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The World's Most Interesting Baseball Player


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Mickey Mantle had a secret water burial.  When they put him in the water, out popped Mike Mantle.  But everyone felt it would be too suspicious that Mike Mantle was so good at baseball.  While searching for inspiration as to what to name the Mantle incarnate, a Trout jumped out of the water.  Thus, the amazing being was herby named Mike Trout.

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He has taught cheetahs how to run.

His handshakes are the envy of all Freemasons.

The 1st base bag has sought therapy due to abandonment issues.

He is always credited with a double.... when he bunts.

On road trips, female security require him to frisk them, before boarding.

When he keeps his eye on the ball, the ball blinks first.

The "play that never works" always works for him.

When he is called out on strikes, it is recorded by St. Peter, for use when the umpire dies.

He has never adjusted himself.

When he pats teamates on the back, they cite it in salary negotiations.

4 5ths of the Earth's surface is covered by water. The rest is covered by him.

Well done Percy. The salary negotiations one was great.

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when he hits a hr, the dollar rises

 

if he ever misses the bag, it meets him at the next one and appologizes

 

If mickey mantle had trout's liver, he'd still be alive. 

 

my goldfish tried to change it's name

 

Prince Fielder gave him his sandwich

 

Josh Hamilton cares what Mike Trout thinks of him

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He has taught cheetahs how to run.

 

His handshakes are the envy of all Freemasons.

 

The 1st base bag has sought therapy due to abandonment issues.

 

He is always credited with a double.... when he bunts.

 

On road trips, female security require him to frisk them, before boarding.

 

When he keeps his eye on the ball, the ball blinks first.

 

The "play that never works" always works for him.

 

When he is called out on strikes, it is recorded by St. Peter, for use when the umpire dies.

 

He has never adjusted himself.

 

When he pats teamates on the back, they cite it in salary negotiations.

 

4 5ths of the Earth's surface is covered by water. The rest is covered by him.

 

This is brilliant. Well done.

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Most Olympic events have been canceled because of Mike Trout.

 

The Elias Sports Bureau has a new new edition to its name (Without Trout) because Mike Trout has his own.

 

In an extra innings game, the Angels ran out of players.  Mike Trout played all of them.  Angels won.

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