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Perry Minasian makes blockbuster trade

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ANAHEIM, CA -- In an unprecedented move, Los Angels Angels General Manager Perry Minasian traded team owner, Arte Moreno--along with Albert Pujols' 10-year service contract--to an undisclosed team for a Player To Be Named Later and/or Cash Considerations. When asked how he pulled such an unusual trade off, Minasian merely said, "It just seemed the right thing to do for the future of the club, as supported by advanced metrics."

Moreno was surprised when informed, saying by satellite phone from his yacht that he was going to focus on competing with Jeff Bezos and Richard Branson in a new space program, with Pujols as the face of his new company, tentatively called "Mangs in Space." Further details will be forthcoming.

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AP is reporting that, "Moreno wants to avoid the thrill-ride, space tourism markets, being cornered by Branson and Bezos, and focus exclusively on the emerging near-Earth cruise line market, by building the first space yacht, called "The Luxury Tax", which will shuttle wealthy passengers between the Earth, Moon, and Uranus."

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