Let the Yankee Hatred Flow Through You

[AngelsWin.com]

By Glen McKee, AngelsWin.com Columnist & Satirist 

Good, good.   It’s been a while since I’ve truly felt the Yankee hatred in me, and quite frankly I’ve missed it.  I didn’t realize how just how much I missed it until I started to feel it again, a few days ago.  There were several factors that led to my recent Yankee apathy. 

First and foremost was that the Angels have had a bad run over the last four seasons and most of my baseball ill-will has been aimed at the home team.  It was difficult to generate hatred for another team (although I still maintained my hatred of the Red Sox – that well never dries) when my own team was woeful.  I couldn’t spare any hatred for the Yankees when we had Mathis on our team, or Wells, or various other scapegoats. 

Second was that the Yankees missed the playoffs last year.  Can I get an amen from the congregation!  That almost helped me forget how bad the year was for the Angels.  At the end of last season I also let myself believe, just for a little while, that the Yankees were serious about not going over the salary cap this year.  Yeah, I know. 

Third was that they have Alex Rodriguez on their team (and still do) and the attendant circus that goes with it.  Geddit?  Circus, centaur…ah, never mind.  I hoped that he would still be playing with them this year, and that the Yankees would be forced to pay his salary and stick him on the field.  Wrong again. 

So, the Yankees had slipped off my hatred radar.  And then, the offseason started.  First, they got the blocker, Brian McCann.  Yankees fans should love this bag of douche.  He got his panties in a twist because another douchebag, Carlos Gomez, showed up his former team, and McCann decided to play bridge troll and not let him pass, even though McCann was completely in the wrong.  A self-appointed enforcer of baseball’s unwritten rules will fit perfectly with their self-important fans.  My hatred was getting rekindled.  Good, good…

Next, Derek Jeter announced his retirement and my hatred once again ebbed.  Like most baseball fans, I like Jeter, even though he’s a Yankee (after this year, I’m glad to say, there is nobody on their roster I have to make excuses for liking – I can go back to 100% hatred).  Jeter was a perfect ambassador for baseball and his conduct off the field will forever have my admiration – I’ll never look at gift baskets the same way.  Fortunately, Jeter’s retirement didn’t extinguish the embers of my hatred, because…

The Yankees outbid everybody else for Tanaka.  Damn, I wanted him on the Angels.  I figured he would be good and he’d at least be worth the chance if you could afford him, and I assume Arte Moreno can.  But of course the Yankees wouldn’t be outbid and of course he’s in pinstripes and doing well (so far).  I certainly don’t blame him for chasing the money; I would do the same if I was in his shoes.  Seeing him pitch well is another log on the bonfire of my Yankee hatred.

Also mixed in with the offseason was the Yankees signing Jacoby Ellsbury from the Red Sox.  This move left me conflicted.  Part of me liked it because it pissed off the Red Sox fans, and anything that pisses off the chowds is at least somewhat good.  However, it also stoked the embers a bit because it showed the Yankees in panic mode, signing all the big free agents.  What a bunch of a-holes, signing everybody willy-nilly.  See, it’s different with the Angels and Pujols and Hamilton because, well…it just is.  We’re not the Yankees, OK?

And then the Yankees got off to a good start.  The flames, like in the Johnny Cash song, went higher.  And then I realized that in a few days the Angels are going to Yankee stadium, and the fire burned!  God, it feels good to be thawed by that righteous heat.  Coupled with the Angels typical slow start, the fire raged, and it’s about to see its culmination. 

Add to all of this that Michael Pineda got caught cheating for a second time.  This time it was so obvious that MLB in general and the umpires and Red Sox in particular couldn’t ignore it or make excuses for it.  I look forward to Joe Girardi explaining how he didn’t know what his pitcher was doing, both times he did it.  Are you kidding me?  I know that all baseball teams at least try to cheat, but most of them at least give fans the courtesy of hiding the evidence of said cheating.  Pineda was so arrogant that even after he was caught doing it once he figured he was aces to do it again.  The arrogance of those pinstripes, I tell ya.

I want the Angels to go into Yankee Stadium (or whatever dumb name they have for their new place – Dingusville?  AttentionWhore Stadium?) and to destroy them in three games with a cumulative score of 33-1.  Give them a run in each game for some false hope; maybe even have Jeter hit a home run just so ESPN has something to put in the spank bank.  I look at the schedule on mlb.com and for each game the Yankee pitcher is listed as TBA.  I want them DOA.  I want the Angels to face Sabbathia and beat him so bad that he starts binge-eating and ends up like White Goodman at the end of Dodgeball (I know, he pitches on Thursday so we won’t see him.  Let me rant.)  I want Brian McCann to illegally block the plate while Erick Aybar is trying to score, and Aybar to pile-drive him and send him to the 60-day DL with a fractured skull and displaced labia.  Yes, I’m wishing injury on somebody, but he plays for the Yankees.  Check the bible; it’s OK to wish harm on a sports figure as long as he plays for the Yankees or Red Sox.  I don’t know enough about Ellsbury to wish any harm on him, other than the general malaise that I wish on all Yankees players (Except for Jeter, of course.  Everybody loves Jeter.) – a pox of some sort would do just fine.  OK, I hope he makes a crucial error that costs the Yankees a game and sends them into a downward spiral. 

Furthermore, I hope that those rich fans that half-fill the ultra-expensive seats behind home plate leave each game feeling like they wasted their money and contemplating the life choices that led to them supporting the Yankees and going to a game.  I hope all the other Yankee fans get paper cuts from their tickets, and the ones that have paperless tickets get a benign tumor from their cellphones.  I hope they all spill at least one expensive beer right after purchasing it.  I want that stadium burned to the ground (figuratively, of course) after we pull chocks on Sunday.  Is that too much to ask?

Good, good.  Let the hatred flow through you…

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[Spirit]

"...they got the blocker, Brian McCann.  Yankees fans should love this bag of douche."

 

 

LOL!

[arch stanton]

My Yankee hate never fades and I don't even like Jeter. 

[ELEVEN]

Cannot wait for your Red Sawks article!

[Chuck]

Solid, Glen. The time is NOW to not only get our first sweep of the season, but finally get over .500 for good the rest of the season. 

 

Here's to punching the Yankees in the mouth this weekend. 

 

Cheers! 

[Hollyw00d]

 I don't even like Jeter. 

 

 

 

blasphemy!!!!!!! you shouldn't even be allowed to watch baseball

Edited April 24, 2014 by Hollyw00d

[ELEVEN]

No gift basket for you!

[Glen]

I was inspired by the return of Foe Fodder.  Adam helped me find my hatred again.  

[19HALO71]

Having been born in Brooklyn, New York. My father taught me to hate the Dodgers first and the Yankees second. But don't get it twisted, I have a deep flowing hatred for all that is pin striped. Especially, when I have so many family members still in NY. I Just hope our Angels play big boy baseball and sweep the Damn Yankmees. Because there is NOTHING worse that New Yorkers having bragging rights.

[MVTrout]

"displaced labia"

BWHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!

[ELEVEN]

I was inspired by the return of Foe Fodder.  Adam helped me find my hatred again.  

He's like a Hate Sensei

[laagamer]

I'm pretty sure I have a "I f***ing hate the Yankees" tattooed somewhere, and I always hated Jeter.

 

 

I don't care what he did for anything, HE'S A YANKEE 

[Blarg]

Hate say Glen but the Yankees had the Pope remove that part in the bible about smiting all who wear pinstripes. In it's place is the book of Jeter and how he had spread gift baskets amoungst the recently deflowered virgins. The Red Sox are still referred to as demon spawn.

I hope this series is inspirational enough to get their fan base to drag out of retirement the official I Hate The Angels thread and start posting again.

http://forums.nyyfans.com/archive/index.php/t-105806.html

[Blarg]

I'm pretty sure I have a "I f***ing hate the Yankees" tattooed somewhere...

Your proctologist is the only one who has seen it.

[tomsred]

Oh goody, we get to play in the Tar Pits of New York.  Next time Pineda loads up he should spread some of that stuff on the inside of his mouth, that will improve his bowel movements.

[Chuck]

I was inspired by the return of Foe Fodder.  Adam helped me find my hatred again.  

 

 

Foe Fodder is incoming.....

[Spirit]

I was inspired by the return of Foe Fodder.  Adam helped me find my hatred again.  

 

I like Glen's version of Yankee hate, because it comes from a straight guy. 

[Vegas Halo Fan]

"...they got the blocker, Brian McCann.  Yankees fans should love this bag of douche."

 

 

LOL!

 

Being a Braves fan as well, I have no love lost for McCann.

 

Like you, my Yankee hatred lay dormant for a while, even surpassed by my Red Sox hatred to the point that I openly rooted for New York against them, something I could never have envisioned five or six years ago. Then came their off-season spending spree. I was reminded of a comment made one year at the All Star Game, in which one announcer said that the Yankees treated the ASG "like a bargain swap meet." It was easier to hate them when they were buying every meaningful free agent, when it seemed like any player of any stature was destined to wind up with the Yankees at some point. Hatred also came more easily when King George ran the ship, because he personified all that was wrong about the Yankees and their fans: Arrogant, brash and entitled. When the old man passed the torch, his sons may privately have many of the same qualities, but they are neither as visible nor as hateable as King George.

 

Ironically, my hatred for the Yankees is responsible in part for my Angels fandom. I am married to a Yankee fan. Being a fan of a National League club (Atlanta), I didn't have much to fight back with - especially since the Braves had this habit of folding up on the few occasions when when they played the Yankees. Then came the move west, and trips to Anaheim when the Yankees were in town. I hated the Yankees but I had no particular feelings for the home club - at first. Then I saw that the Angels had more success against the Yanks than pretty much anyone else, I became familiar with the players, and a beautiful relationship was born.

 

Welcome back, Evil Empire. May the halo be forever lit when we face one another.

Edited April 25, 2014 by Vegas Halo Fan

[The Ghost of Bob Starr]

I don't hate the Yankees at all.

I've never quite understood the fascination with hating them. Their fans maybe, until the Red Sox fans became 10x as obnoxious.

The Yankees never knocked the Angels out of anything. In fact, the Angels had a good long run of doing well against them.

The Red Sox on the other hand, 1986 will always bum me out. 2002 didn't erase it. The Red Sox have slapped us around and we've watched horse face lackey and beard o crabs Napoli win rings there. I far hate the Red Sox over the Yankees.

I get loathing the money that the Yanks splashed around for decades. But I've got news for you, Arte ain't poor. He's been splashing. Problem is MS isn't JT or JG.

Had we won rings back to back with Pujols and Hamilton, the baseball world would hate us, the jokes about spending would be never ending and the fans would be just obnoxious.

To me the Yankees have been humbled for the last decade or so, especially when the Sox came back to beat them and won the first series in 90 years. The Yankees have had tons of injuries and let downs. The Teixera deal was pretty bad in the end. He has been injured consistently and his numbers suck.

Mariano was superhuman. Now he's gone. They're just another ball club to me. Now the Red Sox.... WAR!

Edited April 25, 2014 by SOTO

[tomsred]

I'm with you SOTO, I hate the Red Sawks far more.  I've seen far too much of their obnoxious fans, they have done too much damage to the Angels over the years.  Every time we beat them it's special for me.

[JAHV76]

The Yankee fans at the big A are more annoying then the Yankees team.

[sneaky_flute]

Why do the Yankees prohibit facial hair while allowing ill-fitting uniforms, gold chains, and crooked hats?

[ELEVEN]

I though it was pubic hair they prohibited.

[Bobster7587]

Great work Glen. I would love to hear what Percy has to say on this subject.

[Amazing Larry]

Why do the Yankees prohibit facial hair while allowing ill-fitting uniforms, gold chains, and crooked hats?

 

That's a good question.