I love reviewing resumes

[Adam]

What job was this person looking for?

 

Jr. Acct Manager. Entry level management

[Adam]

I don't have any funny stories but when we filled a position I oversee a few years ago I was and still am amazed at how some interviewees came off.  One guy looked well dressed for the interview until he crossed one leg over the other and you realized he had ankle cut Nike socks on.  Another guy seemed quiet and standoffish to me meanwhile he was the exact opposite with our head of hiring who is a woman.  The only thing we could figure is that it was a cultural thing because when he talked to her he leaned forward and got too close while he sat back and seemed skittish when I talked to him. 

 

ankle socks are awesome. We had a guy with a clip on tie once. That was pretty sweet

[nate]

You can imagine as a manager of a GameStop I had some great applicants.  I think the worst one was the guy with two inch long nails, hair so greasy it was a fire hazard and he smelled so bad I had to move the interview outside.

 

I recently conducted interviews for new Obamacare positions that opened up in my company.  All of the people interviewed were internal, looking for promotion.  It was amazing how many people lied to us when we asked about something they did that their manager complimented them for.  Did they not know we would ask their manager about it?

[IEAngelsfan]

Okay guys, I will be laid off in a couple of months

 

So, if I apply with any of you, can I just cut to the chase and indicate on my resume that I spend a lot of time viewing Angelswin.com each work day?

[HaloCory22]

NSFW language

 

[Tank]

i gotta admit, there's a part of me that would love to throw on a wig and a plaid suit jacket and show up to interview with adam and his assistant. 

[katie]

Another guy lists the following under strengths:

 

Consistently provided 5 star 5 diamond customer service

Did he work at a hotel?

[Vegas Halo Fan]

This is why I constantly say that we're doomed.  I hate hiring.  Firing is easy.  Hiring is the worst part of my job.  I usually believe about half to a third of what they have put on their resume.  My favorite is when the resume is spelled as if it were a text or tweet.  J/K OMG LOL!

 

One of my favorites is an applicant who tries to impress you with educational credentials, and they misspell either the name of the school or the major.

[CaliAngel]

Being a new graduate, a fairly competent one mind you, trying to find a career position is downright frustrating, and finding out that I have to be put in a stack and filtered through all these nimrods doesn't make the search any easier.

I mean I'm not going to stop, but it makes the whole thing seem that much more difficult when I'm spending 2-3 hours putting together a resume and cover letter just to be lumped in with these bums.

[Brandon]

So, if the guy at Chipotle and bowling alley are the lower echelon of society, what is unemployment?

[Richard]

I had one where a guy put 2nd degree black belt in his Skills.

[mrwicked]

i had a kid list "skilled rubix cuber" for some scholarship at cal.

epic. i had to bring him in so i could smack in on the side of the head in person.

rubix cube is the easiest thing in the world to solve once you learn the 4 basic moves in the stupid little book. 

Edited November 23, 2013 by mrwicked

[Adam]

I had one where a guy put 2nd degree black belt in his Skills.

 

I've seen similar. People think the more crap they put on their resume the better.

 

My ideal resume lists 1 school (wherever you got your degree from) and degree type. I don't need to know that you got a 2.63 GPA at LBSU. It doesn't help. Throw 2 jobs on there where you have at least 2+ years tenure. Go crazy with the shit you handled, but don't tell me you single handedly increased profits by 600%. 

[nate]

So, if the guy at Chipotle and bowling alley are the lower echelon of society, what is unemployment?

 

Mexican

Edited November 23, 2013 by nate

[CaliAngel]

So, if the guy at Chipotle and bowling alley are the lower echelon of society, what is unemployment?

 

No clue, I'm not unemployed. Guessing somewhere above people that say "boss" though.

 

BTW hows the smell of my ass Brandon? You must to be a big fan, as you seem to be on it pretty much all the time lately.

[mrwicked]

Go on...

 

the interview started like this...

 

[Brandon]

No clue, I'm not unemployed. Guessing somewhere above people that say "boss" though.

 

BTW hows the smell of my ass Brandon? You must to be a big fan, as you seem to be on it pretty much all the time lately.

 

Stating that you bottom isn't helping your aura here.

[Vegas Halo Fan]

One of the questions on our standard interviews for nurses asks the applicant about a difficult problem they encountered at work and how they went about solving it. One guy told us about changing a flat on the way to work. We like for our nursing staff to have more relevant skills.

[nate]

He is completely oblivious to why he hasn't been hired yet.

[Splint7438]

I work in a union shop so I don't usually get to interview and hire. But I have a lot of input on who we keep after the hall sends the guys out. That's the easy part, sorting through before you get attached to someone. Hardest part is when they were hired for day shift, rotated to me on third shift and layoff time comes and it's left to me to decide. I ALWAYS kept the guy or guys with the best skill set. But it was tough to tell a guy with three daughters two weeks before Christmas that he as being laid off. This same guy was marked " in eligible for rehire" because he shared his "****ers I am gonna shoot" list with coworkers. I was number 4 or 5 on the list but I got off work hours before the others so opportunity could have moved me up the list.

[Jay]

Being a new graduate, a fairly competent one mind you, trying to find a career position is downright frustrating, and finding out that I have to be put in a stack and filtered through all these nimrods doesn't make the search any easier.

I mean I'm not going to stop, but it makes the whole thing seem that much more difficult when I'm spending 2-3 hours putting together a resume and cover letter just to be lumped in with these bums.

What are you looking for Cali?

[1nutkruk]

What are you looking for Cali?

CEO

[TobiasFunke]

CaliAngel probably got his/her degree in "business"

[nate]

CaliAngel probably got his/her degree in "business"

 

Communication

[Stradling]

In my current role at INO I don't hire, mainly because we promote from within. I do help as it relates to deciding who goes in to management and I decide who gets promoted or demoted and of course I have to let management go from time to time.

When I was a manager I hired constantly as you could imagine. Considering it wasn't a real difficult position to feel the interviewing process for my was more conversational than anything. I wanted to know whether or not this 16-19 year old kid could carry on a conversation with a customer, while smiling and giving good eye contact . Did they have a track record of working hard, whether it was school or sports or church. Lastly did they have any basic leadership skills. Some kids I interviewed were very impressive at an early age, others not so much.

My favorite application was from about 1995, when I was at the store in GG on Trask. I look at this application and it was very poorly filled out. So I just set it aside (we keep applications for a year). About six months later I'm looking at new applications, and I find a photo copy of the exact same application. He had the foresight to know I wouldn't hire him the first time I guess. The best part of his application was under the question "Salary Expected" his answer was "noseotasle". I looked at past jobs (Richis's Construction in Mobile Alabama) and under rate of pay it said noseotasle. But next to it it said neg but the neg was scribbled out. Noseotasle is how he spelled negotiable. By the way in high school he stated he had a 3.0gpa.