.

[Hollyw00d]

Anyone ever dumped their pants?

I haven't, honestly

[mp170.6]

Ever have a stomachache come on so suddenly and so painful, you get sweating and paleness from a vasovagal reaction? 

 

This happens to me about once a year.  I have to rest my head on the clothes hamper to prevent from passing out. 

[Ochocinco!]

Anyone ever dumped their pants?

I haven't, honestly

 

My last year in High School I took a break from Track and ran XC. Long story short the day after Halloween I was tasked to run 6 miles on my own since there was no school. I ate some snickers and kit-kats then jogged out the door. Halfway through my run I got horrible absolute death grip cramps. Which was unusual for me in regards to running. It got so bad that I had to stop & turn back downhill. As i'm jogging downhill or at least attempting to, I feel the feces start to travel through my lower half. I gingerly walk down the rest of the hill hands on my hip clinching as hard as possible. I slowly jog/stumble across the street and as soon as I get onto the sidewalk..... feces starts flowing out of my ass into my briefs&running shorts uncontrollably... I hop like a kangaroo into the wash attempting to salvage whatever clothing I had left.... Thank fkin christ no one saw me...

 

Turns out I wasn't the only one who had this issue, my buddy Ryan said after this story that he has sh*t himself twice on runs... makes me feel a bit better I suppose.

Edited December 17, 2014 by Ochocinco!

[IEAngelsfan]

LOL. Speaking of bookstore poop stories, one time my brother (in his mid-20s at the time) came down with a sudden need to defecate while our family was driving in LA somewhere. The closest place was a Borders, so he jumped out of the car and sprinted to the bathroom. When he got there, both of the stalls were being used and there was a line. Now, the bowel movement was seconds from launch no matter how much my brother clenched. Instinctively he ran to the urinal, dropped his pants, dropped his business, returned his pants, then bolted from the Borders bathroom like it was rigged to explode (even though the explosion had already taken place). He remembers catching the disbelieving eyes of a guy who had been waiting for the stall as my brother's hastily-made contingency plan was put into effect.

 

I can't fault him. I probably would have done the same thing. 

So he came back to the car without wiping himself?  Must have been a pleasant smell in that car the rest of the way.

[DB24]

Anyone ever dumped their pants?

I haven't, honestly

Your time will come.

 

One does not truly know what "fear & panic" feels like....until they sharted their pants.

 

It's a rite of passage kind of thing.

[Pbonetheman]

Have you ever had someone make comments or give you advice from the stall next you?

Usually I'm self conscious and wait for the noise of a faucet or flush. On one paticular occasion I threw caution to the wind and let it go live and unfiltered. The dude next to me let out a high pitched and elongated "what the f@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ck"

[Pbonetheman]

I have to say, a urinal movement is an impressive feat.

[1nutkruk]

Have you ever had someone make comments or give you advice from the stall next you?

Usually I'm self conscious and wait for the noise of a faucet or flush. On one paticular occasion I threw caution to the wind and let it go live and unfiltered. The dude next to me let out a high pitched and elongated "what the f@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ck"

That reminds me one time at work I was in the stall taking care of business and a guy came in to use the urinal.  Just as he unzipped I let out a seismic boom that lifted me off the seat at least three feet.  The guy zipped up immediately and ran out of the bathroom.  I couldn't stop laughing after that.  

[Adam]

I took a crap while my son was in the bath last night. About the midway point he says: "Daddy, you're pooping. It's stinky. Don't do that."

[Angel Dog and Beer]

My second job as a teenager was at a Chick-Fil-A in the mall. Because I was the new guy, I was in charge of cleaning the bathroom at the end of the day.  Shit-you-not (haha) my first day I walk in the bathroom and see nuclear explosive diarrhea all over the toilet, floor, and walls.  Literally nothing in the bowl itself.   After wrapping myself up in gloves, mask and saran wrap I had to clean up that disgusting mess. I eventually worked my way up and out of cleaning the bathroom to the fryer, where you make the big bucks.

[1nutkruk]

My second job as a teenager was at a Chick-Fil-A in the mall. Because I was the new guy, I was in charge of cleaning the bathroom at the end of the day.  Shit-you-not (haha) my first day I walk in the bathroom and see nuclear explosive diarrhea all over the toilet, floor, and walls.  Literally nothing in the bowl itself.   After wrapping myself up in gloves, mask and saran wrap I had to clean up that disgusting mess. I eventually worked my way up and out of cleaning the bathroom to the fryer, where you make the big bucks.

[Spencer]

Still waiting for Soto to weigh in with his epic Angel Stadium poop disaster

[Sully151]

At one point in my life, I was the Captain of a 120 ft tallship. One night during a ten day trip in the northern Channel Islands, we were at anchor and someone had a bout of explosive diarreah. She jammed so much crap and toilet paper into the head she clogged it. At that point, I believe she tried to pump it through the system causing back pressure to send it back because it just exploded all over. It was in the damn ceiling.

That morning I went on my watch and discovered this.

I spent the next three hours down below taking the head apart, unclogging pipes and cleaning. This was all while we were making a transit from Anacapa to Oxnard in 6-8 foot seas and 20+ knots of wind. The smell was so bad and the things I saw were so gross, I had to come up on deck every few minutes to breathe and not puke.

Whenever someone seriously asks me what it was like to be a Captain, I tell them this story.

There were a lot of kick ass perks and adventures that were very fun and romantic, but there were also a ton of not so fun parts too.

[gotbeer]

At one point in my life, I was the Captain of a 120 ft tallship. One night during a ten day trip in the northern Channel Islands, we were at anchor and someone had a bout of explosive diarreah. She jammed so much crap and toilet paper into the head she clogged it. At that point, I believe she tried to pump it through the system causing back pressure to send it back because it just exploded all over. It was in the damn ceiling.

That morning I went on my watch and discovered this.

I spent the next three hours down below taking the head apart, unclogging pipes and cleaning. This was all while we were making a transit from Anacapa to Oxnard in 6-8 foot seas and 20+ knots of wind. The smell was so bad and the things I saw were so gross, I had to come up on deck every few minutes to breathe and not puke.

Whenever someone seriously asks me what it was like to be a Captain, I tell them this story.

There were a lot of kick ass perks and adventures that were very fun and romantic, but there were also a ton of not so fun parts too.

 

Talk about a poop deck.