T-Ball

[Spirit]

6 hours ago, Adam said:

The emails from parents.... shoot me 

 

"Hey Coach Adam,

Super happy you'll be leading the team this year.  Really looking forward to meeting you in person.  I'm Dan, father of Brock.  I know you haven't met Brock yet, but it won't take you long to figure out which one he is.  Hey coach ... you're welcome!

So, my wife Kimber Marie and I want to be as much of a help to you as we can.  Let's get some low hanging fruit out of the way.  Brock will be wearing number 27, pitching whenever he has innings available to him and spending the remainder of the time playing SS.  Figured it would be a help to be to tick those items off your list for you.  Hey coach ... you're welcome!

Cheers,

Dan"

 

 

[JAHV76]

Have fun it's a cool entry level and since they don't count score it doesn't matter at that age

[tdawg87]

28 minutes ago, Geoff said:

 

"Hey Coach Adam,

Super happy you'll be leading the team this year.  Really looking forward to meeting you in person.  I'm Dan, father of Brock.  I know you haven't met Brock yet, but it won't take you long to figure out which one he is.  Hey coach ... you're welcome!

So, my wife Kimber Marie and I want to be as much of a help to you as we can.  Let's get some low hanging fruit out of the way.  Brock will be wearing number 27, pitching whenever he has innings available to him and spending the remainder of the time playing SS.  Figured it would be a help to be to tick those items off your list for you.  Hey coach ... you're welcome!

Cheers,

Dan"

 

 

Dan prefers to be called "Mister"

[Spirit]

5 minutes ago, tdawg87 said:

Dan prefers to be called "Mister"

 

So does Brock

 

 

 

[Vegas Halo Fan]

57 minutes ago, Geoff said:

 

"Hey Coach Adam,

Super happy you'll be leading the team this year.  Really looking forward to meeting you in person.  I'm Dan, father of Brock.  I know you haven't met Brock yet, but it won't take you long to figure out which one he is.  Hey coach ... you're welcome!

So, my wife Kimber Marie and I want to be as much of a help to you as we can.  Let's get some low hanging fruit out of the way.  Brock will be wearing number 27, pitching whenever he has innings available to him and spending the remainder of the time playing SS.  Figured it would be a help to be to tick those items off your list for you.  Hey coach ... you're welcome!

Cheers,

Dan"

 

 

Holy..."Kimber Marie" was about all that I needed to read of this, and I could have filled in the rest from my imagination. Nice that he saved you the trouble of assigning his uniform number, his positions and the parameters of his play. As a coach, I'm sure that you were relieved to have that burden removed. Not that the kid was entitled, or that the parents fostered that...

The worst thing that I ever saw from parents was in youth football, those who believed that they ought to be calling the plays and deciding who was playing. My eldest stepson was on this team. The entire coaching staff attended coaching clinics at the University of Arkansas every summer at their own expense to learn from college coaches. Yet Joe Lunchpail, whose sole connection to football was sitting on the couch watching his bandwagon NFL team every Sunday, knew better.

[Adam]

57 minutes ago, Geoff said:

 

"Hey Coach Adam,

Super happy you'll be leading the team this year.  Really looking forward to meeting you in person.  I'm Dan, father of Brock.  I know you haven't met Brock yet, but it won't take you long to figure out which one he is.  Hey coach ... you're welcome!

So, my wife Kimber Marie and I want to be as much of a help to you as we can.  Let's get some low hanging fruit out of the way.  Brock will be wearing number 27, pitching whenever he has innings available to him and spending the remainder of the time playing SS.  Figured it would be a help to be to tick those items off your list for you.  Hey coach ... you're welcome!

Cheers,

Dan"

 

 

Pretty much verbatim

[Vegas Halo Fan]

Wow. That's pathetic. Another budding Bryce Harper, only probably without the skills.

[Spirit]

10 hours ago, Adam said:

Pretty much verbatim

 

My favorites are the parents who forget (?) to just reply to the coach on a team-wide email and send a message like that to the coach AND all the parents.  Yeah ... they're a big favorite in the stands at the games.

 

I ask ... no ... I insist that you post some of the better ones!  (I may change the names to protect the guilty, if you wish)

 

 

Edited February 5, 2017 by Geoff

[Adam]

It's tball and these parents are asking me what kind of gloves, cleats, helmets, bats, etc they should be buying.

I say "they're gonna outgrow this stuff so quickly so just get the best deals."

What I mean though is "our team MVP will be the first kid to throw the ball 8 feet. Don't overthink it."

[Spirit]

5 minutes ago, Adam said:

It's tball and these parents are asking me what kind of gloves, cleats, helmets, bats, etc they should be buying.

I say "they're gonna outgrow this stuff so quickly so just get the best deals."

What I mean though is "our team MVP will be the first kid to throw the ball 8 feet. Don't overthink it."

I think you should go the other way with it ...

 

"Dear Parents,

I'm getting a lot of questions about the types of gear that you should be buying your kids.  I think we need to be clearheaded and honest with ourselves here.  While some team's parents may be looking at this as gear and equipment that their children may outgrow before the end of the season, we realize that what we're doing is building champions.  They're our children today, but their the world's super stars tomorrow.  Let's not lose sight of that.

So, it is my recommendation that you each purchase the following for your kids...

• The Mike Trout Old Hickory signature bat.  Yes ... it's wood.  Most team's players will be using metal bats.  They'll be doing this primarily because they're weak and their kids enjoy the sound of a "ping!"  Not our warriors.  They'll be swinging wood bats at the Big A in a few years and they'll be swing wood bats this year at Chico Chavez Memorial Field and Splash Park.
• The Wilson A2K - I know some of you maybe looking at getting the A2000, and I guess that's fine.  I mean, I understand that we don't all love our children equally.  But my recommendation is the A2K.  They only run about $550 for the stock model, but of course I highly encourage everyone to customize the hell out of these bad boys.  Again, it will help you and your child remember to keep your eye on the prize!  (Side note:  Yes, I do expect that each player would purchase a separate glove of IF, OF, 1B and Catcher.)
• The NIKE FORCE ZOOM TROUT 3 - At only $140, these are probably the cheapest items on the list, so you might as well go ahead and buy 2 (one for home, and one for away games).  The lower price point will come in handy when your kid outgrows them after the 3rd game of the season.

I'm still researching getting customized team helmets and rolling baseball bags, so stay tuned for more on that.

All the best,

Coach Adam"

 

 

 

 

[Blarg]

Make sure to have a team doctor that recommends whey protein powder to build a strong core. If these kids don't have some abs showing by the end of the practice season they are bench sitters. 

[Adam]

Dear parents,

Since no one asked, I assume your kids are already on a pre-workout and creatine regimen. Remember, it's okay for them to use HGH. There is no testing at this level so save yourself a few bucks on masking agents.

God Bless,

Coach Adam

[Tank]

[Troll Daddy]

I was lucky enough to have two boys in Tball ... good memories but glad it's in the past. It gets a whole lot better as they get older. Enjoy every minute of your journey with your son. I'm having a blast! 

 

 

 

[Amazing Larry]

My advice to Adam:

Find the best player on the team and fire a fastball right into his ribs. It will send a message to the rest of the team that you're in charge and you're not taking shit from anyone. 

[JAHV76]

36 minutes ago, Lawrence said:

My advice to Adam:

Find the best player on the team and fire a fastball right into his ribs. It will send a message to the rest of the team that you're in charge and you're not taking shit from anyone. 

And if he cries tell him "There's no crying in Baseball."

[Adam]

Dear parents,

 

the league has a strict NO Tobacco policy.  I suggest you buy your child Copenhagen snuff. We will spend the first fifteen minutes of our first practice working on hiding the dip. Placing two smaller dips - one on each side of your lower mouth below the molars is preferred. This is known as the Estad Wedding technique.

[Amazing Larry]

My freshman science teacher was also my high school baseball coach. He spent half a class describing the importance of the anatomical snuffbox. I was dying laughing while all the asians took notes. 

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anatomical_snuffbox

[Spirit]

Dear T-Ball Moms,

Looking forward to the coming season.  If you'd like to ensure that your child plays the position of his choice and has a good slot in the batting order, please come see me.  I know we can work something out that will be a win / win.  

Love & kisses,

Coach Adam 

 

[NJHalo]

Coach Adam explains the infield fly rule

[AngelsLongBall]

3 hours ago, Tank said:

Wait wait wait. NOT a safe alternative to cigarettes? Dammit

[Vegas Halo Fan]

57 minutes ago, AngelsLongBall said:

Wait wait wait. NOT a safe alternative to cigarettes? Dammit

They just don't realize that you're not supposed to smoke it.

[Adam]

I'm so glad I got off the dip

[the dude abides]

54 minutes ago, Adam said:

I'm so glad I got off the dip

Glad to hear it!

fuck dip.

 

[the dude abides]

You should drink in the dugout, Morris Buttermaker style.