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The Angels Don't have a Bullpen, they have a Joe Smith. (Rant)


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There is nothing more rage inducing than the acquisitions and decisions this team makes for the bullpen. Are they still oblivious to its importance? Or do they think mr. career 12.00ERA will magically throw scoreless late innings as he dons the magical uniform. Anything is better than a tactic I fear they employ: throw enough shit until it magically transforms into a well oiled machine with cogs and synchronization. That approach along with the others this organization never ceases to improve upon is reckless and careless and more in line with the Astros or Marlins who don't necearilly worry about every single loss. This team just risks throwing in a career batting cage machine and gives up 5 runs in no time. Why did the fool who signed him ever expect anything differently? DiPoto needs to end this campaign of signing the bottom rung hoping to discover a diamond in a rough. These guys are abysmal, and they will never cease that poor play because they've done so their entire careers. They display no talent, and no team in existence can even be bothered to search their name because of their lackluster skills. Why are the Angels swooping in and signing goat herders like Josh Wall who shouldn't even pitch for the Astros? This team has serious issues when decisions like that are considered. 



The existing bullpen is a pack of suicide bombers with more than one bomb and and propensity to implode an entire game, series, or season with less than 20 pitches.  Smith is the only guy who can be depended on to not screw up. His compatriots, however,  guys have all the tools needed to lose a game in the most imaginative ways. For example, Frieri has the ability to blow every single game he appears in because he's just that kind of dude. He does it consistently and I've seen in person countless times. Frieri pisses me off because he has the capacity to become great. Instead his continues remaining a predictable oaf that embarrasses the team more often than not.  Everyone knows when Frieri is about to blow a game with his single shitty pitch. Boy you sure got him there, I'm glad you took your time throwing that one. I bet it was hard deciding between fastball or fastball. Good thing you talked it over with your pitching coach. Why would a pitcher have one pitch? It's like having one testicle....don't be that guy, Frieri and grow another ball for all our sakes. Jesus, why hasn't he nailed down pitch 2. mind blowing and irritating.


Regardless, he cannot be depended on in any capacity. He is no closer, and he will never be when every out is a chore and he screws up what every fought hard for in the previous 8 innings. I am always dying when this guy makes everyone curse the 3 damned outs he is paid to screw up. There's always fear, because once you think it's ok to stop worrying, he'll throw a stupid fastball down the pipe and up turns into a frozen garden gnome realizing the screw up but repeating the very next pitch. It's best to stop watching before he begins his walk of shame to repeating the same shaming in bunches from weak mental strength. I become a nervous wreck when this video game throws out his one pitch. 



Kohn. He's great spending all 8 innings on his ass only to spend 20 pitches loading the bases and returning to his seat and grinning at how it's still warm.  If I was part of the front office, I'd already pre-type the press release for his inevitable DFA just so no more time is wasted on this guy


Jepsen....forget about it. This guy's been on the team for 20 years because he...is good at blackmail maybe?  I fool myself in believe that this, historically inept team, didn't  purposefully waste resources and millions on this stump for more than 10 years.


I suspect he stayed on so long by slipping through the cracks and using via generic white dude camoflauge looks so he blends into the multitude of identically looking white dudes in Orange County. Arte may have been trying to shit can the dude for a decade but who the F is Kevin Jepsen anyways ?  Who knows, Very clever though. Almost like Costanza on Seinfeld. Seriously, though this guy shouldn't even touch the ball. I'd hesitate letting him throw out the first pitch let alone to an actually batter. I question the Angels' competence for paying this profoundly useless creature so much money this year rather than tossing him for a real arm or putting that money towards coke and hookers: far better use of $$ then Jepsen. He's a decent joke character for the purposes of this forum, though....so his salary might have marginal justification. 


Nameless Sweaty Slob with a douche side cap- nobody who screws everything up to Dipoto's bewilderment.


Perpetually Injured Rich Douche 1 of 3- No name dropping here, but it's embarrassing to continue to hear about this waste of breathe. The Angels are a shit acquiring bullpen team, and when they're willing to dish out for some quality bullpen arms they over spend on 3 permanently disabled jokers who suffer from unfulfilled promises, waste of every resource even oxygen breathed or water fluxed  and denial. Drop this cretin and stick to terrible no names with ticking time bombs on their face and butt (to prevent coaches from slapping). 






The point here is that the Angels continue to hoard worthless garbage with the hopes that their dead pathetic careers can suddenly turn around once they wear the magical Angels uniform. Guys like Josh Wall have no problems getting a spot on the team, and instead of trying to correct his god awful career and let him develop, they expedite his uniform and give him the ball before he even knows the catcher's name.


Josh Wall and everyone like him self immolate for the world on TV and take their team with them too. slowly killing any chance to make the playoffs. Why is DiPoto and Scioscia reckless in giving any chucker a spot on the team and too many looks in high leverage situations.  Scioscia gives these immolators too much playing time and they use that time to lose games surprising only the morons who insisted on signing someone who nobody ever wanted. This is a good team being poisoned by too much playing time given to no skilled  losers with unfathomably wonky ERAs and stats (12.00ERA for Josh Wall's career). This team keeps killing team chemistry and experimenting every minute aspect ensuring 0 cohesiveness and a quality team sabotaged by A league pitchers who will never cease to implode this team. Their presence is a disgrace. Can anyone be a part of the Angels now? Even little league teams have better standards than that.  


Oh yeah, and keep making our heads spin by giving that piece of shit a chance to predictably give up 5 ER immediately after he was signed (brilliant idea, btw, signing a worse turd than anyone every imagined). Someone needs to get canned just for coming up with the idea of signing this worthless reliever. This shit stain gets the red carpet while Jeremy Berg wastes his 20s in Salt Lake. Dipshit reasoning across all categories, and I don't even know who to blame. He'll probably be traded for some useless Freesian player since we can't keep young guys on this team without shipping them off. 


The Angels have immense quality and potential and they are ideal on paper. It's like transforming yourself to a ladies man. You focus on becoming tall dark and handsome educated and believe you've constructed a man and image that irresistible to women–except, you overlooked your sad two inch penis negating even perfect looks, wealth and personality. A shriveled 2 incher will get you no ladies. Just like our bullpen of 2 inches and shriveling. Forget Trout, Pujols, even Miguel Cabrera and 2 other all stars. A team lives and dies with the bullpen. There will be no winning until it's properly addressed. 


Does Dipoto and co lack foresight, do they even give a shit if this team wins or loses? It's mind numbing and illogical. No money for relievers perhaps? Then why bother perfecting everything else. Throwing rancid shit at the pen isn't doing anything productive. 


Edited by failos
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I've read this in the Gameday Rant thread several times and in other bullpen threads.

Copy and paste your bullpen post in another similar thread from this past week, minus the idiotic closing take.

Besides Josh Wall and Kevin Jepsen I don't understand your rant here, especially after a solid win last night.

Your comments about Dipoto and Arte not giving a shit is ridiculous. Definitely not in line with the "New Experience" for our members and viewers.

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