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Athletics’ Fans: Good, Good…Let The Butt-hurt Flow Through You


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By Glen McKee, AngelsWin.com Staff Writer - 

So, last night was quite a game, eh?  The brass tacks are that the Angels won 4-3 in ten innings.  There’s more to it than that, though, and that more has the A’s fans as butt-hurt as Boston fans when they first realized their team wasn’t going anywhere this year.  

The first part of the more is the light wave, which sounds close to a light saber, which makes it automatically cool. I had to research a bit about the light wave and here’s what I found:

It’s such a big deal that I found that link on the MLB website and MLB was so concerned about it that they did…nothing at all.  Nada.  It happened again last night though, and even though light couldn’t penetrate either of Vogt’s chins or his scruffy goatee, which obviously isn’t up to Oakland’s “homeless guy beard” standards, suddenly A’s fans are convinced it’s a deliberate and foul effort by Angels management to cheat.

Even though fans have been taking flash pictures for years and cameras are still allowed, it’s cheating because it happened to them just now.  I heard a rumor from my sources (impeccable sources, I tells ya, impeccable!) that in light (ha ha) of this concentrated protest from Oakland that MLB will ban cell phones from games starting now.  So rejoice, fans of the other team from the bay area, your whining has produced results!

The second part of the butt-hurt is over this play:

There was so much butt-hurt about it that Bob Melvin, scarecrow in the offseason and manager of the A’s, protested the game because of the call.  I get the protest; it’s like a challenge in that you roll the dice and hope it goes your way.  If my fan situation was reversed I might even have felt the same way at first.  However, let’s look at the facts here.  First and foremost, Erick Aybar is a baseball genius/idiot, or to quote AngelsWin.com’s Lou, a geniot.  That was a brilliant play on his part.  His base path was obstructed because two players were blocking it, and to avoid them he would have had to go outside the base path and thus been automatically called out.  Instead, he did the smart baseball play and got into a collision.  The umps had a meeting with Melvin and themselves and determined that they made the correct call, and Aybar stayed at 1B.  In a nutshell, the umps made a judgment call (and they’re sticking to that) and you can’t protest a judgment call.  Well, you can, but it will be dismissed.  I’m an internet baseball lawyer and I know my stuff; case closed.  But that’s not stopping the Oakland fans, oh no.  Never mind that if Aybar was on their team (and white, and had lousy facial hair) they’d be praising his baseball acumen and talking about how genius Beane was for signing him to such a team-friendly contract.  He cheated!

Nope.  He played the game the way it’s supposed to be played, and the umps rewarded him by enforcing the rules.  And then the Angels didn’t score a run, meaning the baseball gods passed temporary judgment on them.  That judgment was revoked in the next inning when Pujols went from first-to-third on a single from Hamilton.  Let me repeat that: Pujols went first-to-third.  I’m 45 and semi-fat and I think I might be able to at least keep up with Pujols on the base path, but he made it to 3B without a throw.  I am not kidding.  There’s no greater sign that the baseball gods were on the side of the Angels than that.  And then Howie Kendrick, who I was 100% certain was going to choke, of course came through with the game-winning/ending RBI, and the baseball gods said “Yea verily, thou Oakland fans are collectively a goatish, hedge-born nut-hook!*” and smited them off the field.  And the butt-hurt flowed.  All I can say to the fans of Oakland is this: 

Oh yeah, and this:


In case you missed my subtlety there, Oakland is the bratty kid and the Angels are Jimmy Dugan.  Let the butt-hurt flow!

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For those asking about the flashing lights here, opinions mixed: Several A's told me they don't mind, Jonny Gomes said "It's awesome."



Other A's said it's stupid, and the one Angels player I asked about it said it's a problem on defense for Angels players, they get blinded

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