Cdaniel

Great post! 

Hint: you're using it right now

He massages my balls like a Vietnamese masseuse.

So you're saying my wife is a troll?

I just measured my dick and it's 2.78 inches

If only the Angels got lucky and had pitchers like Shoemaker and Richards....

How about you just type that about 10 more times to get it out of your system?  

Taylor Ward: .290/.360/.515
you heard it here first. 

He'd be lower-to-mid rotation depth with 2 years left of control but, based on his last few seasons, not sure how much of a difference maker he is:

He's teased with talent at times but I'm not sure I'd give up a lot more than Rengifo for him.

Not living that one down anytime soon i guess... meh, have at it 

If we score 900 runs this year I'm going to print out the stat list and nut on it.

I'm sick of bemoaning the rotation, so I thought I'd take a stab at predicting the lineup's production for 2020, a far more optimistic endeavor. These predictions are just eyeballing it, veering a bit on the optimistic side, but all based upon age-related trajectories. Meaning, this is how things very well could look with a bit of luck.
 
UT David FLETCHER: 155 games, .302/.371/.404, 7 HR, 10 SB,  4.1 WAR. As I said in another thread, replace 20 outs with 10  hits and 10  walks and you get .310/.380/.400...I'll be a bit more moderate, but still see continued improvement and his first of several .300 BA seasons.
CF MIKE TROUT: 151 games, .304/.448/.652, 50 HR, 15 SB, 10.1 WAR. Despite the fact that in December the very astute Tony Blengino wrote an article predicting that Trout's best days are behind him, I'm  going to have faith that the wunderkind will continue  to adjust and, at worst, continue his offensive plateau of the last few years. Plus, there's that career worst .298 BABIP last year. But my biggest concern is his penchant for injury. I'm obviously veering on the side of optimism by predicting his first season of 150+ games since 2016.
3B ANTHONY RENDON: 144 games, .314/.408/.577, 30 HR, 6.6 WAR. No decline here. We're about to see some of the best non-Trout Angels seasons in franchise history.
LF JUSTIN UPTON: 138 games, .258/.340/.472, 31 HR, 3.0 WAR. A solid bounceback campaign.
DH SHOHEI OHTANI: 111 games, .291/.352/.574, 28 HR, 3.1 WAR. The power will be back and then some. 
SS ANDRELTON SIMMONS: 141 games, .281/.333/.402, 12 HR, 4.5 WAR. He'll bounce back, but not quite to 2019 level.
RF JO ADELL: 102 games, .252/.314/.458, 20 HR, 2.1 WAR. A solid rookie season for Adell. He'll have his struggles and be streaky, but will flash the potential that will see him become a star in 2021.
1B ALBERT PUJOLS: 99 games, .237/.290/.418, 15 HR, -0.5 WAR.  "The bell tolls for thee, Albert..." We're going to see a reduction in starts and more pinch-hitting opportunities. 
C JASON CASTRO: 108 games, .233/.328/.417, 12 HR, 2.2 WAR. More of the same.
Others:
IF TOMMY LaSTELLA: 119 games, .282/.344/.467, 19 HR, 2.7 WAR. One of the hardest to predict, both in terms of playing time, performance, and as a possible trade candidate at the deadline if the Angels struggle and/or Rengifo breaks through. My prediction is if he plays the whole year as an Angel, but I see a high chance of trade.
OF BRIAN GOODWIN: 102 games, .256/.317/.442, 14 HR, 1.2 WAR. Not bad, but he'll lose time to Adell and maybe Marsh, and probably be traded. Like LaStella, this projection is based upon a full season with the Angels.
1B/DH MATT THAISS: 92 games, .258/.333/.447, 16 HR, 1.3 WAR. He's going to quietly sneak up and steal time from Pujols, and fill in at DH as necessary. 
IF LUIS RENGIFO: 91 games, .251/.337/.387, 7 HR, 1.4 WAR. Impossible to predict. I suspect he's going to surprise many, but maybe not in 2020 due to limited opportunities.
OF BRANDON MARSH: 58 games, .271/.346/.428, 7 HR, 1.4 WAR. He'll have a less steep learning curve than Adell and will be firmly ensconced as the 4th outfielder by August.

Clod just came

Right and I'm going to lose 100 pounds and get laid.

We usually see what we want to see.

And we have fans who don’t like Eppler.  

Heaney, Canning, Bundy - each win at least 15 games
Heaney and Canning will have a low 3 ERA - lets say 3.25
Ohtani will have a 2.5 ERA
Angels will hit over 245 HR's
Angels win the West

Heaney, Canning, Bundy - each win at least 15 games
Heaney and Canning will have a low 3 ERA - lets say 3.25
Ohtani will have a 2.5 ERA
Angels will hit over 245 HR's
Angels win the West

IMHO, Eppler has done a great job while being handicapped by Arte's past poor contract decisions and strange penny pinching rules.   Arte will spend huge money on high PR moves like Pujols, Trout and Rendon....then go into rigid self-imposed budget lockdown for lesser deals...forcing his GM to dumpster dive.    If Eppler gets fired, good luck finding a top rate GM who will want to take his place. 

"i'm working on some deals in secret so that Arte doesn't interfere"

Matt Harvey

Grades create unnecessary anxiety for everyone inlvolved. I suggest forming a gratitude circle to express our true thoughts in a safe and nurturing environment. 

The more I think about it the more this one hurts. I was more than prepared to move into Spring Training with the team we had before this trade happened. I really believed with our roster we would be wild card contenders.Then the trade news got out and I got to thinking how much more dynamic our offense would be with Joc in the lineup and Stripling breaking out as a full-time starting pitcher (also adding in another prospect in Pages). This move would have pushed us to at the very least wild-card favorites. Then to have that all taken away..... To go back to "just being" wild card contenders feels so wrong. This shit sucks. I REALLY hope Eppler and company have something up their sleeve. Because we got a taste of how good this team can be with just one more move and it's a tough pull to swallow to go back.

Someone should tell him you can't un-rub one out.