I love spam

[mp170.6]

Sometimes spam provides a much needed laugh...

 

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L.A.X AIRPORT SECURITY
Los Angeles International Airport (LAX)
1 World Way, Los Angeles, CA 90045, United States


ATTENTION:Notice On Your Consignment Box reg #: JG1N8875BS.

Today we have discovered an abandoned metal suitcase with reg code#:JG1N8875BS originally scheduled to be delivered to you by the agency foreign payment service New York.
This Suitcase is a metal box when scanned by a forensicscanner was revealed to contain 100 dollars bills valued $2,316,000USD(Two Million, Three Hundred and Sixteen thousand United States dollars) whichhas been under Security survaell ance for a number of days now.

I am writing to inform you that we have investigated the said Suitcase and the investigation proved the legitimacy of its content. Note, The Funds which belongs to you was initially scheduled for delivery to your residense, The Diplomatwho arrived with the Consignment made several attempts to reach you all efforts proved abortive so he decided to leave for his country but before he left he settled the delivery charges and left the Storage Keeping Charges unpaid due to the reasons that he did not know when you will attempt to claim the consignmentand the Cargo and Storage Unit charges $20.00 for each day the Consignment box stays in their custody for its safety keeping.

You are therefore advised to make contact with Mr.Jenner Elba of All American Courier, llc, a U.S Customs Broker to assist you recover your
Consignment box and deliver it to your home. You may contact him through his email:(allamericandeliveryagent@gmail.com) to recover your Consignment or
we will be compelled to list your Fund as an unclaimed consignment and maybe forfeited and moved to the United States Treasury Department for holding\

God Bless

Sincerely,
Jenna Elba
All american courier...........
Director of Delivery Operations

 

[Blarg]

Dear Jenna,

I left the suitcase because the feds were locking down the terminal looking for drug smugglers. Not that I had anything to do with one if the largest shipments to move through LAX since the the Mefusto Cartel was broken up (rip Vinnie Toscano) but you can see how it would look if they found $2,360,087 dollars in a suitcase.

That money was earmarked for the Roger Mahoney shelter for boys. It would have been tied up in the courts for years and young boys would go without food, shelter, counseling and gladiator movies. You can see the urgency to retrieve it.

Please send me the $87 so I can check the serial numbers to insure we have the right suitcase. You didn't spend the $87 dollars, did you? God would be very upset.

Sincerely,

Floplag

Edited February 23, 2016 by notti

[nate]

I love the forensic scanner that could see through a metal box.

[Schildog]

mr. jenner elba... then signed jenna elba.

[Blarg]

He did a sex change during the reply and knew Caitlyn was already taken.

[gotbeer]

Phew.  I'm glad someone found my $2.3 million.  I've been looking everywhere for it.  For a while there, I thought that Arturo guy took it and spent it overseas.  Guess he couldn't guess my suitcase combination.

[Blarg]

You mean over the seas as in yacht fuel.

[Tank]

one of my parents works security at LAX. I'll just tell him to go pick it up for me.

[nate]

You should just be relieved they didn't find the briefcase of coke you lost.

[mp170.6]

I love the forensic scanner that could see through a metal box.

 

Not only that, the forensic scanner was able to count "100 dollars bills valued $2,316,000USD"

 

lol

[Redondo]

  Guess he couldn't guess my suitcase combination.

 

[gotbeer]

You should just be relieved they didn't find the briefcase of coke you lost.

 

Shh.  Me and Josh call it Spring Training Equipment.