Co Worker Catastrophes

[tdawg87]

So I work for a company that helps people with developmental disabilities and brain injuries. They have homes and we help them in their every day lives.

Anyway there's this 24 year old chick who has been there for a couple weeks. She's maybe a 6 if you squint hard enough. Nice boobs, no ass. Kinda pimply. 

Anywho, it turns out she's been fuckin one of the clients since she started. She does the overnight shifts so no one would know. But the client bragged about it to everyone because, well....

The higher ups investigated it and found two pairs of panties in his room, which he apparently has been wearing. When questioned she just told them she felt bad and thought "these people deserve sex too". 

Needless to say, she no longer works here. Not sure if she got her panties back.

[cez]

i could share a story for pretty much every day i was in the marine corps.

now, the closest i get is seeing one of my coworkers on multiple anitdepressants standing in his room after classes end, and rubbing the back of his head against the wall with his eyes closed for 30+ minutes. 

[Tank]

4 hours ago, GOPSnowflakesHateCezero said:

i could share a story for pretty much every day i was in the marine corps.

now, the closest i get is seeing one of my coworkers on multiple anitdepressants standing in his room after classes end, and rubbing the back of his head against the wall with his eyes closed for 30+ minutes. 

does he have a bald spot from doing this?

[Schildog]

On 5/2/2019 at 7:23 PM, notherhalo said:

Some idiot in one of my offices gets in a sexual harassment predicament with every female employee that is there, but thanks to the "no retaliation" clause, we cant fire the guy, who seems certain to get in this kind of situation with every new girl that comes in.

I think your HR department has misinterpreted the no retaliation clause.

[the dude abides]

On ‎5‎/‎2‎/‎2019 at 8:58 PM, Tank said:

Too many of my coworkers will empty the Arrowhead water bottle and just walk away without changing it or asking for help.

these are generally the same people that use the last ream of copy paper without letting the secretary know it’s time to order more. They also leave the machine jammed or fail to tell the secretary when it’s out of staples. 

 

Sounds like you need Terry Tate as a front office consultant.

[Tank]

57 minutes ago, the dude abides said:

Sounds like you need Terry Tate as a front office consultant.

i don't know who that is, but if he can help, please put him in touch with me.

once that's settled, we can address the lugnuts who keep putting trash in the paper recycling box.

[T.G.]

 

Edited May 7, 2019 by True Grich

[Adam]

Tank doesn't own a television

[T.G.]

Just now, Adam said:

Tank doesn't own a television

and he doesn't eat meat. 

That just isn't living.

[Tank]

i've been too busy honing my golf game.

[Tank]

that was awesome. i'd hire him in a heartbeat.

[Vegas Halo Fan]

Working in prisons gives one a wealth of stupid stuff that coworkers and subordinates do.

- Two employees who married inmates, and a third who blew a 20-plus-year career by getting involved with one.

- An employee who ruined a 15-year career by finding a way around the agency's firewall and watching porn in his office for hours on end.

- An employee who ruined a ten-year career by giving nude pictures of herself to an inmate (these were found during a cell search).

- A correctional officer who was fired for bringing in marijuana and a cell phone to an inmate, who she was having sex with.

- An male officer who pimped a female officer to inmates and had the money sent to an outside account.

- An associate warden's wife who aided an inmate in escaping, and she left with him.

- A dental assistant who brought in CDs for her "favorite" inmate, and she was blackmailed into a sexual relationship.

- A correctional captain who was having sex with male inmates, and he was bringing in steaks for them.

- A physician who had child pornography on his work computer.

- A correctional officer who had child pornography on his home computer (his girlfriend found it and she turned him in to police; he did time in our system).

- A correctional nurse who developed a personal relationship with an inmate porter, who she allowed to call her at home.

- A correctional officer who was caught having sex with an inmate in a unit control room (which no inmates are supposed to ever enter).

- A correctional officer who brought in pillows and blankets and put two chairs together to sleep during night shift. He had an alarm clock to wake him for counts. One night he set it wrong and it didn't go off, which is how he was caught.

 

 

[Tank]

Vegas, those are all interesting but don’t really compare to finding the copier jammed or out of paper. Try again, buddy.

[ten ocho recon scout]

8 hours ago, Vegas Halo Fan said:

Working in prisons gives one a wealth of stupid stuff that coworkers and subordinates do.

- Two employees who married inmates, and a third who blew a 20-plus-year career by getting involved with one.

- An employee who ruined a 15-year career by finding a way around the agency's firewall and watching porn in his office for hours on end.

- An employee who ruined a ten-year career by giving nude pictures of herself to an inmate (these were found during a cell search).

- A correctional officer who was fired for bringing in marijuana and a cell phone to an inmate, who she was having sex with.

- An male officer who pimped a female officer to inmates and had the money sent to an outside account.

- An associate warden's wife who aided an inmate in escaping, and she left with him.

- A dental assistant who brought in CDs for her "favorite" inmate, and she was blackmailed into a sexual relationship.

- A correctional captain who was having sex with male inmates, and he was bringing in steaks for them.

- A physician who had child pornography on his work computer.

- A correctional officer who had child pornography on his home computer (his girlfriend found it and she turned him in to police; he did time in our system).

- A correctional nurse who developed a personal relationship with an inmate porter, who she allowed to call her at home.

- A correctional officer who was caught having sex with an inmate in a unit control room (which no inmates are supposed to ever enter).

- A correctional officer who brought in pillows and blankets and put two chairs together to sleep during night shift. He had an alarm clock to wake him for counts. One night he set it wrong and it didn't go off, which is how he was caught.

 

 

The last one sounds like every jail deputy.

The stories about COs and inmates messing around always blow me away. I guess since theyre around each other all the time things will happen. But thinking of the deputies at county messing around with inmates is alien to me. Guess its different in prison, same faces there longer.

[Brandon]

The male officer who pimped the female officer is a g.

[Vegas Halo Fan]

1 hour ago, Tank said:

Vegas, those are all interesting but don’t really compare to finding the copier jammed or out of paper. Try again, buddy.

I went into an Office Max to mail a package. Behind the counter was a high volume copier. On it was a sign that said, "This copier has been named Bob Marley, because it's always jammin'."

 I didn't have my phone with me to take a picture. Nice sign, had Marley's picture on it.

[Brandon]

I wish it read, "because it's always high"

[Angel Dog and Beer]

I had an instructor in College who told the class a great story about his first week at a high-profile Architecture office. He was tasked with preparing the project's final conceptual drawings for a big presentation they had with a prospective client that afternoon. Rushing, he got all the presentation boards together, and since they were all hand-drafted or drawn, he applied spray fixative on each of the boards to preserve the pencil and pen markings. After he did about 12 boards and stacked each one on top of the next, he noticed that he'd been spraying adhesive instead of fixative, and the stack of boards was now one giant mess completely stuck together. They tried to carefully separate the boards, but most of them were damaged beyond repair.  Needless to say, the work was ruined and the company didn't get the job.