Hire this guy's lawyer

[HaloCory22]

http://nymag.com/thecut/2015/12/saudi-millionaire-rape-charge.html?mid=twitter_nymag#

 

 

Ehsan Abdulaziz, a Saudi millionaire property developer, was cleared of rape charges in London this week after he claimed that he had tripped and fallen on an 18-year-old girl who was sleeping at his apartment after partying with him, penetrating her by accident.

 

[TobiasFunke]

WOOOOOOOOOW

[red321]

That is one helluva trip...and what kind of sadomasochist is he...stub his toe and insta hard.

[Ray McKigney]

Crazy what being a multi-millionaire buys.

[Tank]

how convenient that she was sleeping with her legs wide open. and good on you, buddy, for hitting a hole in one as you fell. that's a tricky one to pull off.

[HaloCory22]

how convenient that she was sleeping with her legs wide open. and good on you, buddy, for hitting a hole in one as you fell. that's a tricky one to pull off.

Tiger Woods also accomplished this feat. 

[Angel Dog and Beer]

I hate it when that happens.

[Blarg]

What kind of ****ed up jury bought this bullshit?

[ELEVEN]

What kind of bought jury ****ed up this bullshit?

Fixed

[Kevin]

Man he must have tripped going in and out several times.

[red321]

Man he must have tripped going in and out several times.

 

He was drunk, so he was just struggling getting up

[IEAngelsfan]

You know, it's like when you get into situations where everything really slows down and you see everything in slow motion.  This is exactly what happened here.  He tripped and he noticed that his pecker was still hard.  Since this was happening in slow motion, he had time to look for a soft landing for his dong.  Lo and behold, he saw this girls legs wide open and guided himself into her.  He's really proud of himself and thinks that people would really be amazed on how he pulled off this almost impossible physical maneuver.  Instead, he gets arrested for a silly rape charge.  Good thing the jury recognized this injustice and set things right.

[Tank]

i'm trying to imagine the conversation between this guy and his attorney.

"hey stan, i've got an idea on a defense strategy. check this out - we'll argue that you just accidentally fell right into her, hitting the bullseye so to speak, and therefore it wasn't really rape."

"ha ha, no way. you couldn't get a jury to believe that!"

"oh yeah? i'm so good i can sell ice to an eskimo. just watch!"

"okay, irving, you're the expert. let's run with that."

[Ray McKigney]

Here's a picture of the guy's lawyer:

 

[Sully151]

Man he must have tripped going in and out several times.

The floor was covered with banana peels.

[ABC]

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/millionaire-businessman-cleared-raping-teenager-7018414

[JAHV76]

He must have been sleep walking

[Sully151]

Right now, Cosby is eating a pudding pop and is on the phone with that lawyer.

[JAHV76]

Right now, Cosby is eating a pudding pop after a rufie date and is on the phone with that lawyer.

Fify

Edited December 17, 2015 by JAHV76

[mrwicked]

saudi arabia.

same as ISIS, but our pal.

[wopphil]

Good for him. I have enough trouble locating things under even the most optimal circumstances.

[ELEVEN]

Happy Accidents for $200 Alex...

[wopphil]

Correct me if I'm wrong, which is entirely possible, but what I think Phillip is saying is that sometimes he accidentally finds the brown hole and not the pink, "even under the most optimal circumstances."

Close, but I actually meant simply finding the right hole.

[ELEVEN]

Tight makes right

[ten ocho recon scout]

You guys may laugh, but this "explaination" gets used kind of often. Last time i heard it was a guy who was molesting his 13 year old niece

Just havent seen it work till now