The World's Most Interesting Baseball Player

[Lifetime]

I know we've posted stuff like this about Trouty before, but I thought I'd create a thread to house them all in one place. So post your best creative WMIBP line.

 

Go!

 

 

[Mudville]

"I do not always agree with WAR but when I do, it is against Miguel Cabrera."

[PercySquint]

He has taught cheetahs how to run.

 

His handshakes are the envy of all Freemasons.

 

The 1st base bag has sought therapy due to abandonment issues.

 

He is always credited with a double.... when he bunts.

 

On road trips, female security require him to frisk them, before boarding.

 

When he keeps his eye on the ball, the ball blinks first.

 

The "play that never works" always works for him.

 

When he is called out on strikes, it is recorded by St. Peter, for use when the umpire dies.

 

He has never adjusted himself.

 

When he pats teamates on the back, they cite it in salary negotiations.

 

4 5ths of the Earth's surface is covered by water. The rest is covered by him.

[Second Base]

Mickey Mantle had a secret water burial.  When they put him in the water, out popped Mike Mantle.  But everyone felt it would be too suspicious that Mike Mantle was so good at baseball.  While searching for inspiration as to what to name the Mantle incarnate, a Trout jumped out of the water.  Thus, the amazing being was herby named Mike Trout.

[meat]

Groupies have discovered his 6th tool may be his greatest asset.

[Mudville]

The umpire's union is agreeing upon use of instant replay, just so they can see what he can do, over and over and over.

[JAHV76]

When he steps up to the plate the opposing catcher asks what pitch he would like.

[tdawg87]

The RIAA caught him pirating music. The artists were sued for not being good enough for him to buy their album.

[seenoevil]

Puig mania

[Taylor]

He once beat a laser beam in a 100-yard dash.

[wopphil]

He has taught cheetahs how to run.

His handshakes are the envy of all Freemasons.

The 1st base bag has sought therapy due to abandonment issues.

He is always credited with a double.... when he bunts.

On road trips, female security require him to frisk them, before boarding.

When he keeps his eye on the ball, the ball blinks first.

The "play that never works" always works for him.

When he is called out on strikes, it is recorded by St. Peter, for use when the umpire dies.

He has never adjusted himself.

When he pats teamates on the back, they cite it in salary negotiations.

4 5ths of the Earth's surface is covered by water. The rest is covered by him.

Well done Percy. The salary negotiations one was great.

[Sciosciapath]

He decided to strikeout just to see what it felt like.

[Angel Oracle]

He once skied Mt Everest, and said he was bored.

[Docwaukee]

when he hits a hr, the dollar rises

 

if he ever misses the bag, it meets him at the next one and appologizes

 

If mickey mantle had trout's liver, he'd still be alive. 

 

my goldfish tried to change it's name

 

Prince Fielder gave him his sandwich

 

Josh Hamilton cares what Mike Trout thinks of him

[Vegas Halo Fan]

He has taught cheetahs how to run.

 

His handshakes are the envy of all Freemasons.

 

The 1st base bag has sought therapy due to abandonment issues.

 

He is always credited with a double.... when he bunts.

 

On road trips, female security require him to frisk them, before boarding.

 

When he keeps his eye on the ball, the ball blinks first.

 

The "play that never works" always works for him.

 

When he is called out on strikes, it is recorded by St. Peter, for use when the umpire dies.

 

He has never adjusted himself.

 

When he pats teamates on the back, they cite it in salary negotiations.

 

4 5ths of the Earth's surface is covered by water. The rest is covered by him.

 

This is brilliant. Well done.

[Taylor]

if he ever misses the bag, it meets him at the next one and appologizes

 

My favorite so far.

[Taylor]

Mike Trout's left batting glove once hit .376 in the minors before tearing its ACL.

[Bruce Nye]

Most Olympic events have been canceled because of Mike Trout.

 

The Elias Sports Bureau has a new new edition to its name (Without Trout) because Mike Trout has his own.

 

In an extra innings game, the Angels ran out of players.  Mike Trout played all of them.  Angels won.

[Sciosciapath]

Wins Above Replacement (WAR) was renamed to Wins Below Trout (WBT)

[RenoHalo]

He once killed 2 stones with one bird.

[tomsred]

The bird must have been JJ Hardy, LOL.

[Angel Oracle]

When he struck out to end today's game, the Pirates' closer burst into tears and asked the ump to cancel the last strike.

[Socaliente]

Wilt Chamberlin reported slept with 10,000 women. Trout calls this a slow tuesday.

[STLCardinalsFan]

The Earth is 29% land and Trout covers that when he plays. 

[Tank]

Chuck Norris wears mike trout pajamas.