Weekend shenanigans: Delayed edition

[DowningRules]

The weekend started off on the wrong foor by virtue of the calendar.  My wife's birthday was on Saturday, May 18, and I knew it would suck, but I wasn't prepared for just how much it would suck.  (For those wondering why I dwell on my wife in these posts, the 'Shenanigans' threads started because of her passing...I didn't -- and often still don't -- know what to do with the down time so I channel alot of it into words here).

 

My friend goes to wine tastings on most Fridays at Hi-Time liquor.  He's a combo of Alan from 'The Hangover,' part Steve Carell from 'The 40 Year Old Virgin' and a bunch of other characters from your favorite movies.  He's a dentist by trade, but hates his work mainly because he doesn't like the patients who complain about needing dental work.  A no-win situation. 

 

Anyhow, he's taken over a corner of the bar at the tasting for the last several years.  Like a pied-piper, he's gotten some of his fellow dentists to meet him there.  My friend is very particular about the music, so, since he now knows the dude who pours for the tasting, he forces his music tastes on everyone and has the wine tasting guy play discs he's burned:  Jethro Tull, Saga, pre-Phil Collins Genesis, Camel...your basic prog rock wine tasting fare.  There were enough complaints that my friends CDs were pulled off for a time, but now they're being eased back into rotation.  My friend plays Dungeons and Dragons some Friday nights with the pourer after the tasting.  Some of these sessions go well into 3 or 4am.

 

I had to see if for myself so I met my friend over there thinking it might be like a scene from Miami Vice.  It wasn't.  It was more like a Fleetwood Mac concert.  I was only there for about a half-hour but it felt good to get out of the house.  I was hoping I would stumble on a 'blind tasting' which happened a few weeks back.  It was literally a wine tasting for a group of blind people who like to try new things.  My friend was kicking himself later for handing out his card to them because he figured they wouldn't be able to read, so he wouldn't get any of their business.

 

I left the wine tasting with the burden of the weekend falling like the sun.  There are few lonelier places in the world then being the only passenger in your car on a Friday night with no where to go.  I thought about grabbing some dinner but my appetite dwindled as I drove.  I just kept driving.  Back and forth, here and there.  Even went to Von's.  I went in and setteled on a head of iceberg lettuce.  Did the self check out in a daze and made my way to my drive way where I just sat in the car for a while, listening to Thomas Dolby until it was dark.  "One of our submarines is missing..."  Indeed.

 

I watched some of the Angel game on tv and popped a xanax.  I knew I had to stay busy on Saturday, my wife's birthday, or I'd either be a basketcase or  take too much xanax or both.

 

Luckily, I was given some pretty choice seats for Saturday's Angel game.  I gave a couple to a friend who wanted to give them to his friend which was good.  I didn't really want to talk to anyone.  I chose to not give away the seat next to me so I could sit in solitude and just watch the game.  I think it's the quietest I've ever been at a game, and man is this the season for it.  Since I was by myself I pulled a major George Kostanza:  The people sitting near me bailed around the 5th inning.  They left a barely touched basket of peanuts and they were looking pretty good around the 7th.  So I went in.  I kind of pretended to reach for something under my seat and pulled those suckers my way.  Chowed through them pretty good.  Kept me from a $8 order of gooey nachos. 

 

You know what's remarkable?  People who wear sandals.  I went to use the loo at the stadium and the dude next to me was wearing sandals and all I could think of was that his feet must be getting nailed with the backsplash from my session.  I would swim in a pool of hand sanitizer if I wore sandals. 

 

After the game, I drove home and picked some roses from the garden and drove down to the ocean.  I thought the drive on Friday was lonely, but this was pretty bad too.  I threw the roses into the sea in the same spot where I put my wife's ashes.  Not something I'd want to do everyday, but I'm glad I did it.  Last year on her birthday I surprised her with a trip to Vegas which I'll always regret.  She was in between chemo treatments and I think she was a lot more uncomfortable than she would tell me.  She had a wound that had not healed properly and we spent her birthday night in the hospital after returning home.  I had a creeping feeling it would be her last birthday, and it was.  On the way to the beach, I drove by that hospital. 

 

I had made tentative plans to see my friend Tiny Rob who, as mentioned previously, had a stroke years ago and has had to live with his folks ever since, so I try to hang with him when I think of it.  He gets tired after about an hour so we're a good match. 

 

He lives not far from the water in Corona del Mar, and since the sun had just set, parking was a pain with all the people walking around with their families and cameras.  You can throw in a couple of Asian wedding photo sessions for good measure. 

 

Tiny and I went to a Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf where we drank coffee and made juvenile jokes about our friends and their various quirks (such as our dentist friend who has taken up a hobby of pickeling eggs).  We had a good laugh at just the right time.  Tiny's mom will drive you nuts when you see her.  She will ask you question after question and I started doing what Tiny does to his mom:  he just makes up the answers now.  "What's Kevin do for work these days"  'Oh, Kevin went back to school and wants to be a plastic surgeon, but it's expensive so he spends most of his time in Vegas trying to win poker tournaments.  He met a girl out there and he moved in with her.  His girlfriend has six kids so he's really busy...and we don't really talk any more.  I can't tell you much else about him" 

 

I had gotten texts and messages through the day from friends acknowledging my wife's birthday, including one from someone whom I'm a little disappointed with in that she pretty much disappeared after I gave her some of my wife's stuff.  It felt like she just wanted some nice things and that was that.

 

I ignored her call.  When I got home from Tiny Rob's it was late, which was the goal.  I didn't want to have idle time by myself at home.  I pulled up and there was something on the doorstep wrapped in foil.  I thought it was a chunk of lasagna from my neighbor, but there was a card on top.

 

I got it in the house and opened up the envelope to find a really nice card from my wife's friend, the one who disappeared.  Under the foil was a cake, made in honor of my wife's birthday.  It was a nice surprise.  Sad, but nice. 

 

Looking at my wife's picture makes me terribly sad, so I don't have one displayed in the living room which I'm sure some people think is odd.  But seeing her happy only reminds me of how much crap she had to endure.   For tonight, I took a photo and placed it prominently, lighting a candle next to it.  I had some of the birthday cake by the light of the candle.  No lights.  Just quiet.  Then I went to bed. 

 

Sunday was alot harder than it should've been.  My wife's mom wanted to go out to dinner in a low-key birthday celebration for my wife.  We went early hoping to avoid the crowds.  But that didn't happen.  We went to the Rusty Pelican which is where I met my wife.  It was full of graduation and birthday parties.  It was loud and rushed and exactly the kind of experience I didn't want to have.

 

I'm amazed at people in situations like this, though I'm the fool for expecting otherwise in the modern era.  While some people dressed up a little, there were plenty more who were just plain sloppy.  And slobby.  One dude came in with sandals and knee length Dickies shorts.  And an over-sized black t-shirt.  If you want to dress like you're going to a Doyyer game than go eat at a g'damn Doyyer game!  He had fat rolls on the back of his neck and was uber-excited when the 'cheesy garlic bread' was offered. 

 

I didn't feel good after the dinner.  It was all in my head, not in my stomach.  I came home and lit a candle and curled up in a fetal position on the couch.  This weekend sucked.

 

 

 

 

[Tyler]

You're due for another craigslist function.

[Lhalo]

Good read once again DR even though it wasn't all puppy dogs and rainbows. They say that time heals all wounds and I'm sure getting through a rough weekend like this can only make a person stronger. Good on you for keeping yourself busy and not falling into some dark hole at the bottom of a bottle or somewhere worse. Keep da faith brotha.

[mrwicked]

The weekend started off on the wrong foor by virtue of the calendar.  My wife's birthday was on Saturday, May 18, and I knew it would suck, but I wasn't prepared for just how much it would suck.  (For those wondering why I dwell on my wife in these posts, the 'Shenanigans' threads started because of her passing...I didn't -- and often still don't -- know what to do with the down time so I channel alot of it into words here).

 

My friend goes to wine tastings on most Fridays at Hi-Time liquor.  He's a combo of Alan from 'The Hangover,' part Steve Carell from 'The 40 Year Old Virgin' and a bunch of other characters from your favorite movies.  He's a dentist by trade, but hates his work mainly because he doesn't like the patients who complain about needing dental work.  A no-win situation. 

 

Anyhow, he's taken over a corner of the bar at the tasting for the last several years. Like a pied-piper he's gotten some of his fellow dentists to meet him there.  My friend is very particular about the music, so, since he now knows the dude who pours for the tasting, he forces his music tastes on everyone and has the wine tasting guy play discs he's burned:  Jethro Tull, Saga, pre-Phil Collins Genesis, Camel...your basic prog rock wine tasting fare.  There were enough complaints that my friends CDs were pulled off for a time, but now they're being eased back into rotation.  My friend plays Dungeons and Dragons some Friday nights with the pourer after the tasting.  Some of these sessions go well into 3 or 4am.

 

I had to see if for myself so I met my friend over there thinking it might be like a scene from Miami Vice.  It wasn't.  It was more like a Fleetwood Mac concert.  I was only there for about a half-hour but it felt good to get out of the house.  I was hoping I would stumble on a 'blind tasting' which happened a few weeks back.  It was literally a wine tasting for a group of blind people who like to try new things.  My friend was kicking himself later for handing out his card to them because he figured they wouldn't be able to read, so he wouldn't get any of their business.

 

I left the wine tasting with the burden of the weekend falling like the sun.  There are few lonelier places in the world then being the only passenger in your car on a Friday night with no where to go.  I thought about grabbing some dinner but my appetite dwindled as I drove.  I just kept driving.  Back and forth, here and there.  Even went to Von's.  I went in and setteled on a head of iceberg lettuce.  Did the self check out in a daze and made my way to my drive way where I just sat in the car for a while, listening to Thomas Dolby until it was dark.  "One of our submarines is missing..."  Indeed.

 

I watched some of the Angel game on tv and popped a xanax.  I knew I had to stay busy on Saturday, my wife's birthday, or I'd either be a basketcase or  take too much xanax or both.

 

Luckily, I was given some pretty choice seats for Saturday's Angel game.  I gave a couple to a friend who wanted to give them to his friend which was good.  I didn't really want to talk to anyone.  I chose to not give away the seat next to me so I could sit in solitude and just watch the game.  I think it's the quietest I've ever been at a game, and man is this the season for it.  Since I was by myself I pulled a major George Kostanza:  The people sitting near me bailed around the 5th inning.  They left a barely touched basket of peanuts and they were looking pretty good around the 7th.  So I went in.  I kind of pretended to reach for something under my seat and pulled those suckers my way.  Chowed through them pretty good.  Kept me from a $8 order of gooey nachos. 

 

You know what's remarkable?  People who wear sandals.  I went to use the loo at the stadium and the dude next to me was wearing sandals and all I could think of was that his feet must be getting nailed with the backsplash from my session.  I would swim in a pool of hand sanitizer if I wore sandals. 

 

After the game, I drove home and picked some roses from the garden and drove down to the ocean.  I thought the drive on Friday was lonely, but this was pretty bad too.  I threw the roses into the sea in the same spot where I put my wife's ashes.  Not something I'd want to do everyday, but I'm glad I did it.  Last year on her birthday I surprised her with a trip to Vegas which I'll always regret.  She was in between chemo treatments and I think she was a lot more uncomfortable than she would tell me.  She had a wound that had not healed properly and we spent her birthday night in the hospital after returning home.  I had a creeping feeling it would be her last birthday, and it was.  On the way to the beach, I drove by that hospital. 

 

I had made tentative plans to see my friend Tiny Rob who, as mentioned previously, had a stroke years ago and has had to live with his folks ever since, so I try to hang with him when I think of it.  He gets tired after about an hour so we're a good match. 

 

He lives not far from the water in Corona del Mar, and since the sun had just set, parking was a pain with all the people walking around with their families and cameras.  You can throw in a couple of Asian wedding photo sessions for good measure. 

 

Tiny and I went to a Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf where we drank coffee and made juvenile jokes about our friends and their various quirks (such as our dentist friend who has taken up a hobby of pickeling eggs).  We had a good laugh at just the right time.  Tiny's mom will drive you nuts when you see her.  She will ask you question after question and I started doing what Tiny does to his mom:  he just makes up the answers now.  "What's Kevin do for work these days"  'Oh, Kevin went back to school and wants to be a plastic surgeon, but it's expensive so he spends most of his time in Vegas trying to win poker tournaments.  He met a girl out there and he moved in with her.  His girlfriend has six kids so he's really busy...and we don't really talk any more.  I can't tell you much else about him" 

 

I had gotten texts and messages through the day from friends acknowledging my wife's birthday, including one from someone whom I'm a little disappointed with in that she pretty much disappeared after I gave her some of my wife's stuff.  It felt like she just wanted some nice things and that was that.

 

I ignored her call.  When I got home from Tiny Rob's it was late, which was the goal.  I didn't want to have idle time by myself at home.  I pulled up and there was something on the doorstep wrapped in foil.  I thought it was a chunk of lasagna from my neighbor, but there was a card on top.

 

I got it in the house and opened up the envelope to find a really nice card from my wife's friend, the one who disappeared.  Under the foil was a cake, made in honor of my wife's birthday.  It was a nice surprise.  Sad, but nice. 

 

Looking at my wife's picture makes me terribly sad, so I don't have one displayed in the living room which I'm sure some people think is odd.  But seeing her happy only reminds me of how much crap she had to endure.   For tonight, I took a photo and placed it prominently, lighting a candle next to it.  I had some of the birthday cake by the light of the candle.  No lights.  Just quiet.  Then I went to bed. 

 

Sunday was alot harder than it should've been.  My wife's mom wanted to go out to dinner in a low-key birthday celebration for my wife.  We went early hoping to avoid the crowds.  But that didn't happen.  We went to the Rusty Pelican which is where I met my wife.  It was full of graduation and birthday parties.  It was loud and rushed and exactly the kind of experience I didn't want to have.

 

I'm amazed at people in situations like this, though I'm the fool for expecting otherwise in the modern era.  While some people dressed up a little, there were plenty more who were just plain sloppy.  And slobby.  One dude came in with sandals and knee length Dickies shorts.  And an over-sized black t-shirt.  If you want to dress like you're going to a Doyyer game than go eat at a g'damn Doyyer game!  He had fat rolls on the back of his neck and was uber-excited when the 'cheesy garlic bread' was offered. 

 

I didn't feel good after the dinner.  It was all in my head, not in my stomach.  I came home and lit a candle and curled up in a fetal position on the couch.  This weekend sucked.

 

led rats through the street

we dance like marionettes

swayin' to the symphony....

OF DESTRUCTION!

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QtPQ_QJpFIU

[Tank]

DR, if you don't have any plans this weekend, you're welcome to join me and my family for a bbq on monday. we'd love to have you come over.

 

i'll even grill some meat for you, if you like. send me a pm if you're interested.

[DowningRules]

led rats through the street

we dance like marionettes

swayin' to the symphony....

OF DESTRUCTION!

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QtPQ_QJpFIU

 

 

I was gonna say, this is a long way to go for a 'pied-piper' reference, but luckily I reminded myself how I can weave a Miami Vice mention into just about anything before saying so. 

[Vegas Halo Fan]

Sorry about your weekend. Anniversaries are always tough after something like this happens. Always a great read, though. I have a buddy who lost his wife to cancer about two years ago, and her birthday was about two weeks ago. I commiserated with him for a while, seemed to help him a bit.