Christmas gift ideas for the wife?

[wopphil]

Anyone have any good suggestions? I am not the most thoughtful guy and i struggle with gift ideas.

I was thinking of getting her some Pilates classes. But our youngest isn't in preschool yet, so my wife doeant really have the ability to get away. 

I was thinking some nice earings. 

But that's about it. Any ideas would be most appreciated.

[Blarg]

If she cooks buy her high quality spices like cardamon seeds, real vanilla beans from Madagascar that are A grade or better, maybe even some Celon cinnamon sticks and saffron. 

They can be stocking stuffers or small invidual gifts.

[Tank]

A personalized bowling ball or a puppy.

[JAHV76]

A spa gift card for pampering. 

[Adam]

A homemade coupon good for one deep dickin 

[Blarg]

He didn't mean from Phil.

[Tank]

a new ironing board.

[well_red]

lately i've been shopping for my wife at clearance sites like outnet.com.  sizing is tough but i just go find a designer she already owns and buy the same size.  the only thing my wife likes better than a new designer dress is one that she knows was 50-75% off.  plus you don't even have to go to the store.

[Brandon]

I read your “earings” as earnings and thought that was a solid idea.

I hear giving women things like vacuums, high level Swifters, or anything cleaning related goes over well.

[Blarg]

Power washer and a scrub bucket is always a good idea. 

[Tank]

Construction paper, ribbons, sparkles, and glue.

[Redondo]

8 hours ago, Brandon said:

I hear giving women things like vacuums, high level Swifters, or anything cleaning related goes over well.

Lol, those always go over well. Nice personal touch to them. You can add toasters and blenders to that list.

[Tank]

deodorant and a new razor.

[Sully151]

Mrs. Wopphil sees a special box wrapped with her name on it. Wopphil takes it to her all excited about his thoughtfulness.

She excitedly rips open the paper and into the box to find a certificate for Pilates classes.

Unable to contain his excitement as the toddler runs through the paper, he asks “well, what do you think? Pretty great and thoughtful, huh?”

Mrs. Wopphil looks him in the eye and says-

“it doesn’t matter what I think, because YOU THINK I AM FAT. I am raising YOUR  baby and doing the best I can while my body has been ripped to pieces, all while you fuck around on baseball forums and you think I’m fat so you buy me Pilates classes so I look like all the 22 year olds that you gawk at while we are at target. Yeah, you think I don’t see that? Well guess what, I do. I see it every fucking time, you perv. Hey, why don’t you get on that bicycle of yours and lose the dad bod you insensitive lard ass. Huh?, what do I think? I think you are taking care of the baby for the rest of the day. I think you better be able to get a refund, I think there better be a fucking cruise under the tree, or you will never see my fat naked body again. That’s what I think.”

 

also, never buy a Fitbit for Mrs. Sully.

[Sully151]

RIGHT?

a couple of weeks ago, my wife had a bad Thursday. On Friday morning she woke me up and said “you better buy me flowers and make me dinner.” 

Did I do it? Absolutely.

last week, I had a bad day. The next morning I said “You better buy me a bike and give me a bj.”

Did she do it? Nope.

[Blarg]

Dandilions and a Hungry Man TV dinner isn't getting you that blow job. 

[Blarg]

Luckily for me my wife needs a new laptop which means I get to blow a lot of money on one gift and not have to figure out how to spend it across several. 

[Tank]

1 hour ago, Blarg said:

Dandilions and a Hungry Man TV dinner isn't getting you that blow job. 

crap.

on to plan B.

[HaloNArizona]

On 12/4/2017 at 9:27 PM, Tank said:

A personalized bowling ball or a puppy.

This is what we are getting...for my wife's birthday.  

[HaloNArizona]

This seems to be a popular item:

 

https://www.origamiowl.com/

 

 

[Sully151]

1 hour ago, Blarg said:

Dandilions and a Hungry Man TV dinner isn't getting you that blow job. 

I really just wanted the bike, but figured I would give her options.

[the dude abides]

You're welcome.

[Brandon]

15 hours ago, Redondo said:

Lol, those always go over well. Nice personal touch to them. You can add toasters and blenders to that list.

Funny story.

my buddy tells me he’s getting his chick some Dyson vacuum and something like a mixer. I’m kind like, “ok, that’s weird” but the dude is Cuban, so many that’s the deal since I know there’s a weird subservient role in some cultures.

chicks we know and even some dudes ask what he’s getting her and when he says it they all rip him a new asshole and talk about how he’s a woman hating dick. 

Every time after they are finally done he says, “that’s honestly what she told me she wants”

and she actually did. She was in love with that vacuum.

[arch stanton]

My wife asked specifically for a sewing machine and she'll be disappointed if she doesn't get it. I'll probably get her something more personal to round out the day but that would just be icing on the cake

[Blarg]

You better not fuck up that sewing machine choice because there is a huge difference between brands, features and most importantly the quality of the stitch.