Florida's Finest

[Redondo]

• Florida 8th-grader's prank on teacher leads to felony arrest

[gotbeer]

Flakka, synthetic drug behind increasingly bizarre crimes

 

FORT LAUDERDALE, Fla. (AP) — One man ran naked through a Florida neighborhood, tried to have sex with a tree and told police he was the mythical god Thor. Another ran nude down a busy city street in broad daylight, convinced a pack of German shepherds was pursuing him.

 

Two others tried separately to break into the Fort Lauderdale Police Department. They said they thought people were chasing them; one wound up impaled on a fence.

 

[Brandon]

http://www.gq.com/blogs/the-feed/2015/04/people-peeing-ice-machines-arrest.html?mbid=social_facebook

Dudes in Florida are pissing in hotel ice machines

[Redondo]

Florida couple convicted of having sex on beach; they face max prison sentence of 15 years

 

• Florida woman uses online pizza order to call for help in hostage situation

[Tank]

Florida woman uses online pizza order to call for help in hostage situation

 

 

standing ovation for this woman for figuring out a way, and an equal standing ovation to the people at pizza hut for taking it seriously.

[nate]

I have been in FL for more than 24 hours now and no hijinx.  I am disappointed. 

[mancini79]

http://jacksonville.suntimes.com/jax-news/7/115/174915/florida-man-cash-check-368-billion/

 

LOL at the restaurant he wanted to open with the money.

[Redondo]

http://jacksonville.suntimes.com/jax-news/7/115/174915/florida-man-cash-check-368-billion/

 

LOL at the restaurant he wanted to open with the money.

 

Under water Italian restaurant. That would of worked nice, lol

 

Wonder if the cops ever found Tito

[Tank]

this has quickly become one of my favorite stories.

[JAHV76]

He needs some espresso

[Vegas Halo Fan]

More staggering wisdom from my home state.

 

Florida principal arrested after police find her in a car with student, marijuana

 

When a sergeant knocked on the door, Morton, who has wings tattooed on her lower back, opened it and immediately said, “We're just friends,” according to police. Morton's shirt was unbuttoned, exposing her shoulders and part of her chest, the police department said.

 

Morton told police she didn't know the male in the car. “She continued to tell me that she had just met him, that she was lonely, she had just picked him up down the street and brought him here to get to know him,” police said.

[Tank]

wow. if you're going to lie, at least try to be convincing.

[Vegas Halo Fan]

How in hell do these departments ever get the power to self-police? Biggest oxymoron I can think of.

 

The Nevada Department of Corrections has regular outside inspections of various aspects of our operation. Our administration sees it as a positive, to help us to identify problem areas and to independently verify that we are living up to the standards that we need to be following.

 

The Florida Department of Corrections is notorious for poor operation. For one thing, the staff are not paid or trained well. One of my nurses formerly worked in Florida DOC for a number of years. The agency lost a major class action lawsuit for failing to address concerns of medical personnel who were being sexually harassed by inmates. Rather than trying to control the inmates' behavior, they told the medical staff "That is just how inmates are", and told them to "toughen up". They are several million dollars lighter in the wallet as a result.

Edited May 11, 2015 by Vegas Halo Fan

[Vegas Halo Fan]

Just saw this:

 

Florida Highway Patrol officer stops and cuffs Miami cop speeding in his cruiser

 

I have heard some lame lines used by people trying to get out of speeding tickets, but this Miami officer has some of the worst.

Edited May 11, 2015 by Vegas Halo Fan

[Vegas Halo Fan]

Under water Italian restaurant. That would of worked nice, lol

 

Hey, he is ten percent Italian. It's in his blood.

[mancini79]

Under water Italian restaurant. That would of worked nice, lol

 

Wonder if the cops ever found Tito

 

With that money, he could include sharks with freakin laser beams attached to their heads.

[Taylor]

Florida principal arrested after police find her in a car with student, marijuana

 

Those Floridians sure are crazy. Naming a kid Marijuana? There's no end to their nonsense.

[Blarg]

If they would just pay their school administration more they could afford hotels.

[JAHV76]

Man her husband must be embarrassed.

[gotbeer]

Sea rise threatens Florida coast, but no statewide plan

 

Natural Darwinism. 

[Vegas Halo Fan]

Their Governor is an idiot who should be in prison instead of in the Governor's Mansion.

[Redondo]

If they would just pay their school administration more they could afford hotels.

 

It's nuts that people with money do these kind of things in a car or somewhere they know they could get caught.

[Redondo]

Florida man needs leg amputated after exposure to bacteria at beach

 

Doctors amputated a Florida man's leg after a scrape on the limb was exposed to flesh-eating bacteria at a beach on the Gulf of Mexico, Naples News reported. 

"The water had just splashed over my foot and I didn't think anything about it," Zach Mody, 46, who was at Fort Myers Beach, told NBC2. "I noticed my foot was a little irritated and it just had a little red spot on it."

Twelve hours after spotting the red mark, the infection spread up his leg, causing the man excruciating pain. After doing seven surgeries, doctors amputated the master carpenter’s leg below the knee.

[Redondo]

Florida man chokes physician’s assistant with stethoscope, cops say

[Vegas Halo Fan]

Not only is this from Florida, it's from my home town, home of the $368bn check for underwater Italian restaurants. I'm so proud.

 

Geoff Gaylord, 37, entered a Jacksonville police office and demanded to be arrested and given the death penalty for killing his imaginary friend, Mr. Happy, who he also claimed to have cut into small pieces and buried in his back yard. When the police refused to arrest him he became so disruptive that they finally did.

 

Florida Man Turns Himself In For Killing Imaginary Friend

Edited May 14, 2015 by Vegas Halo Fan