Anxiety

[tdawg87]

I need a colonoscopy but having severe anxiety makes me terrified.

I also need a sleep study (sleep apnea almost certainly) but it's the same thing. I ain't sleeping during that shit. 

[Taylor]

17 hours ago, cals said:

@Taylor don’t you have to do public speaking for you job? I thought you were like a pastor or something.

I used to be a youth pastor, and I did do a lot of public speaking. Surprisingly, public speaking has never been too much of a challenge for me. If I had a choice, I'd prefer to deliver a speech to a room of 100 people than enter a room of 100 people and be expected to mingle with them.

[failos]

21 hours ago, Taylor said:

That sounds tough. Balancing our parents' expectations with what we think is best can cause a lot of stress.

Regarding your question at the end, I was lucky to grow up in a Christian household that saw mental health the same way it saw other health issues. So by the time I had the opportunity to seek treatment, I was met with understanding from my parents.

This is one of those issues where Christians have traditionally been on the wrong side. Thankfully, the views of your parents are becoming less prominent as pastors, churches, and Christians become more educated about mental health.

The way I see it, if a person is diabetic, they take insulin to treat the chemical imbalance in their bodies. When a person with clinical anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, etc. takes medication, they are doing the same thing: treating a chemical imbalance in their brain. There's a proven physiological component to mental illness. To deny that is to deny how God designed our body chemistry.

Saddleback Church has an excellent mental health ministry that was established after Rick and Kay Warren lost their son to suicide.

https://hope4mentalhealth.com/

Thanks Taylor, and thanks for the link. I’ve always liked Rick Warren, and it’s sad what happened to his son.

I agree with you 100%

Mental health conditions should be viewed the same way as any other medical condition. My family means well, though. Unfortunately, they don’t grasp what it’s like to feel depressed or have generalized anxiety. They’re reasonable people, though.
 

Honestly, the sexual side effects really pushed me to stop the Zoloft. Anyways sorry for the TMI, but yeah—that’s a deal breaker for a single guy like myself.

I’m hoping lifestyle changes will help me overcome the depression and anxiety. I might even try some St. John’s Wart or something natural like that. If I still feel like shit, then I’ll have to go back to ADs and find some kind of way around the side effects.

Thanks again, buddy.

[failos]

8 hours ago, tdawg87 said:

I need a colonoscopy but having severe anxiety makes me terrified.

I also need a sleep study (sleep apnea almost certainly) but it's the same thing. I ain't sleeping during that shit. 

I had a colonoscopy and nothing showed up. I also need a sleep test because I have experienced weird sleep issues like sleep paralysis and insomnia. Sounds like we have some things in common, tdawg.

This isn’t a joke, but I’d recommend GasX (Simethicone). It’s a harmless medicine and it’s reduced my anxiety believe it or not.

I also agree with you re: the benzos. My issue is taking them every day instead of as needed. I just hate relying on them since they’re so easy to use as a crutch. I genuinely panic when I’m running low on them. I envy people who just take a benzo here and there (on a flight, big speech, etc).

[Taylor]

11 minutes ago, failos said:

Thanks Taylor, and thanks for the link. I’ve always liked Rick Warren, and it’s sad what happened to his son.

I agree with you 100%

Mental health conditions should be viewed the same way as any other medical condition. My family means well, though. Unfortunately, they don’t grasp what it’s like to feel depressed or have generalized anxiety. They’re reasonable people, though.
 

Honestly, the sexual side effects really pushed me to stop the Zoloft. Anyways sorry for the TMI, but yeah—that’s a deal breaker for a single guy like myself.

I’m hoping lifestyle changes will help me overcome the depression and anxiety. I might even try some St. John’s Wart or something natural like that. If I still feel like shit, then I’ll have to go back to ADs and find some kind of way around the side effects.

Thanks again, buddy.

You got it.

Sexual side effects are definitely a reality of SSRIs. I still have them from time to time, but after being on medication for 10+ years, the side effects have lessened over time and/or I've learned to live with them and still have a fulfilling sex life. But my psychiatrist told me the No. 1 reason people stop taking SSRIs is those side effects. 

I also gained weight at first, but at the time I was underweight so it wasn't a big deal. 

[Taylor]

6 minutes ago, failos said:

I had a colonoscopy and nothing showed up. I also need a sleep test because I have experienced weird sleep issues like sleep paralysis and insomnia. Sounds like we have some things in common, tdawg.

This isn’t a joke, but I’d recommend GasX (Simethicone). It’s a harmless medicine and it’s reduced my anxiety believe it or not.

I also agree with you re: the benzos. My issue is taking them every day instead of as needed. I just hate relying on them since they’re so easy to use as a crutch. I genuinely panic when I’m running low on them. I envy people who just take a benzo here and there (on a flight, big speech, etc).

Benzos can easily be abused, unfortunately. One of my family members ruined his marriage and many of his relationships due to benzo addiction. 

[failos]

17 hours ago, mmc said:

Yeah, I've tried several medications, none seem to really be all that affective at solving the problem though.  Just always seemed like the equivalent of breaking your leg and only taking opiods to treat it, yeah it'll solve the most pressing thing ailing you but the underlying problem isn't getting resolved.  I don't see my psychiatrist nearly as much as I used to, just becoming too hard to get an appointment, seems like covid might've brought in a whole new demand for mental professionals.  Usually only see him every 2-3 months at this point, though we message back and forth when general issues come up.  I wasn't seeing a psychologist for awhile either (right before covid started until about a month ago), my psychiatrist put me on an app called Mindstrong that I think is only accessible if you're recommended to it by a psychiatrist.  I have a telehealth therapist I call every week, and they also have a hotline you can message 24/7 and get a response if you're ever having a serious panic attack or start feeling suicidal or just whatever that requires immediate attention.  

 

I think I might also have IBS, I've had serious stomach problems for quite some time now, feeling bloated, full, or nauseous constantly regardless of what I drink.  Had multiple procedures done but nothing has come up with any actual ailment that I might have.  I've yet to see a gastro doctor though, it's the next thing I plan on trying.

Agree with you about benzos, it can help me in a current moment but it doesn't actually solve what's wrong with me, which can honestly end up making me feel worse.

With weed, it's really all just based on how it makes me feel.  I've never had any sort of addiction to it, so when I feel like it makes my anxiety worse, I just stop for awhile, and if I feel like it's really helping me be productive I will several times a day.  Other times I'll just have a vape that I'll just use whenever I start getting anxious about something.  Also pretty much just a bandaid, but it can help more than medication does (and might be healthier?  who knows)

 

 

 

One thing that's probably bothered me more than anything is just not knowing when I'll ever see my long distance girlfriend.  I mean, I know when I'm seeing her, she just booked a flight for next month, but back when we first started dating, when I was 16 and she was 17, we would see each other every 2-4 months or so , and we'd never really have more than a month when at least one of us didn't at least have our flight to see the other booked.  I live in Orange County and she lives in Toronto, so once covid started, and just as we got older and had way more responsibilities (we are 21 and 22 now), I've only spent time with her once since December of 2019, when I stayed at her house for 2 and a half months from November 14th of last year to January 31st.  During that whole near we didn't see each other though, we had no clue when the border bullshit would allow us to, and then again from when I left until she booked her flight last week.  She also is wanting to move in with me and has for a few years now, and is able to now that she just graduated university, but it's of course a lot harder of a decision for her to actually make rather than talk about, and I have no idea when she'll be ready to do it full time.  Good chance she looks for a job when she comes next month and hopefully finds something that enables her to stay here long term.  Either way it's just been a really stressful time for us which I feel has really contributed to it.  At least once she's here these feelings will likely be gone.

 

I wish you the best re: your GF. I remember you mentioning this before, and it’s tough—heck long distance relationships are stressful regardless of COVID. That would make me anxious as hell. Hopefully you two are reunited soon.

Look into GasX like I suggested to tdawg. It’s helped me quite a bit. Try and slow down on the weed, it might seem like it helps anxiety/gastrointestinal issues but once you stop, those issues amplify (at least they did for me) during withdrawal, and once your body isn’t dependent on it, you’ll never think about weed again.  
But it sounds like you’re not dependent on it, so no biggie.

[failos]

2 minutes ago, Taylor said:

Benzos can easily be abused, unfortunately. One of my family members ruined his marriage and many of his relationships due to benzo addiction. 

I don’t abuse them, but I do take them every day. It’s not ideal, but they are indeed easily abused and can definite damage relationships.

 

4 minutes ago, Taylor said:

You got it.

Sexual side effects are definitely a reality of SSRIs. I still have them from time to time, but after being on medication for 10+ years, the side effects have lessened over time and/or I've learned to live with them and still have a fulfilling sex life. But my psychiatrist told me the No. 1 reason people stop taking SSRIs is those side effects. 

I also gained weight at first, but at the time I was underweight so it wasn't a big deal. 

Yeah…well you don’t have to worry about sex now that you have a kid! Haha jk.

I went from wearing XS shirts to wearing size L. My metabolism still hasn’t recovered, but I’m losing some weight.

[failos]

6 minutes ago, cals said:

I had the test where they stick a camera in your peehole.  

Same. I’ve talked about this before, but that test sucks. I think I’d rather die than do that again.

[failos]

Just now, cals said:

Maybe they just didn't do it right. Come over and I'll show you the right way.

Yeah they botched it. Kaiser sucks.

[failos]

Just now, cals said:

What time are you coming over?

[tdawg87]

20 minutes ago, failos said:

I had a colonoscopy and nothing showed up. I also need a sleep test because I have experienced weird sleep issues like sleep paralysis and insomnia. Sounds like we have some things in common, tdawg.

This isn’t a joke, but I’d recommend GasX (Simethicone). It’s a harmless medicine and it’s reduced my anxiety believe it or not.

I also agree with you re: the benzos. My issue is taking them every day instead of as needed. I just hate relying on them since they’re so easy to use as a crutch. I genuinely panic when I’m running low on them. I envy people who just take a benzo here and there (on a flight, big speech, etc).

Like Taylor said, they can be abused. I myself abuse them. I take more than prescribed almost every day I work. It evens out during my off days because I don't do anything, but still. 

My goal is to get to the point you mentioned, where you just use one here and there during particularly stressful situations. For me, I face a panic attack every time I step out my front door and I've spent years convincing myself that there is nothing worse than a panic attack. Seriously. I've been driving on the highway and have had a panic attack and the thought has crossed my mind that the way out...is to just crash into the barrier. 

I would never actually do that. But it just shows how fucked up I've made myself, when literal death seems like a better option during a panic attack. And I GET PANIC ATTACKS ABOUT DYING. It's hard to convince myself I'm not insane. Some days I'm not so sure.

I've been diagnosed with Panic Disorder and Agoraphobia. There's probably several other undiagnosed conditions. 

It sucks man. I feel safe at home, but once I leave? I'm fighting a panic attack all day. And remember, a panic attack is worse than death to some parts of my mind.

I need therapy. Unquestionably. But with covid most therapists around here are only doing phone convos and that shit doesn't work for me. And the one I did talk to just told me to watch YouTube videos of meditation. Complete waste of time and money.

It sucks.

[Jason]

 

[Jason]

40 minutes ago, failos said:

I had a colonoscopy 

Did you and Dr. Shandri have a safe word? 

[AngelsLakersFan]

23 hours ago, mmc said:

Yeah, I've tried several medications, none seem to really be all that affective at solving the problem though.  Just always seemed like the equivalent of breaking your leg and only taking opiods to treat it, yeah it'll solve the most pressing thing ailing you but the underlying problem isn't getting resolved.  I don't see my psychiatrist nearly as much as I used to, just becoming too hard to get an appointment, seems like covid might've brought in a whole new demand for mental professionals.  Usually only see him every 2-3 months at this point, though we message back and forth when general issues come up.  I wasn't seeing a psychologist for awhile either (right before covid started until about a month ago), my psychiatrist put me on an app called Mindstrong that I think is only accessible if you're recommended to it by a psychiatrist.  I have a telehealth therapist I call every week, and they also have a hotline you can message 24/7 and get a response if you're ever having a serious panic attack or start feeling suicidal or just whatever that requires immediate attention.  

 

I think I might also have IBS, I've had serious stomach problems for quite some time now, feeling bloated, full, or nauseous constantly regardless of what I drink.  Had multiple procedures done but nothing has come up with any actual ailment that I might have.  I've yet to see a gastro doctor though, it's the next thing I plan on trying.

Agree with you about benzos, it can help me in a current moment but it doesn't actually solve what's wrong with me, which can honestly end up making me feel worse.

With weed, it's really all just based on how it makes me feel.  I've never had any sort of addiction to it, so when I feel like it makes my anxiety worse, I just stop for awhile, and if I feel like it's really helping me be productive I will several times a day.  Other times I'll just have a vape that I'll just use whenever I start getting anxious about something.  Also pretty much just a bandaid, but it can help more than medication does (and might be healthier?  who knows)

 

 

 

One thing that's probably bothered me more than anything is just not knowing when I'll ever see my long distance girlfriend.  I mean, I know when I'm seeing her, she just booked a flight for next month, but back when we first started dating, when I was 16 and she was 17, we would see each other every 2-4 months or so , and we'd never really have more than a month when at least one of us didn't at least have our flight to see the other booked.  I live in Orange County and she lives in Toronto, so once covid started, and just as we got older and had way more responsibilities (we are 21 and 22 now), I've only spent time with her once since December of 2019, when I stayed at her house for 2 and a half months from November 14th of last year to January 31st.  During that whole near we didn't see each other though, we had no clue when the border bullshit would allow us to, and then again from when I left until she booked her flight last week.  She also is wanting to move in with me and has for a few years now, and is able to now that she just graduated university, but it's of course a lot harder of a decision for her to actually make rather than talk about, and I have no idea when she'll be ready to do it full time.  Good chance she looks for a job when she comes next month and hopefully finds something that enables her to stay here long term.  Either way it's just been a really stressful time for us which I feel has really contributed to it.  At least once she's here these feelings will likely be gone.

 

It sounds like a little too much of your life is up in the air right now.

[Tank]

17 hours ago, cals said:

I had the test where they stick a camera in your peehole.  

cytoscopy. i had one this week to remove two stints from my recent kidney stone surgery. the last time i had this done, the stints didn't come out very easily, so my anticipation for this one was horrible. fortunately, it went about as smoothly as could be. doctor was in and out in 90 seconds, and there really wasn't any pain. 

 

Edited August 20, 2021 by Tank

[Jason]

50 minutes ago, Tank said:

cytoscopy. i had one this week to remove two stints from my recent kidney stone surgery. the last time i had this done, the stints didn't come out very easily, so my anticipation for this one was horrible. fortunately, it went about as smoothly as could be. doctor was in and out in 90 seconds, and there really wasn't any pain. 

 

I’m going to mark this down in the column “things I want to avoid”

[Tank]

3 hours ago, cals said:

You don’t want to just sit back and really think about what it must feel like to have something as thick as a pencil forced inside of your pee hole?  Just stop what you’re doing and close your eyes and imagine a pencil.  Now imagine your penis and the little pee hole.  Now imagine the tissue around the pee hole being stretched uncomfortably as that pencil gets rammed in with force.  Just imagine it.

You’re welcome.

 

I appreciate that you didn’t say anything about the anesthesia.

[fan_since79]

On 8/19/2021 at 7:27 AM, tdawg87 said:

I need a colonoscopy but having severe anxiety makes me terrified.

I also need a sleep study (sleep apnea almost certainly) but it's the same thing. I ain't sleeping during that shit. 

Go get that colonoscopy. It's a breeze. You'll be sedated, will feel no pain, and won't remember a thing. Takes the doctor maybe 10 minutes to complete the procedure. The hardest part is the prep the night before, but if you stay close to the bathroom and follow the directions you'll be fine. When you drink that prep solution have a couple swigs of some sports water like Propel after each drink, it really helps to take the aftertaste away. 

I don't know anything about sleep apnea so can't comment on that.

[Tank]

I did a sleep study for apnea and it was very simple. This was thirty years ago so it’s likely a bit different now, but they hooked me up to several sensors similar to EKG leads all over my body, then I slept in a special room with a bed. The sensors measure all kinds of things and the doctor makes his diagnosis and recommendations based on that. They could even tell how many erections I had while sleeping, so if I were you, I’d avoid any Trout videos for a full 48 hours before. 

[AzadaliMali]

First off, big respect for opening up about your struggle with anxiety. It takes courage to share, and you're not alone. I've danced with anxiety, too, and it can be relentless. When those overwhelming thoughts hit, I use my medical cannabis card to buy some products for relief. So, try it, too!