What's your latest stupid minor injury?

[Glen]

If you follow me on FB you know I live in the mountains in the high desert, on a dirt road. On Thursday I'd scheduled with the trash company to pick up an old mattress and they said the time frame was 6am-6pm. 

Wednesday night I worked until 1130pm. Didn't get to sleep until about 2 am. At around 6:45 am the sound of a truck penetrated my sleeping brain. I jumped up and threw on some shorts and waved through the blinds on the screen door, hoping to get the attention of the truck driver because I hadn't put the mattress out yet. No dice but I thought I could catch him on the return. I put on a shirt and flip flops, ran outside, and started flipping the mattress over like a strongman flipping a tire, to get it where the truck could pick up the mattress. While doing that I stubbed the fuck out of my big toe on a rock, took a huge chunk out of it. Lots of blood, had to throw the flip flips away. 

The truck never came back. Had to call the trash company again to have them swing by that afternoon to get it. Toe still hurts and I'll be wearing a bandage until it heals.

[Adam]

I was working Thursday morning early. I had a few things to get done. At around a quarter to seven I pull up to a customers house to pick up a mattress out in BFE. It isn't there so I begin to drive away. The dude who lived there comes running out wearing some shorts, flip flops and a women's bra (b cup) trying to get his blood stained mattress (looks like a murder happened on it.) anyway I keep driving but dude smashes the everliving out of his toe and starts crying like a girl. I laughed so hard that I pulled my oblique.

[Glen]

I'm at least a c cup.

[Adam]

That's why I was laughing so hard

[Adam]

 In all seriousness I have hurt my back sneezing

[gotbeer]

I woke up today.  Reached over for my phone.  And pulled something fierce in my left arm.  It actually still hurts.  If I was a baseball player, would probably have to go on the DL.  Getting old is a bitch. 

[Blarg]

When I was in High School I shattered my foot (long story and the root cause was stupidity) and ended up in a cast that allowed my toes to wiggle. A few days later the phone rang and I get out of bed and try to hop over to pick it up and my big toe snags on my pants leg. I go down in agony but still crawl to the phone and answer just in time to hear a dial tone.

The next week I go back in for x-rays to see if the original broken bones are mending or if I required surgery. They cut off the cast, do the x-rays and the doctor comes back and asks if I've been punting a football.

My trip broke the big toe and doc decided I deserved him resetting it without painkillers before he put a new cast on. It enclosed everything like a ski boot. 

 

[tdawg87]

I have IBS and my shits have been extra solid lately so I tore a fissure in my asshole. 

Maroon is a weird color to see on toilet paper btw.

[Homebrewer]

35 minutes ago, tdawg87 said:

I have IBS and my shits have been extra solid lately so I tore a fissure in my asshole. 

Maroon is a weird color to see on toilet paper btw.

photos please.

[tdawg87]

I believe Glen has the most recent pics of my asshole so he should be able to pm you.

[Kevin]

So that was the bloodstain on Glen's mattress Adam was talking about. 

Mystery solved. For a moment I thought it was from the dead body Glen "found."

[tdawg87]

It was both, actually.

It was a crazy Thanksgiving.

[Spirit]

3 hours ago, Adam said:

 In all seriousness I have hurt my back sneezing

 

I'm glad I'm not the only one who's had this happen to them.

 

 

 

[Vegas Halo Fan]

I once strained my back standing up from a chair. Got about halfway up, a back spasm hit me and I and could neither straighten up nor sit back down. Managed to make it to the front desk and told the receptionist that I was going to the doctor's office, somehow managed to get into my car ('88 Ford Escort two-door) and get to the office. Wound up in physical therapy for six weeks.

[Slegnaac]

I almost died laughing at Adam"s post, does that count. 

[Homebrewer]

5 hours ago, tdawg87 said:

I believe Glen has the most recent pics of my asshole so he should be able to pm you.

The maroon TP, not your asshole.

[tdawg87]

Eww that's disgusting 

[Homebrewer]

16 minutes ago, tdawg87 said:

Eww that's disgusting 

The definition of maroon is often a judgement call.

[Blarg]

I prefer the Songs About Jane album as the definition of the bands high point.

 

[tdawg87]

That's what you get for being homosexual.

Face!

[Adam]

Lol

[Adam]

9 hours ago, cezero said:

Every other week, I wake up with something hurting for absolutely no reason. Last week, I woke up, and my left leg just gave out on me. Something with my ankle/shin just locked up.  Happens all the time now, which fucking sucks. For the past few years, I've keep a big bag of ice and a bucket to unlock my joints when this happens. I eat well, and work out 4 days a week. It just doesn't matter when you hit 38 or so. Youth is wasted on the young. 

I've put on about 60 LBs since my first kid was born and I haven't experienced this. We are roughly the same age. I did have some back issues from God knows what but that's getting better. I don't get the random pains but It's becoming increasingly difficult for me to sleep through the night without having to get up to take a piss. Also, for no reason at all I've begun saying things like "for heaven's sake" and "let's diversify our post-tax investments." So yeah,  aging blows