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Ask a trans woman


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Hey all, I'm probably being dumb by revealing this, but I don't know any of you in real life, so what the hell. I'm transgender, and I've gotten the impression from this board that maybe the folk here don't actually know all that much about transgender people. So if anyone cares at all, I'll be here to answer questions you have that I feel are made in good faith. And any ribbing that I feel is good natured is fine too, but I'll be ignoring everything else entirely.

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How old were you when you knew you were born the wrong sex?  

How old were you when you told your family?

How old were you when you started taking hormone therapy?

How difficult was it going through the change and the hormones?

Did you lose any friends or family over the change?

What pronoun do you prefer?

Are you dating a man or a woman?  Or are you married?  

As a transgender woman do you dress as a woman all the time?  

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41 minutes ago, Stradling said:

How old were you when you knew you were born the wrong sex?  

How old were you when you told your family?

How old were you when you started taking hormone therapy?

How difficult was it going through the change and the hormones?

Did you lose any friends or family over the change?

What pronoun do you prefer?

Are you dating a man or a woman?  Or are you married?  

As a transgender woman do you dress as a woman all the time?  

All excellent questions.

1.) I didn't realize until later. I was 29 when I first started questioning, went through a pretty bad phase of denial, I wouldn't stop thinking about all the changes I could get physically and mentally, then I started remembering all the things I did that were clear signs over the course of my life. I felt like an idiot for not figuring it out sooner. 

2.) I was just about 32 when I came out.

3.) I was 31 when I started hormones, it all happened very fast. .

4.) Hormones have been relatively easy for me. Felt right from the very beginning and has only served me well since. It's been a lot easier for me to get my emotions out and not bottle them up, I cry easier. I get more mood swings though, and it's harder to keep off weight. My sex drive has plummeted, but I don't miss it.

5.) No, I didn't lose any family. I don't really have much close family outside my immediate family. My mom was very confused at first but now she's very supportive, my sister has seemed fine with it (she doesn't open up about stuff), my brother was extremely supportive, and my dad was really disappointed and he said some really hurtful things but he's come a long way since and we're amicable around each other now. He supports me in his own way. I didn't have many friends, but my one main friend from high school seemed fine about it but he avoids talking about it. 

6.) She/her/hers

7.) I'm with a woman, but we're not married. 

8.) Well sometimes there isn't a big difference between men's clothes and women's clothes, but ultimately yeah, I present as a woman full time. In the first few months of going full time, I dressed as a man twice: Once for the benefit of my dad, and second when I went to a swimming pool at the gym, and that was a mistake. There was a thing several months ago where I was feeling very dysphoric and self-hatey and I was trying to convince my gf I looked like a man, so I dressed in the most masculine clothes I had and needless to say, she wasn't convinced.

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49 minutes ago, Angels Never Die said:

All excellent questions.

1.) I didn't realize until later. I was 29 when I first started questioning, went through a pretty bad phase of denial, I wouldn't stop thinking about all the changes I could get physically and mentally, then I started remembering all the things I did that were clear signs over the course of my life. I felt like an idiot for not figuring it out sooner. 

2.) I was just about 32 when I came out.

3.) I was 31 when I started hormones, it all happened very fast. .

4.) Hormones have been relatively easy for me. Felt right from the very beginning and has only served me well since. It's been a lot easier for me to get my emotions out and not bottle them up, I cry easier. I get more mood swings though, and it's harder to keep off weight. My sex drive has plummeted, but I don't miss it.

5.) No, I didn't lose any family. I don't really have much close family outside my immediate family. My mom was very confused at first but now she's very supportive, my sister has seemed fine with it (she doesn't open up about stuff), my brother was extremely supportive, and my dad was really disappointed and he said some really hurtful things but he's come a long way since and we're amicable around each other now. He supports me in his own way. I didn't have many friends, but my one main friend from high school seemed fine about it but he avoids talking about it. 

6.) She/her/hers

7.) I'm with a woman, but we're not married. 

8.) Well sometimes there isn't a big difference between men's clothes and women's clothes, but ultimately yeah, I present as a woman full time. In the first few months of going full time, I dressed as a man twice: Once for the benefit of my dad, and second when I went to a swimming pool at the gym, and that was a mistake. There was a thing several months ago where I was feeling very dysphoric and self-hatey and I was trying to convince my gf I looked like a man, so I dressed in the most masculine clothes I had and needless to say, she wasn't convinced.

Is this in some way connected to your disappointment in getting circumcised as a baby? I remember (IIRC) we had a thread about that

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11 minutes ago, AngelsLongBall said:

Is this in some way connected to your disappointment in getting circumcised as a baby? I remember (IIRC) we had a thread about that

Holy shit, you have a good memory. The answer is not really, I've been able to personally move on from it since then, with I think the help of transition. I'm still upset it happened though, especially since I would've had more tissue for my surgery.

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18 minutes ago, Angels Never Die said:

Holy shit, you have a good memory. The answer is not really, I've been able to personally move on from it since then, with I think the help of transition. I'm still upset it happened though, especially since I would've had more tissue for my surgery.

Did you ever hook up with sneakyflute?  

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4 minutes ago, gotbeer said:

Which bathroom do you use?  Ever get weird stares using it?

Won't you miss pissing standing up and wherever you want?  

Only women's. I don't really notice any stares in the bathroom. Usually no one cares to even look at other people in the bathroom.

I might, but I gotta grow up sometime 😝

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How do you feel about transgender women who still have most of the physical characteristics of a biological male, including muscle mass, competing against biological females in sports?

How confident are you in your feelings? Are you concerned you may regret reassignment surgery?

Do you feel the transgender population comprises a larger percentage of the population than common belief? 

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I presume you are physically attracted to women. Will that change at all with your transition?


How is your girlfriend handling your transition? I presume she was with you before you came out. Will she stay with you during/after the transition? 

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1 hour ago, wopphil said:

How do you feel about transgender women who still have most of the physical characteristics of a biological male, including muscle mass, competing against biological females in sports?

How confident are you in your feelings? Are you concerned you may regret reassignment surgery?

Do you feel the transgender population comprises a larger percentage of the population than common belief? 

I've heard different things about what the body facts and performance facts are, so I don't know how unfair it is. Do I care? Meh, not really sure I do. I just don't feel like sports are very fair, if you're going to break it down to physical/athleticism like that. Look at Shaq in his athletic prime, no one could compare to him in terms of physical ability, similar to LeBron in his prime. So much about an athlete is out of their control and has nothing to do with anything other than luck of birth. I do get that it might have the potential to really mess with competitive balance, I honestly don't know and wouldn't even know where to start in order to break it down.

Pretty darn confident. I think anyone choosing the option of major surgery fear maybe regretting it when it's all said and done. Some are disappointed in their results, but that doesn't seem to be the norm by any means. 

Most likely. I think any population of people that fear prejudice from society will almost always be undercounted.

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1 hour ago, wopphil said:

I presume you are physically attracted to women. Will that change at all with your transition?


How is your girlfriend handling your transition? I presume she was with you before you came out. Will she stay with you during/after the transition? 

Yeah, I'm into women, cis and trans. I don't think it will change. 

I met her after actually. She's absolutely fine with my transition.

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maybe this is a dumb question, but Im serious

If an dude (generally athletes) can take male hormones and become more "manly" (in the sense of things like hair, muscles, etc)

and a male can take female hormones to become more womanly (and vice versa)

 

Can a woman take female hormones to become more feminine?  (more than just emotional, but physical)

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