How often do you have to rewipe after pooping?

[tdawg87]

I found a pretty good solution, albeit a small sample size.

So after I finish wiping, I stand up and squeeze my butt cheeks together as hard as possible which pinches out the last little bit of poop. Been working for 2 days. Will report back.

[Lou]

Damn, white people are fucked up

[Tank]

On 6/30/2019 at 7:39 AM, notherhalo said:

I havent been able to unload a solid dinger for 2 weeks.  I also feel bloated a bit.

Im working in central asia / eastern europe a few more weeks.   My Russian is too poor to have much of a dialogue with a doctor .  Whats a good European country to see a doctor, and is it OK to wait this thing out a little more?

If you can find it, try Smooth Move Tea. It’s pretty helpful for constipation.

[Angel Dog and Beer]

Finger up the butt to pull poop out? Do people really do this?

[Chuck]

There's nothing better than showing a cute elderly couple that were Angels fans visiting Seattle for the first time our forum and scrolling past "How often do you have to rewipe after pooping?" as a topic of conversation here. 

 

[the dude abides]

Curious to get the elderly gentleman's take on the subject.

[Amazing Larry]

Just buy some Depends and shit yourself. Later on you can take a swim in the local high school pool to clean off.

[the dude abides]

If it gets to round 4 of wiping, I’ll usually apply the manpon.  (Credit to @Brandon for beaut of a word).  

Though, lhalo’s method sounds pretty solid too.

[Tank]

5 hours ago, Lhalo said:

Just buy some Depends and shit yourself. Later on you can take a swim in the local high school pool to clean off.

That’s the kind of outside-of-the-box thinking that keeps us all coming back here.

 

[T.G.]

Some of you are really full of crap.

Then again... maybe not as often as some of you "go."

[LAAMike]

This question should be sent to MSNBC as it would be a great debate question.  It should probably be one of those "show of hands" questions so the candidates cannot weasel their way out later (unless you are Kamala Harris).  

[tdawg87]

Have at it, libs.

[LAAMike]

On ‎6‎/‎28‎/‎2019 at 10:43 PM, Ray McKigney said:

If you're at home, get in the shower and clean your ass. If you're at work, clean your ass in the sink. I don't think anyone will mind.

The latter is probably a little tricky unless your work has single occupant restrooms.  I do not think that I would try that option at Angel Stadium.  

[LAAMike]

On ‎7‎/‎2‎/‎2019 at 11:22 PM, Tank said:

That’s the kind of outside-of-the-box thinking that keeps us all coming back here.

 

Obviously this question does not lend itself to "one size fits all" solutions.  There are too many variables - are you at home, at work, at Angel Stadium, where a community pool isn't convenient or in an immigrant detention facility where the toilets might have to multitask.  If you are at home, you cannot go wrong with my routine - I wipe firmly three times and then I use my wife's Water Pik.  Works every time.  

[Make Angels Great Again]

Sometimes you have those ones where you know you can just get up and walk away. Cleaner than a Trout home run swing.

 

Other times it's like wiping mud out of a shag carpet.

[NJHalo]

Some input on the subject from the Howard Stern show

https://www.howardstern.com/news/2016/10/21/new-bathroom-survey-finds-flushable-wipes-and-once-day-morning-bowel-movements-popular-amongst-americans/

 

[Taylor]

On 7/3/2019 at 11:04 PM, LAAMike said:

This question should be sent to MSNBC as it would be a great debate question.  It should probably be one of those "show of hands" questions so the candidates cannot weasel their way out later (unless you are Kamala Harris).  

[Angelsjunky]

How much you poop is mostly about how much food you eat. If you poop 3x a day it probably means you're eating too much food. 

For most people 1x a day is ideal.

Too much food = fat people = pooping a lot = awkward pooping issues = not getting laid.

Moderate amounts of food = healthy people = pooping once a day = no pooping issues = greater probability of getting laid.

[Lou]

I just ate a couple of chili cheese dogs.

Announcement Forthcoming

[tdawg87]

22 minutes ago, Angelsjunky said:

How much you poop is mostly about how much food you eat. If you poop 3x a day it probably means you're eating too much food. 

For most people 1x a day is ideal.

Too much food = fat people = pooping a lot = awkward pooping issues = not getting laid.

Moderate amounts of food = healthy people = pooping once a day = no pooping issues = greater probability of getting laid.

Listen here you unremarkable dick weasel. You aren't even a doctor. You don't know what the F*ck you are even talking about so I suggest you shut down your computer, shut off your phone, and go F*ck yourself.

There is NO "correct" or "normal" way to poop, despite what some of you pussy-avoiders would like to spout off. Look it up, dick cheese. You won't find anything from anyone who isn't a literal c*nt that says "Well you see thin, healthy people only poop once a day because the less you eat the less you poop. It's just science he he he" *sniffs their own fart blast*. Everyone poops differently. I wouldn't expect a crotch rooster like you to understand that.

But hey, keep smelling your own farts and getting a boner because you can only achieve full sexual arousal upon the realization of your own misguided superiority over people you don't know over the internet. 

[Lou]

I just farted 

[Lou]

I'm really percolating now 

[the dude abides]

Do keep us updated!

perhaps we can open the game day chat.

[Lou]

still brewing

[UndertheHalo]

You goddamn savages.  Have you never heard of a bidet ?