Roy Hobbs

If you're looking for some pork spare ribs for that big Passover dinner, Foodmaster has them for a really good price.

RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE
1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.
2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas.
3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.
5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.
7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was. She told me, "In the lake."
8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!".
10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was 'Always'.
12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.
13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!".
Can't you just hear him say all of these?
I love it. These were the good old days when humor didn't have to start with a four letter word or political. It was just clean and simple fun. And he always ended his programs with the words, "And May God Bless"with a big smile on his face.

That's what makes baseball a beautiful game.

Funny how these things work.  Last night, they get completely shutdown by a guy with one appearance in the majors since 2017, and then tonight, they're all over one of the better young starters in the league.

New lineup graphic. Thoughts?
 

He’s not our number 1. Not even close. Yes, he was named the opening day starter, but you’re kidding yourself if you think he’s our number 1. 
 
Be better. 

Non baseball note but having Wayne in the booth is a massive W. He’s just a really good game caller, especially after the shit show rotation we’ve had in previous years.

Chatting Practice: Mike Trout | 04/16/2024 | MLB.com

Don't tell secrets in the garden.  The potatoes have eyes. The corn has ears and the beanstalk.

@jsnpritchett does a fantastic job, I always look forward to his posts.

@jsnpritchett does a fantastic job, I always look forward to his posts.

@jsnpritchett does a fantastic job, I always look forward to his posts.

It's actually 4:10 Pacific Coast Time.The 1:00 time is wrong.
 

Do you ever apply the sniff test to anything in life?  Do you ever wonder why I’m always right in these type of things and you are initially and adamantly wrong but then have to concede that I (and Lou) was (were) right?
The point is, use logic, don’t automatically listen to what you’re told.  For Ohtani to be totally innocent, then massive failures would have had to have occurred on so many levels that it’s either a lie or it’s incompetence on a historic level.  
I loved Ohtani as an Angel.  I, like I’m sure everyone else here, was bummed he left (and to the f’ing Dodgers).  Is that clouding my judgment?  Maybe.  But not likely.  Not with with what we know now.

OJ off to the morgue

you really have become quite the troll

I didn’t say reach around