Random Thoughts Thread

[Tank]

sully = captain jack sparrow

 

 

i re-read your story in a pirate voice and it sounded much, much better.

[Angel Dog and Beer]

Sully, finish the rest of the story where this girl was a super hot Euro (with shaved pits), felt bad for the mess and boinked you in the captains quarters.

[1nutkruk]

I hope the story doesn't lead to a blumpkin.

[Sully151]

Talk about a poop deck.

 

Oh the memories of that joke. I spent a lot of time teaching elementary school kids and that one always got a laugh.

 

sully = captain jack sparrow

 

 

i re-read your story in a pirate voice and it sounded much, much better.

 

My stories about Capt. Jack are pretty fun. Mr. Depp and I watched the sunset in the Caribbean 

 

Sully, finish the rest of the story where this girl was a super hot Euro (with shaved pits), felt bad for the mess and boinked you in the captains quarters.

 

Sadly, no. There were two issues that prevented that. One, she was 17. Very cute, but 17. Two, I smelled like shit.

[1nutkruk]

Oh the memories of that joke. I spent a lot of time teaching elementary school kids and that one always got a laugh.

 

 

My stories about Capt. Jack are pretty fun. Mr. Depp and I watched the sunset in the Caribbean 

 

 

Sadly, no. There were two issues that prevented that. One, she was 17. Very cute, but 17. Two, I smelled like shit.

But didn't you both smell like shit?  Isn't 17 legal out in the open ocean?

Edited December 17, 2014 by 1nutkruk

[mp170.6]

I took a crap while my son was in the bath last night. About the midway point he says: "Daddy, you're pooping. It's stinky. Don't do that."

 

You took a crap in the bathtub with your son in the bath water?  That's nasty, man. 

[Brandon]

Man, old Brandon would have some gem shit stories...at least two of the x-rated variety.

 

Two that fit the theme are mild.

 

One time after dinner at a high end Brea eatery, I believe two years ago, we are heading home and it just hits me like a ton of bricks. Not only is there Christmas traffic, but my girlfriend lived in Rancho next to the streets with the Christmas lights.....it takes so long to get home through that shit. I'm literally dying and saying I can't make it, full blown sweats. So we go into a nearby shopping pad and literally every fast food or diner place has lines to the bathroom because it's all traffic pulling over to go through the Christmas light area. I end up running into an Alberston's or Stater Bros. and like a mad man looking for his last bit of meth am scouring the store for the bathroom. I end up running through the butchers section (ironic since dinner was filet mignon...but what's more impressive is that red meat takes so long to break down in your system that the state I was in is kind of rare to have a solid turn to liquid so quick) and end up going into the employees bathroom. Now, I have a phobia of public shitters. But this was no time to mess around and I actually used it without putting down the aids paper liner. It was one of those that you feel weight coming off your body. The best part was someone was waiting to use it next. There is no feeling like the one of making eye contact with the next person as you walk out.

 

Another is of the sports variety. I may have told this one here before. Many years ago I got really into fitness and health, diet, exercise, supplements....everything. I'd work then hit the gym after, during peak hours. This was my first go-round with supplements, mainly a pre-workout. If any of you have ever taken it you know almost immediately you have to blow it out. So I'm in the locker room, take my supps, take my deuce, and go to workout. Now this being my first dose it's like injecting cocaine straight into your veins.....you literally are so pumped and can't stop lifting or moving. So I'm like a psycho hitting every machine I want to in circuit fashion and making a scene because I'm constantly pacing when I'm supposed to be on break and just not stopping making plenty of trips up around the gym. I decide to end my session as I don't want to overdo it and get hurt. I start to change out in the locker room and look down to see my white basketball shorts have the biggest shit stain down the entire ass crack area. I remember being so mortified and nothing kills your alpha male buzz from killing it at the gym than realizing the whole time you had this happen. I'm not sure if this was from the pre-workout shit or lifting so much and so heavy that something squirted out. Either way it was the walk of shame upon exit.

[gotbeer]

Brandon, you made me cry with your second story.  I was laughing so hard.  Might have pooped too.

[Angel Dog and Beer]

Yeah the second story was awesome.

[Brandon]

Yeah man, never wear white shorts to the gym.

 

I think chicks already know this because of periods, but stuff a manpon or just never wear white shorts.

 

Shit + sweat = bad news

 

It actually had the fading like it would have got worse from the sweat had I kept going.

Edited December 18, 2014 by Brandon

[Ochocinco!]

Awesome ^

[Brandon]

Lol.

Dude!! You have to film it if you do, but also be careful. Edibles are really tough to gauge potency because whether you make the butter or if you just throw it in the batter mix there is usually higher thc counts because it doesn't mix evenly. One person can take a bite and get a normal high and the next can take a bite and go to snooze town.

Especially the way kids these days extract the oil from trim. I'm not a fan.

Last time I was around stuff like that some old dude made butter and put it in trail mix, on cheez-its, and maybe basically a treat type thing mixing cerals and candy. All were solid, but dangerous. The cheez-its were better than the real ones and you'd never know. 5-8 crackers and you'd go to sleep.

[Brandon]

Not really, testing of thc content is pricey so most don't do it. You can't gauge edibles either unless you test individual pieces in multiple places. No one complains anyway because people want the higher dosages.

The best way is to do the butter then add that to whatever you're making. Mixing the batter with it will be as consistent as possible, but then you have to test just to see how potent the butter is by eating.

I'm laughing so hard because if Grandpa eats a full brownie he's going to bed early. For most people just a bite is enough. If someone eats a full one it will be quite the scene.

[IEAngelsfan]

At one point in my life, I was the Captain of a 120 ft tallship. One night during a ten day trip in the northern Channel Islands, we were at anchor and someone had a bout of explosive diarreah. She jammed so much crap and toilet paper into the head she clogged it. At that point, I believe she tried to pump it through the system causing back pressure to send it back because it just exploded all over. It was in the damn ceiling.

That morning I went on my watch and discovered this.

I spent the next three hours down below taking the head apart, unclogging pipes and cleaning. This was all while we were making a transit from Anacapa to Oxnard in 6-8 foot seas and 20+ knots of wind. The smell was so bad and the things I saw were so gross, I had to come up on deck every few minutes to breathe and not puke.

Whenever someone seriously asks me what it was like to be a Captain, I tell them this story.

There were a lot of kick ass perks and adventures that were very fun and romantic, but there were also a ton of not so fun parts too.

Funny stuff, but dude, you were the CAPTAIN!  You designate someone else to clean the bathroom.

[IEAngelsfan]

I like this thread.  Going from the plumbers advice thread, to the explosive crap stories to spiked goodies.  These are the reasons why I read this board. 

[Hollyw00d]

Edibles are a waste of weed imo. Better to just smoke. You're gonna look really stoned either way

[Brandon]

The funny thing is edibles aren't made with weed, this no waste.

When you harvest your crop you get a bunch of people to trim...cleaning up the actual buds to a presentable level for resale. The buds are your "weed" that you smoke.

Edibles are not made with the same buds or "weed". Edibles, wax, dabs, and vaporizers all use oil. This oil is made with all the scraps, for lack of a better word, from the trimming process...dead leaves essentially. It's also why many trimmers propose being paid via bags of trim instead of actual money.

Having wax or oil is legal depending on states and medical status, but the process of making it is highly illegal because you have to make it with butane. Long story short is wax/oil is made by extracting all the thc out of the leftovers. This process leaves you with thc levels way over what the bud represents, hell, it's actually straight thc.

When farmers harvest their crops they use everything. The buds for people to smoke, the wax from the waste (this is becoming extremely profitable and in more demand than bud because of its potency), and even taking the twigs from the plants and letting them soak in tea for an extra high method.

So no, it's not a waste nor is it even used. They are separate products and processes. I know more people wanting to get out of growing and just wanting to do the wax business because of demand and lack of overhead....but you need the shake and trim from the plants.

Many angles in the marijuana game.

[Hollyw00d]

Edibles dont really give you the head trip like smoking or a vaporizer, they just make you feel lazy and tired. Or that's my experience at least. If you're going somewhere or going to do any activities, I don't recommend an edible.

get a nice sativa strain and load up the bong and you'll be ready to roll. Or roll a j if you have the time and motivation

[Sully151]

I have never done any of those things.

[Adam]

I bought cereal at Albertson's tonight and almond milk.

 

I feel like such a democrat

[Tank]

we've used rice milk for the last fifteen years.

[Brandon]

Edibles dont really give you the head trip like smoking or a vaporizer, they just make you feel lazy and tired. Or that's my experience at least. If you're going somewhere or going to do any activities, I don't recommend an edible.

get a nice sativa strain and load up the bong and you'll be ready to roll. Or roll a j if you have the time and motivation

It's not edibles, if it's an indica you're going to be sleepy, if it's sativa more of an upper. They make sativa strain edibles as well.

But at the same time, edibles being made from wax are straight thc, buds aren't. If you over load on thc, yeah, you're going to sleep.

I couldn't tell you the difference between the head trips. I've seen it all and everyone reacts differently. Plus, I don't smoke or care to ingest marijuana...I simply don't like being high and not in control a couple times I did it.

But I'll tell you everything about the plant from growing to selling and every aspect about it haha.

[Brandon]

I bought cereal at Albertson's tonight and almond milk.

I feel like such a democrat

Nasty dude.

Getting away from dairy is good though. My chick doesn't like milk so this stuff has been around for years in the house. The vanilla almond milk is tolerable, but the plain is sick.

[Brandon]

rice milk tastes okay, but has pretty much zero protein

same with almond milk.

i use soy only for the protein content. always unsweetened. some of the veggie milk products have like 7 grams of sugar per serving. gross.

Yeah, to coincide with my post above this. When I met my better half she was a vegetarian. I wouldn't say I'm healthy by any stretch, but invested a lot of time in nutrition and generally speaking know quite a bit. I was curious when we got serious because I thought maybe I could find products and be healthier.

I went through her fridge and cupboards and a lot of that vegetarian stuff is worse than the original items. After showing her she slowing became a normal person with eating. I think people forget with these kind of items that these are still companies that are for profit and need consumers to keep buying their product. No one would eat or ingest these items on their own and these companies put chemicals in the bland base to make it taste good and have it sell.

A ton of "health" food is really bad for you and a lot of the times worse than their original.

[Adam]

Nasty dude.

Getting away from dairy is good though. My chick doesn't like milk so this stuff has been around for years in the house. The vanilla almond milk is tolerable, but the plain is sick.

 

Meh. Almond milk is fine on cereal and in protein shakes. I don't drink soy because I like my dong.