Going on a date in a little bit

[Brandon]

But I got to take a mean shit. What’s the move?

Let it rip beforehand and go in with comfort but the potential of her smelling something similar to Auschwitz when we beat guts or tighten it up and risk the sweat beads on the forehead until the shit feeling passes and pray to God I don’t accidentally shart?

No baby wipes at the office and Vegas has me at -115 to get laid tonight with this one. 

What would you do?

[Blarg]

If you have any aspiration of getting laid think of the catastrophe that would play out if you either had to last second use the bathroom and stink bomb the entire room or worse yet blow a gasket mid thrust. 

Do it now, douche it with a wad of clean, wet TP and date with confidence. 

[failos]

That’s why I take pepto bismol before dates. I’m a real hit with the ladies, and I never need to take a shit when I’m with them.

[failos]

Go buy baby wipes you cretin

[gotbeer]

 

[Jason]

Updates?

[Brandon]

3 hours ago, Jason said:

Updates?

Held it in. It was lingering all day, but I knew if I pushed it would end up being like the Massacre of Praga. 
 

Called it an early night, so if you bet on the dog you made some change. She’s coming over this weekend, so Vegas pulled the line off the board.

I couldn’t get home fast enough though from Costa Mesa. I’m pretty sure I did some internal damage on the release.

[Redondo]

18 minutes ago, Brandon said:

Held it in. It was lingering all day, but I knew if I pushed it would end up being like the Massacre of Praga. 
 

Called it an early night, so if you bet on the dog you made some change. She’s coming over this weekend, so Vegas pulled the line off the board.

I couldn’t get home fast enough though from Costa Mesa. I’m pretty sure I did some internal damage on the release.

Home court advantage has its perks

[Angelsjunky]

I'm strangely horny.

[failos]

14 hours ago, Angelsjunky said:

I'm strangely horny.

Just realized—you’d probably be the jinxiest wing man—a walking cockblock of curse and misery.

[Tank]

9 hours ago, Φαήλος said:

Just realized—you’d probably be the jinxiest wing man—a walking cockblock of curse and misery.

so does this mean you aren't going to use him when you sing "you've lost that loving feeling" to the hot chick at the bar?

[failos]

11 hours ago, Tank said:

so does this mean you aren't going to use him when you sing "you've lost that loving feeling" to the hot chick at the bar?

Never ever. Just went out clubbing in OC with my broskis and they were great wingmen. AJ would mess things up to epic proportions. You wouldn’t though