I love reviewing resumes

[Adam]

Some broad believes the following information will assist her in landing employment with a new company:

 

Volunteer Rabbit Socializer 2012-Present
• I socialize rabbits to make them more adoptable
• I let them out for supervised exercise

 

[Adam]

Another guy lists the following under strengths:

 

Consistently provided 5 star 5 diamond customer service

[St1ck]

Another guy lists the following under strengths:

 

Consistently provided 5 star 5 diamond customer service

 

 

 

Little do possible employers know, he is basing this on a scale of 10. 

[red321]

Dude...that's 25 stardiamonds...pretty damn impressive

[Adam]

Unfortunately for him the job requires 6 star 7 diamond platinum service levels

[arch stanton]

Watching rabbits multiply is a desirable skill.

[red321]

You should interview some of these folks...just to see the train wreck that develops

[TobiasFunke]

Watching rabbits multiply is a desirable skill.

He was in the porn business

[Adam]

For anyone out there on the job hunt, if your tenure at every job you've had is 6 months or less, don't list many jobs and have good reasons (lies) as to why you haven't lasted long at previous companies. You had to take care of a sick relative or went to Haiti to feed starving cows or something. I'd say more than half of the resumes that reach my desk list 10+ jobs with an average job tenure of 4 months. Not eligible for hire for any legit position. 

Edited November 22, 2013 by Adam

[Adam]

You should interview some of these folks...just to see the train wreck that develops

 

My HR girl and I are going to pick one lousy person and do the whole interview in (bad) british accents. 

[TobiasFunke]

A different department that I'm in at my work was hiring and my friends in that department were doing the interviews.

 

My buddy said a 26 year old came to check in for his interview, sat down and immediately put in headphones and the music was so loud the secretary girls could hear it about 10 feet away. Then he gets called in to the interview, keeps his headphones in his ears and once my one friend starts to ask his first question the guy looks at him, slowly pulls out both of his headphones and then goes on to finish the interview.

 

26 YEARS OLD

[St1ck]

A different department that I'm in at my work was hiring and my friends in that department were doing the interviews.

 

My buddy said a 26 year old came to check in for his interview, sat down and immediately put in headphones and the music was so loud the secretary girls could hear it about 10 feet away. Then he gets called in to the interview, keeps his headphones in his ears and once my one friend starts to ask his first question the guy looks at him, slowly pulls out both of his headphones and then goes on to finish the interview.

 

26 YEARS OLD

 

 

Probably listening to "Eye Of The Tiger" to get himself pumped up. 

[Adam]

A different department that I'm in at my work was hiring and my friends in that department were doing the interviews.

 

My buddy said a 26 year old came to check in for his interview, sat down and immediately put in headphones and the music was so loud the secretary girls could hear it about 10 feet away. Then he gets called in to the interview, keeps his headphones in his ears and once my one friend starts to ask his first question the guy looks at him, slowly pulls out both of his headphones and then goes on to finish the interview.

 

26 YEARS OLD

 

I can top that... I think. Had this black dude in several months ago. One of the questions we ask all applicants for any position - "Give us at least one example of something you procrastinate on." Most interviewees are unprepared to answer this question and it takes some coaching but usually they say "cleaning my room" or "doing laundry" or "getting my oil changed." This guy didn't hesitate at all and dropped 

 

"Oh for sure call'n a bitch back after I hit it." 

 

I might have shared that here before. Classic.

[AngelsLongBall]

A different department that I'm in at my work was hiring and my friends in that department were doing the interviews.

 

My buddy said a 26 year old came to check in for his interview, sat down and immediately put in headphones and the music was so loud the secretary girls could hear it about 10 feet away. Then he gets called in to the interview, keeps his headphones in his ears and once my one friend starts to ask his first question the guy looks at him, slowly pulls out both of his headphones and then goes on to finish the interview.

 

26 YEARS OLD

This is why I constantly say that we're doomed.  I hate hiring.  Firing is easy.  Hiring is the worst part of my job.  I usually believe about half to a third of what they have put on their resume.  My favorite is when the resume is spelled as if it were a text or tweet.  J/K OMG LOL!

[AngelsLongBall]

I can top that... I think. Had this black dude in several months ago. One of the questions we ask all applicants for any position - "Give us at least one example of something you procrastinate on." Most interviewees are unprepared to answer this question and it takes some coaching but usually they say "cleaning my room" or "doing laundry" or "getting my oil changed." This guy didn't hesitate at all and dropped 

 

"Oh for sure call'n a bitch back after I hit it." 

 

I might have shared that here before. Classic.

I remember that story.  Awesome

[TobiasFunke]

Great story Adam.

 

It's been about 3 years since I was in a position to hire. When I was a supervisor of staff it was so hard to pick the best of the best.

[Adam]

Hiring is such a time suck for a small business. I enjoy our process. We have a pretty good interview process. I've gotten a lot of emails from applicants we didn't hire saying they learned a lot from the experience of interviewing with us. I just wish it didn't absolutely destroy my work week to run interviews. 

[Adam]

Had another guy last go around who didn't provide any substance to his answers and kept reverting to "I just get it done." So I'd ask, "if a client called you and had an issue with department x, what steps would you take to ensure the client's concerns and needs were addressed?" 

 

Dude - "Hmmm... Well... Honestly, I'd just get it done."

[HaloCory22]

Last year I did my first interview for a simple data entry level position. I was a little nervous about what questions I'd ask the guy and whether I should try and be funny/nice or just poker face it all interview and be kinda stern. The first 10 minutes went okay and the dude was answering all of my questions, and then we get to the question of "What is your biggest strength" and this dude straight up says "Pretty sure you can tell by the way I look, but I can eat a lot of food." I couldn't contain myself from laughing. I didn't end up hiring him, but it was memorable nonetheless.

[yk9001]

I can top that... I think. Had this black dude in several months ago. One of the questions we ask all applicants for any position - "Give us at least one example of something you procrastinate on." Most interviewees are unprepared to answer this question and it takes some coaching but usually they say "cleaning my room" or "doing laundry" or "getting my oil changed." This guy didn't hesitate at all and dropped 

 

"Oh for sure call'n a bitch back after I hit it." 

 

I might have shared that here before. Classic.

 

HIRED!!!

[yk9001]

Some broad believes the following information will assist her in landing employment with a new company:

 

Volunteer Rabbit Socializer 2012-Present

• I socialize rabbits to make them more adoptable

• I let them out for supervised exercise

 

What job was this person looking for?

[Catwhoshatinthehat]

I don't have any funny stories but when we filled a position I oversee a few years ago I was and still am amazed at how some interviewees came off.  One guy looked well dressed for the interview until he crossed one leg over the other and you realized he had ankle cut Nike socks on.  Another guy seemed quiet and standoffish to me meanwhile he was the exact opposite with our head of hiring who is a woman.  The only thing we could figure is that it was a cultural thing because when he talked to her he leaned forward and got too close while he sat back and seemed skittish when I talked to him. 

[Jay]

Some years ago when I managed an Engineering team I was screening applicants.  One applicant thought it would be helpful if he included his experience as a "chicken hanger."  The job description was as expected.  "Hung chickens."

[Catwhoshatinthehat]

What job was this person looking for?

 

Fluffer

[Angel Oracle]

For anyone out there on the job hunt, if your tenure at every job you've had is 6 months or less, don't list many jobs and have good reasons (lies) as to why you haven't lasted long at previous companies. You had to take care of a sick relative or went to Haiti to feed starving cows or something. I'd say more than half of the resumes that reach my desk list 10+ jobs with an average job tenure of 4 months. Not eligible for hire for any legit position. 

And I worry about being at the same job for 20 years.