OC Register: Andrelton Simmons opens up about depression and thoughts of suicide

[AngelsWin.com]

As millions continue to struggle mentally and emotionally with the toll of the coronavirus pandemic, Andrelton Simmons decided it was time to tell his story.

Simmons revealed on Tuesday that he decided to opt out of the final week of the Angels’ season last September because of depression and even thoughts of suicide, which had haunted him since he was young.

“It was tough for me mentally to where the thought of suicide crossed my mind,” Simmons wrote to the Southern California News Group. “It was something I vowed a long time ago I would never consider again. I was fortunate to talk to a therapist, which helped me let go of those thoughts. At the end when a lot of people were still going through what most would think of as tough times, the idea of finishing the season in a bubble was too much for me to handle.”

Simmons wrote that the recent thoughts of suicide never became actions, and he chose not to elaborate on how those feelings manifested when he was younger.

“Most people carry scars that others can’t see or understand,” he wrote.

Simmons expressed his feelings in a series of Twitter DM’s, saying he was more comfortable writing his story than verbalizing it because “it is still difficult to articulate certain things or be open.”

On Sunday, the Minnesota Twins held an introductory Zoom call with Simmons, who had finalized a one-year, $10.5-million deal. During that session, which was the first time Simmons had spoken to the media since the end of the Angels’ season, he declined to elaborate on why he decided to opt out.

Two days later, Simmons reached out to a reporter and said he felt it was time to tell the story.

“Now seeing how more and more people are struggling with depression, anxiety and suicide I felt it might be time to share a little piece of my story,” he wrote. “I was afraid of people judging and people twisting my story.”

Simmons becomes the latest high-profile pro athlete to go public with his struggles with depression, joining a list that includes the Dallas Cowboys’ Dak Prescott, the Cleveland Cavaliers’ Kevin Love and swimmer Michael Phelps.

On Tuesday, ESPN published a story in which San Francisco Giants outfielder Drew Robinson detailed how he attempted to commit suicide in April.

“There’s a lot of people out there that are going through stressful times,” Simmons wrote. “For different types of reasons. Which brings a lot of fear or anxiety. And I know there’s the fear of seeking help/assistance because of the perception of people thinking there’s something wrong with you, but I think in reality there are way more people than you might think that are going tough stressful stuff, which can come in different ways: fear, loss, trauma, problems with loved ones. You’re not alone. You don’t have to keep everything bottled up. Find someone that can help you express your emotions freely and that can assist you with it.”

The more people like Simmons who tell their stories, the more others can find help, according to Dr. John Ogrodniczuk, the director of the psychotherapy program at the University of British Columbia.

“We hold athletes high up on a pedestal,” Ogrodniczuk said. “Rightly or wrongly, they are seen as role models for many people in society and they have a public platform that many others don’t. What they do, what they say can have a large effect on other people in general.

“When an athlete says ‘I’m struggling with depression and it affects my life,’ the right thing to do, the courageous thing, is to share. Let people know if you are struggling and need a hand.”

Ogrodniczuk started Heads Up Guys, an organization that raises awareness and provides support for men dealing with depression.

Simmons certainly didn’t set out to be a role model in any sort of campaign.

A 31-year-old native of Curaçao, Simmons has played nine years in the big leagues, earning a name for himself by winning four Gold Gloves and gaining a reputation as one of the best defensive shortstops in history.

His fifth season with the Angels, in 2020, had not been like any of the others.

Players were sequestered in their hotels on the road, and they were tested constantly at the ballpark for COVID-19, all in an effort to get through the shortened 60-game season without an outbreak of the virus.

All players had the choice to opt out at any point if they were uncomfortable, for any reason. High-profile players like Dodgers pitcher David Price, New York Mets pitcher Marcus Stroman and Giants catcher Buster Posey all decided to opt out before the season began.

Simmons played. Throughout the season, though, he could not take his mind off what was going on in the world outside of baseball’s bubble.

“First time was driving through Oakland and seeing some of the shops and restaurants trying to stay open with all the homeless people camping outside,” he said. “That’s when it really hit me.”

Simmons said he began talking to a therapist to help him work through his feelings, but eventually, they proved to be too much.

On Sept. 22, the Angels announced that Simmons had opted out of the final five games of the regular season. Simmons released a statement saying only that he decided it was the best decision for him and his family. The Angels provided little other information, and mostly expressed surprise at his decision.

The news came just as the Angels were entering a bubble for the final week of the regular season. Because they were mathematically alive for the postseason, the Angels and all the other potential postseason teams were subjected to a higher level of quarantine during the final week of the regular season. The idea was to reduce the risk of the virus interfering with the postseason.

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As it turns out, that was the final straw for Simmons.

“I was really saddened by how much I was hearing about the death toll, and seeing how smaller businesses were going out of business and I was a little depressed at how the effects of all the new rules and fears were gonna affect people’s livelihoods and how disconnected people were becoming,” he wrote.

Simmons added: “There’s a lot more that happened but I don’t think my whole life should be put on for everyone to judge. I wasn’t more open with this because I don’t like the idea of having to explain every detail of my life.”

Simmons wrote that he changed his mind as he came to realize that he could help others who had been struggling mentally or emotionally.

“I was afraid of people judging and people twisting my story,” he said. “Some people might not like that I put this out there and some might bring their perspective and judgment to what is personal and good for my overall health. I’m ok sharing this with you because I know NOW that people’s perspective and judgment has more to do with them than me.”

If you or someone you know is in crisis, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255), or contact the Crisis Text Line by texting TALK to 741741.

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[beatlesrule]

Oh wow. Hopefully folks here will go easier on him now.

[Stradling]

1 minute ago, calscuf said:

Well, this should make at least 90% of you people feel like total asswipes.

I completely agree. 

[m0nkey]

Good going, AngelsWin

[ScottT]

That sucks.

It's wild how prevalent this stuff is... or seems.  

[jsnpritchett]

9 minutes ago, ScottT said:

That sucks.

It's wild how prevalent this stuff is... or seems.  

I think it's also a matter of people becoming more comfortable expressing stories like this over recent years, too.  It's always been an issue, but people were scared/uncomfortable when it came to talking about it.  While thankfully I haven't dealt with this issue myself, just within the past 2 years, 3 people who I'm very close to have either committed suicide or contemplated it seriously enough to seek immediate medical/clinical help.  It's been eye-opening for me--and as I said in the other Simmons thread, I feel awful for having been so dismissive of his decision to leave the team.  I'll do my best to be more mindful/non-judgemental moving forward.

[AngelsLakersFan]

[T.G.]

On 9/22/2020 at 3:36 PM, kevinb said:

If people have a problem with what Dipoto did and what Simmons did just now then I don't know what to say. They're the same thing. Simmons calling it quits on the Angels with 5 games left is the just a bad look. Good luck in the off season Simmons, I hope the Angels don't try and re sign you and I hope you get all the money you are looking for. I am not a fan of this at all, I am not a fan of players quitting on their team. I bet there are multiple people inside that locker room who feel the exact same as I.

 

On 9/22/2020 at 4:04 PM, kevinb said:

It would be like Christian Mc leaving week 14 when the panthers are 2 games out of the playoffs. The sun bowl is meaningless. This is still meaningful regular season games. Defend him all you want. But Simmons is a quitter plain and simple. Walked out on his teammates during the regular season. Complete chicken shit thing to do. 

 

On 9/22/2020 at 4:06 PM, kevinb said:

This is nothing less nothing more than a selfish move. It wasn’t about his teammates at all it was about him and free agency. That’s it and that’s all folks. Good luck to him and his future team. 

 

On 9/22/2020 at 4:06 PM, kevinb said:

This is nothing less nothing more than a selfish move. It wasn’t about his teammates at all it was about him and free agency. That’s it and that’s all folks. Good luck to him and his future team. 

 

On 9/22/2020 at 4:44 PM, kevinb said:

Where did I say temper tantrum? I said he quit on his team. There’s 5 games left he’s over it and quit. Doesn’t want to play for the Angels anymore or doesn’t want to play while risking injury before free agency. It makes perfect sense. Youre the only one who sees it as well he quit cause someone in his family was sick and he’s doing the unselfish thing. This is selfish. He quit. It’s fine it is what it is. But you can’t just ignore the facts. No one even knew. It’s not a good look I’m sorry. The family issue that it is, is that he doesn’t want to risk losing millions by getting injured before free agency. So in that terms yes it is a family issue. 

 

On 9/22/2020 at 5:20 PM, kevinb said:

I guess I don’t understand that thinking. At what point would you be ticked off that someone quit on his team? Or their fans? We get mad all day long that this or that person sucks. But at least they’re still trying.  They’re not good anymore but they’re going out there every day trying to be good. Quitting to me is inexcusable. It’s 5 games left. I understand it in the fact the offseason will be here shortly, but I don’t in the fact at the end of the day these are your teammates you don’t just walk out on them. Not a great look. 

 

On 9/23/2020 at 1:18 AM, failos said:

What a coward. A real quitter.

good riddance

 

On 9/23/2020 at 5:16 AM, Gooch said:

Thanks Andrelton for showing your true colors !  You are a QUITTER !!!  Once you relized that Billy Eppler would not be returning and that the angels would

not be wasting their money on a broken down horse you threw in the towel. What a great example you are for children. You failed yourself, your family, your team mates, and true Angel fans. Arte please tear down his poster on the front of the stadium TODAY !!!  David Flethcer is the future and a much better player

than you !   I have never seen a more selfish act than the one you just pulled. You are truely the complete opposite of a guy like Kole Cahoun who will always be cheered by the fans. Angel fans we are so much better off with this loser, quitter, and complete failure gone !!!!!!!

Best Regards,

The Gooch !

 

[T.G.]

34 minutes ago, calscuf said:

Well, this should make at least 90% of you people feel like total asswipes.

That award goes to @kevinb

[Jay]

Who knew the guy was suicidal.

 

 

[T.G.]

Just now, Jay said:

Who knew the guy was suicidal.

 

 

Nobody.... but some didn't want to give him the benefit of the doubt and labeled him a "quitter."

[Jay]

2 minutes ago, T.G. said:

Nobody.... but some didn't want to give him the benefit of the doubt and labeled him a "quitter."

I'm one of those who labeled him as a quitter.

Only because he gave a shitty reason for quitting.

I guess next time a guy quits on the team, I'll think twice before calling him a quitter.

 

[Docwaukee]

these guys are human?  Inconceivable!

[UndertheHalo]

No one that calls themselves an Angels fan should have been anything grateful to Simba the day he’ll called it quits on 2020.  That’s as true today as it was back in August or September or whatever it was.  
 

I do feel badly for his struggles with severe anxiety and depression.  Unless you’ve dealt with these issues it can be difficult for others to understand how dramatically they can impact your life.  It’s not just being sad or whatever.  Hopefully it’s behind him and if not, he’s got a good way to manage it. 

Edited February 3, 2021 by UndertheHalo

[Inside Pitch]

8 minutes ago, T.G. said:

That award goes to @kevinb

Only because he didn't have his posts pulled or pull them himself to save face...  There were a lot of much uglier posts.

[eligrba]

6 minutes ago, Jay said:

I'm one of those who labeled him as a quitter.

Only because he gave a shitty reason for quitting.

I guess next time a guy quits on the team, I'll think twice before calling him a quitter.

 

[eligrba]

Hope he gets the support he needs. From my limited experience with depression and suicidal thoughts, there doesn’t seem to be any remission.

[T.G.]

6 minutes ago, Inside Pitch said:

Only because he didn't have his posts pulled or pull them himself to save face...  There were a lot of much uglier posts.

No doubt.

[Taylor]

15 minutes ago, Jay said:

I'm one of those who labeled him as a quitter.

Only because he gave a shitty reason for quitting.

I guess next time a guy quits on the team, I'll think twice before calling him a quitter.

I love seeing character development!

[Angel Oracle]

5 minutes ago, eligrba said:

Hope he gets the support he needs. From my limited experience with depression and suicidal thoughts, there doesn’t seem to be any remission.

There are medications that don’t affect lots of people in a bad way, like Zoloft.  Just depends on how the body responds to them.

Prayers sent to you, Simba.

 

[Inside Pitch]

I'm glad he's feeling better.  I'm glad his family is fine.  I'm glad there is nothing more that anyone feels needs explaining.  Simba was a great Angel.  Watching him and Trout was the lone highlight a lot of games.

[UndertheHalo]

33 minutes ago, T.G. said:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Haha what can you say.  Yikes. 

[UndertheHalo]

2 minutes ago, Inside Pitch said:

I'm glad he's feeling better.  I'm glad his family is fine.  I'm glad there is nothing more that anyone feels needs explaining.  Simba was a great Angel.  Watching him and Trout were the lone highlights a lot of games.

One of my favorites.  And that’s saying something.  He unfortunately played during a pretty dog shit era for the team. 
 

kind of cool actually if you want to look at it this way.... that despite the miserable performance of the team, guys like Simmons and Trout still made the team absolutely worth watching. 

Edited February 3, 2021 by UndertheHalo

[Keener]

He is my 18 yr old son's favorite player.  On a team with Mike Trout, that says something.

I love watching him play defense.  Artist. 

I hope he can find peace.

[Lou]

16 minutes ago, UndertheHalo said:

One of my favorites

I agree.

 

On 2/20/2019 at 5:09 PM, Lou said:

I get as much enjoyment watching Simmons play every day as I do watching Trout.