PercySquint

Hey guys-
Just wanted to check in a bit, it's been a while, yes? First of all, my apologies for not posting of late. I had been busy with work (2 jobs) and caregiver duties for my mother, who passed away in April, moving, and other stuff going on. These were also the main reasons why I didn't make it out to spring training this year. I hated that.
The medical stuff is very recent. Here's the deal, long story shortened- last Friday, shortness of breath. Went to 19-inning game against the putrid stinking white flag tossing bottomfeeding Chowds on Saturday. While walking from stadium to car after, got winded and had to stop twice. Put in a call to my doc Sunday. Saw him Monday, he sent me to hospital. They started running tests. Tuesday, the doc came in and told me I have lung cancer "somewhat advanced." He looked sad. Said it's 7 centimeters, upper left lung, pushing down on bronchial tubes which partially collapsed the lung, causing the shortness of breath. Said they will know more after the biopsy on Wednesday. That was the worst day of my life until Thursday. He came in and told me stage 3, not operable, into lymph nodes. He also said if aggressive chemotherapy and radiation are successful, it would give me a year/year and a half to live. Not sure how to describe what it was like to hear that. Friday, they ran 2 more tests, and finally sent me home.
I will be very honest with you- I think I'm still in shock. I have very, very raw emotions. I have chosen not to censor them. So the tears and snot have been flowing rather freely. I am very scared. I'm scared of dying, the treatment, not getting treatment, you name it. I'm grieving the loss of my health, also known as feeling sorry for myself. I'm told this is a normal reaction for anyone in my shoes. I wouldn't know.
I've cried more this last week than the last 10 years. The biggest reason for it is the tremendous outpouring of love and support that has come my way. I have a vast network of friends who are absolutely unbelievable. A few of them have been through cancer treatments, and will be holding my hand when I start next week. Others have visited me, brought me stuff, and fed me. I got prayers flyin' my way from Arizona, Nevada, Montana, Tennessee, New York, etc. I am loved and cared about, in a very big way, it seems. I can feel it. Which brings me to you guys...
I was fortunate to discover AW some years ago. And through games, fanfests, spring training, etc., I've been able to meet many of you. From the mondo strikeout game with Blarg, playing cards with Brandon, winning my Oppo Taco shirt, playing softball, watching Adam wielding the broom as he led the conga line at Throwbacks after we swept the stinking Red Sux, composing Squintfest threads and film reviews, to the infamous (but hilarious) exchange with Arte, etc etc. I have excellent memories that will last the rest of my life, however long that is.
Sometime during last week, I was made aware of this thread. A good friend read some of it to me in the hospital. And wouldn't ya know, I started cryin yet again. It blows me away that you guys care this much for just another diehard Halos fan you don't know that closely. I am humbled and blessed. You guys have touched my heart. THIS is what AW does best, at least in my experience.
I'm off for 4-5 days, then the "ugly stuff" starts. Yup, I'm pretty scared, but I'll do it anyway. I'll try to post updates if possible. For now, keep them prayers coming, and let me thank all of you once again from every part of my heart (especially Eric, Patti, Mancini, AO, Derek, and Tank, who reached out). AW frickin rocks. And how bout my beloved Halos right about now? First place, bitches...
Love you guys,
-Mike
PS- May as well throw in some humor- Besides the 2 main docs who consulted with me, there was a 3rd doc who did the actual work- draining lung fluid, the biopsy, and installing the Porta-Cath. This guy was a little weird, so I liked him. During the biopsy, I was lying face down on the table. After it was done, the nurse said I need to slide over to the gurney for transport back to my room. Being a smartass, I said "Nah, I'll just sleep right here". Then I heard the doc say "You go right ahead. I'll shove this proctoscope so far up your ass, you won't know weather to sh*t or go blind. Sweet dreams". It was only time I busted up laughing last week. Just thought I'd throw that in.

Hey guys-
Just wanted to check in a bit, it's been a while, yes? First of all, my apologies for not posting of late. I had been busy with work (2 jobs) and caregiver duties for my mother, who passed away in April, moving, and other stuff going on. These were also the main reasons why I didn't make it out to spring training this year. I hated that.
The medical stuff is very recent. Here's the deal, long story shortened- last Friday, shortness of breath. Went to 19-inning game against the putrid stinking white flag tossing bottomfeeding Chowds on Saturday. While walking from stadium to car after, got winded and had to stop twice. Put in a call to my doc Sunday. Saw him Monday, he sent me to hospital. They started running tests. Tuesday, the doc came in and told me I have lung cancer "somewhat advanced." He looked sad. Said it's 7 centimeters, upper left lung, pushing down on bronchial tubes which partially collapsed the lung, causing the shortness of breath. Said they will know more after the biopsy on Wednesday. That was the worst day of my life until Thursday. He came in and told me stage 3, not operable, into lymph nodes. He also said if aggressive chemotherapy and radiation are successful, it would give me a year/year and a half to live. Not sure how to describe what it was like to hear that. Friday, they ran 2 more tests, and finally sent me home.
I will be very honest with you- I think I'm still in shock. I have very, very raw emotions. I have chosen not to censor them. So the tears and snot have been flowing rather freely. I am very scared. I'm scared of dying, the treatment, not getting treatment, you name it. I'm grieving the loss of my health, also known as feeling sorry for myself. I'm told this is a normal reaction for anyone in my shoes. I wouldn't know.
I've cried more this last week than the last 10 years. The biggest reason for it is the tremendous outpouring of love and support that has come my way. I have a vast network of friends who are absolutely unbelievable. A few of them have been through cancer treatments, and will be holding my hand when I start next week. Others have visited me, brought me stuff, and fed me. I got prayers flyin' my way from Arizona, Nevada, Montana, Tennessee, New York, etc. I am loved and cared about, in a very big way, it seems. I can feel it. Which brings me to you guys...
I was fortunate to discover AW some years ago. And through games, fanfests, spring training, etc., I've been able to meet many of you. From the mondo strikeout game with Blarg, playing cards with Brandon, winning my Oppo Taco shirt, playing softball, watching Adam wielding the broom as he led the conga line at Throwbacks after we swept the stinking Red Sux, composing Squintfest threads and film reviews, to the infamous (but hilarious) exchange with Arte, etc etc. I have excellent memories that will last the rest of my life, however long that is.
Sometime during last week, I was made aware of this thread. A good friend read some of it to me in the hospital. And wouldn't ya know, I started cryin yet again. It blows me away that you guys care this much for just another diehard Halos fan you don't know that closely. I am humbled and blessed. You guys have touched my heart. THIS is what AW does best, at least in my experience.
I'm off for 4-5 days, then the "ugly stuff" starts. Yup, I'm pretty scared, but I'll do it anyway. I'll try to post updates if possible. For now, keep them prayers coming, and let me thank all of you once again from every part of my heart (especially Eric, Patti, Mancini, AO, Derek, and Tank, who reached out). AW frickin rocks. And how bout my beloved Halos right about now? First place, bitches...
Love you guys,
-Mike
PS- May as well throw in some humor- Besides the 2 main docs who consulted with me, there was a 3rd doc who did the actual work- draining lung fluid, the biopsy, and installing the Porta-Cath. This guy was a little weird, so I liked him. During the biopsy, I was lying face down on the table. After it was done, the nurse said I need to slide over to the gurney for transport back to my room. Being a smartass, I said "Nah, I'll just sleep right here". Then I heard the doc say "You go right ahead. I'll shove this proctoscope so far up your ass, you won't know weather to sh*t or go blind. Sweet dreams". It was only time I busted up laughing last week. Just thought I'd throw that in.

Hey guys-
Just wanted to check in a bit, it's been a while, yes? First of all, my apologies for not posting of late. I had been busy with work (2 jobs) and caregiver duties for my mother, who passed away in April, moving, and other stuff going on. These were also the main reasons why I didn't make it out to spring training this year. I hated that.
The medical stuff is very recent. Here's the deal, long story shortened- last Friday, shortness of breath. Went to 19-inning game against the putrid stinking white flag tossing bottomfeeding Chowds on Saturday. While walking from stadium to car after, got winded and had to stop twice. Put in a call to my doc Sunday. Saw him Monday, he sent me to hospital. They started running tests. Tuesday, the doc came in and told me I have lung cancer "somewhat advanced." He looked sad. Said it's 7 centimeters, upper left lung, pushing down on bronchial tubes which partially collapsed the lung, causing the shortness of breath. Said they will know more after the biopsy on Wednesday. That was the worst day of my life until Thursday. He came in and told me stage 3, not operable, into lymph nodes. He also said if aggressive chemotherapy and radiation are successful, it would give me a year/year and a half to live. Not sure how to describe what it was like to hear that. Friday, they ran 2 more tests, and finally sent me home.
I will be very honest with you- I think I'm still in shock. I have very, very raw emotions. I have chosen not to censor them. So the tears and snot have been flowing rather freely. I am very scared. I'm scared of dying, the treatment, not getting treatment, you name it. I'm grieving the loss of my health, also known as feeling sorry for myself. I'm told this is a normal reaction for anyone in my shoes. I wouldn't know.
I've cried more this last week than the last 10 years. The biggest reason for it is the tremendous outpouring of love and support that has come my way. I have a vast network of friends who are absolutely unbelievable. A few of them have been through cancer treatments, and will be holding my hand when I start next week. Others have visited me, brought me stuff, and fed me. I got prayers flyin' my way from Arizona, Nevada, Montana, Tennessee, New York, etc. I am loved and cared about, in a very big way, it seems. I can feel it. Which brings me to you guys...
I was fortunate to discover AW some years ago. And through games, fanfests, spring training, etc., I've been able to meet many of you. From the mondo strikeout game with Blarg, playing cards with Brandon, winning my Oppo Taco shirt, playing softball, watching Adam wielding the broom as he led the conga line at Throwbacks after we swept the stinking Red Sux, composing Squintfest threads and film reviews, to the infamous (but hilarious) exchange with Arte, etc etc. I have excellent memories that will last the rest of my life, however long that is.
Sometime during last week, I was made aware of this thread. A good friend read some of it to me in the hospital. And wouldn't ya know, I started cryin yet again. It blows me away that you guys care this much for just another diehard Halos fan you don't know that closely. I am humbled and blessed. You guys have touched my heart. THIS is what AW does best, at least in my experience.
I'm off for 4-5 days, then the "ugly stuff" starts. Yup, I'm pretty scared, but I'll do it anyway. I'll try to post updates if possible. For now, keep them prayers coming, and let me thank all of you once again from every part of my heart (especially Eric, Patti, Mancini, AO, Derek, and Tank, who reached out). AW frickin rocks. And how bout my beloved Halos right about now? First place, bitches...
Love you guys,
-Mike
PS- May as well throw in some humor- Besides the 2 main docs who consulted with me, there was a 3rd doc who did the actual work- draining lung fluid, the biopsy, and installing the Porta-Cath. This guy was a little weird, so I liked him. During the biopsy, I was lying face down on the table. After it was done, the nurse said I need to slide over to the gurney for transport back to my room. Being a smartass, I said "Nah, I'll just sleep right here". Then I heard the doc say "You go right ahead. I'll shove this proctoscope so far up your ass, you won't know weather to sh*t or go blind. Sweet dreams". It was only time I busted up laughing last week. Just thought I'd throw that in.

Update- met with my doc. I need 2 more tests, a brain MRI and a bone scan, to determine if the lung cancer has spread to those areas, before treatment can begin. If I'm lucky, it has not. Then they want to start me with 2 weeks of radiation to help me breathe better. After that, they want to hit me with radiation and chemo concurrently. Sounds like a fun time, yes?  
 
This is scary shit. But I'm gonna do it anyway. Part of me wants to get the ball rolling now, the other part wants to enjoy not feeling the side effects as long as I can. But I know whatever I'm in store for is gonna happen in God's time, not mine.
 
Love you guys. Keep them prayers a-comin' please...
 
-Mike
 
ps- Found out my oncologist (who grew up in NY) is a Mets fan. "Of course, I hate the Yankees". I have now connected with him on a new level.

Hey guys-
Just wanted to check in a bit, it's been a while, yes? First of all, my apologies for not posting of late. I had been busy with work (2 jobs) and caregiver duties for my mother, who passed away in April, moving, and other stuff going on. These were also the main reasons why I didn't make it out to spring training this year. I hated that.
The medical stuff is very recent. Here's the deal, long story shortened- last Friday, shortness of breath. Went to 19-inning game against the putrid stinking white flag tossing bottomfeeding Chowds on Saturday. While walking from stadium to car after, got winded and had to stop twice. Put in a call to my doc Sunday. Saw him Monday, he sent me to hospital. They started running tests. Tuesday, the doc came in and told me I have lung cancer "somewhat advanced." He looked sad. Said it's 7 centimeters, upper left lung, pushing down on bronchial tubes which partially collapsed the lung, causing the shortness of breath. Said they will know more after the biopsy on Wednesday. That was the worst day of my life until Thursday. He came in and told me stage 3, not operable, into lymph nodes. He also said if aggressive chemotherapy and radiation are successful, it would give me a year/year and a half to live. Not sure how to describe what it was like to hear that. Friday, they ran 2 more tests, and finally sent me home.
I will be very honest with you- I think I'm still in shock. I have very, very raw emotions. I have chosen not to censor them. So the tears and snot have been flowing rather freely. I am very scared. I'm scared of dying, the treatment, not getting treatment, you name it. I'm grieving the loss of my health, also known as feeling sorry for myself. I'm told this is a normal reaction for anyone in my shoes. I wouldn't know.
I've cried more this last week than the last 10 years. The biggest reason for it is the tremendous outpouring of love and support that has come my way. I have a vast network of friends who are absolutely unbelievable. A few of them have been through cancer treatments, and will be holding my hand when I start next week. Others have visited me, brought me stuff, and fed me. I got prayers flyin' my way from Arizona, Nevada, Montana, Tennessee, New York, etc. I am loved and cared about, in a very big way, it seems. I can feel it. Which brings me to you guys...
I was fortunate to discover AW some years ago. And through games, fanfests, spring training, etc., I've been able to meet many of you. From the mondo strikeout game with Blarg, playing cards with Brandon, winning my Oppo Taco shirt, playing softball, watching Adam wielding the broom as he led the conga line at Throwbacks after we swept the stinking Red Sux, composing Squintfest threads and film reviews, to the infamous (but hilarious) exchange with Arte, etc etc. I have excellent memories that will last the rest of my life, however long that is.
Sometime during last week, I was made aware of this thread. A good friend read some of it to me in the hospital. And wouldn't ya know, I started cryin yet again. It blows me away that you guys care this much for just another diehard Halos fan you don't know that closely. I am humbled and blessed. You guys have touched my heart. THIS is what AW does best, at least in my experience.
I'm off for 4-5 days, then the "ugly stuff" starts. Yup, I'm pretty scared, but I'll do it anyway. I'll try to post updates if possible. For now, keep them prayers coming, and let me thank all of you once again from every part of my heart (especially Eric, Patti, Mancini, AO, Derek, and Tank, who reached out). AW frickin rocks. And how bout my beloved Halos right about now? First place, bitches...
Love you guys,
-Mike
PS- May as well throw in some humor- Besides the 2 main docs who consulted with me, there was a 3rd doc who did the actual work- draining lung fluid, the biopsy, and installing the Porta-Cath. This guy was a little weird, so I liked him. During the biopsy, I was lying face down on the table. After it was done, the nurse said I need to slide over to the gurney for transport back to my room. Being a smartass, I said "Nah, I'll just sleep right here". Then I heard the doc say "You go right ahead. I'll shove this proctoscope so far up your ass, you won't know weather to sh*t or go blind. Sweet dreams". It was only time I busted up laughing last week. Just thought I'd throw that in.

Hey guys-
Just wanted to check in a bit, it's been a while, yes? First of all, my apologies for not posting of late. I had been busy with work (2 jobs) and caregiver duties for my mother, who passed away in April, moving, and other stuff going on. These were also the main reasons why I didn't make it out to spring training this year. I hated that.
The medical stuff is very recent. Here's the deal, long story shortened- last Friday, shortness of breath. Went to 19-inning game against the putrid stinking white flag tossing bottomfeeding Chowds on Saturday. While walking from stadium to car after, got winded and had to stop twice. Put in a call to my doc Sunday. Saw him Monday, he sent me to hospital. They started running tests. Tuesday, the doc came in and told me I have lung cancer "somewhat advanced." He looked sad. Said it's 7 centimeters, upper left lung, pushing down on bronchial tubes which partially collapsed the lung, causing the shortness of breath. Said they will know more after the biopsy on Wednesday. That was the worst day of my life until Thursday. He came in and told me stage 3, not operable, into lymph nodes. He also said if aggressive chemotherapy and radiation are successful, it would give me a year/year and a half to live. Not sure how to describe what it was like to hear that. Friday, they ran 2 more tests, and finally sent me home.
I will be very honest with you- I think I'm still in shock. I have very, very raw emotions. I have chosen not to censor them. So the tears and snot have been flowing rather freely. I am very scared. I'm scared of dying, the treatment, not getting treatment, you name it. I'm grieving the loss of my health, also known as feeling sorry for myself. I'm told this is a normal reaction for anyone in my shoes. I wouldn't know.
I've cried more this last week than the last 10 years. The biggest reason for it is the tremendous outpouring of love and support that has come my way. I have a vast network of friends who are absolutely unbelievable. A few of them have been through cancer treatments, and will be holding my hand when I start next week. Others have visited me, brought me stuff, and fed me. I got prayers flyin' my way from Arizona, Nevada, Montana, Tennessee, New York, etc. I am loved and cared about, in a very big way, it seems. I can feel it. Which brings me to you guys...
I was fortunate to discover AW some years ago. And through games, fanfests, spring training, etc., I've been able to meet many of you. From the mondo strikeout game with Blarg, playing cards with Brandon, winning my Oppo Taco shirt, playing softball, watching Adam wielding the broom as he led the conga line at Throwbacks after we swept the stinking Red Sux, composing Squintfest threads and film reviews, to the infamous (but hilarious) exchange with Arte, etc etc. I have excellent memories that will last the rest of my life, however long that is.
Sometime during last week, I was made aware of this thread. A good friend read some of it to me in the hospital. And wouldn't ya know, I started cryin yet again. It blows me away that you guys care this much for just another diehard Halos fan you don't know that closely. I am humbled and blessed. You guys have touched my heart. THIS is what AW does best, at least in my experience.
I'm off for 4-5 days, then the "ugly stuff" starts. Yup, I'm pretty scared, but I'll do it anyway. I'll try to post updates if possible. For now, keep them prayers coming, and let me thank all of you once again from every part of my heart (especially Eric, Patti, Mancini, AO, Derek, and Tank, who reached out). AW frickin rocks. And how bout my beloved Halos right about now? First place, bitches...
Love you guys,
-Mike
PS- May as well throw in some humor- Besides the 2 main docs who consulted with me, there was a 3rd doc who did the actual work- draining lung fluid, the biopsy, and installing the Porta-Cath. This guy was a little weird, so I liked him. During the biopsy, I was lying face down on the table. After it was done, the nurse said I need to slide over to the gurney for transport back to my room. Being a smartass, I said "Nah, I'll just sleep right here". Then I heard the doc say "You go right ahead. I'll shove this proctoscope so far up your ass, you won't know weather to sh*t or go blind. Sweet dreams". It was only time I busted up laughing last week. Just thought I'd throw that in.

Currently? Well, for the last 2 games, I'll go with Gordon Beckham. I think it's pronounced Gor-DON.
 
Salas has been outstanding.

Pretty damn frustrating, the last 2 games, especially losing on a wild pitch. The offense continues to sputter, although you have to give Lester some credit for yesterday. I hate watching us lose to Chokeland. But since we suck with the bats right now, we're pretty evenly matched with them, and somebody gotta win.
 
As tempting as a knee-jerk reaction is, I refuse to project my hatred of our current record against them, or my hatred of our offensive non-productivity, into the rest of the season or the playoffs. Too many things can happen. You know that.   

Update- met with my doc. I need 2 more tests, a brain MRI and a bone scan, to determine if the lung cancer has spread to those areas, before treatment can begin. If I'm lucky, it has not. Then they want to start me with 2 weeks of radiation to help me breathe better. After that, they want to hit me with radiation and chemo concurrently. Sounds like a fun time, yes?  
 
This is scary shit. But I'm gonna do it anyway. Part of me wants to get the ball rolling now, the other part wants to enjoy not feeling the side effects as long as I can. But I know whatever I'm in store for is gonna happen in God's time, not mine.
 
Love you guys. Keep them prayers a-comin' please...
 
-Mike
 
ps- Found out my oncologist (who grew up in NY) is a Mets fan. "Of course, I hate the Yankees". I have now connected with him on a new level.

Update- met with my doc. I need 2 more tests, a brain MRI and a bone scan, to determine if the lung cancer has spread to those areas, before treatment can begin. If I'm lucky, it has not. Then they want to start me with 2 weeks of radiation to help me breathe better. After that, they want to hit me with radiation and chemo concurrently. Sounds like a fun time, yes?  
 
This is scary shit. But I'm gonna do it anyway. Part of me wants to get the ball rolling now, the other part wants to enjoy not feeling the side effects as long as I can. But I know whatever I'm in store for is gonna happen in God's time, not mine.
 
Love you guys. Keep them prayers a-comin' please...
 
-Mike
 
ps- Found out my oncologist (who grew up in NY) is a Mets fan. "Of course, I hate the Yankees". I have now connected with him on a new level.

Update- met with my doc. I need 2 more tests, a brain MRI and a bone scan, to determine if the lung cancer has spread to those areas, before treatment can begin. If I'm lucky, it has not. Then they want to start me with 2 weeks of radiation to help me breathe better. After that, they want to hit me with radiation and chemo concurrently. Sounds like a fun time, yes?  
 
This is scary shit. But I'm gonna do it anyway. Part of me wants to get the ball rolling now, the other part wants to enjoy not feeling the side effects as long as I can. But I know whatever I'm in store for is gonna happen in God's time, not mine.
 
Love you guys. Keep them prayers a-comin' please...
 
-Mike
 
ps- Found out my oncologist (who grew up in NY) is a Mets fan. "Of course, I hate the Yankees". I have now connected with him on a new level.

Update- met with my doc. I need 2 more tests, a brain MRI and a bone scan, to determine if the lung cancer has spread to those areas, before treatment can begin. If I'm lucky, it has not. Then they want to start me with 2 weeks of radiation to help me breathe better. After that, they want to hit me with radiation and chemo concurrently. Sounds like a fun time, yes?  
 
This is scary shit. But I'm gonna do it anyway. Part of me wants to get the ball rolling now, the other part wants to enjoy not feeling the side effects as long as I can. But I know whatever I'm in store for is gonna happen in God's time, not mine.
 
Love you guys. Keep them prayers a-comin' please...
 
-Mike
 
ps- Found out my oncologist (who grew up in NY) is a Mets fan. "Of course, I hate the Yankees". I have now connected with him on a new level.

Hey guys-
Just wanted to check in a bit, it's been a while, yes? First of all, my apologies for not posting of late. I had been busy with work (2 jobs) and caregiver duties for my mother, who passed away in April, moving, and other stuff going on. These were also the main reasons why I didn't make it out to spring training this year. I hated that.
The medical stuff is very recent. Here's the deal, long story shortened- last Friday, shortness of breath. Went to 19-inning game against the putrid stinking white flag tossing bottomfeeding Chowds on Saturday. While walking from stadium to car after, got winded and had to stop twice. Put in a call to my doc Sunday. Saw him Monday, he sent me to hospital. They started running tests. Tuesday, the doc came in and told me I have lung cancer "somewhat advanced." He looked sad. Said it's 7 centimeters, upper left lung, pushing down on bronchial tubes which partially collapsed the lung, causing the shortness of breath. Said they will know more after the biopsy on Wednesday. That was the worst day of my life until Thursday. He came in and told me stage 3, not operable, into lymph nodes. He also said if aggressive chemotherapy and radiation are successful, it would give me a year/year and a half to live. Not sure how to describe what it was like to hear that. Friday, they ran 2 more tests, and finally sent me home.
I will be very honest with you- I think I'm still in shock. I have very, very raw emotions. I have chosen not to censor them. So the tears and snot have been flowing rather freely. I am very scared. I'm scared of dying, the treatment, not getting treatment, you name it. I'm grieving the loss of my health, also known as feeling sorry for myself. I'm told this is a normal reaction for anyone in my shoes. I wouldn't know.
I've cried more this last week than the last 10 years. The biggest reason for it is the tremendous outpouring of love and support that has come my way. I have a vast network of friends who are absolutely unbelievable. A few of them have been through cancer treatments, and will be holding my hand when I start next week. Others have visited me, brought me stuff, and fed me. I got prayers flyin' my way from Arizona, Nevada, Montana, Tennessee, New York, etc. I am loved and cared about, in a very big way, it seems. I can feel it. Which brings me to you guys...
I was fortunate to discover AW some years ago. And through games, fanfests, spring training, etc., I've been able to meet many of you. From the mondo strikeout game with Blarg, playing cards with Brandon, winning my Oppo Taco shirt, playing softball, watching Adam wielding the broom as he led the conga line at Throwbacks after we swept the stinking Red Sux, composing Squintfest threads and film reviews, to the infamous (but hilarious) exchange with Arte, etc etc. I have excellent memories that will last the rest of my life, however long that is.
Sometime during last week, I was made aware of this thread. A good friend read some of it to me in the hospital. And wouldn't ya know, I started cryin yet again. It blows me away that you guys care this much for just another diehard Halos fan you don't know that closely. I am humbled and blessed. You guys have touched my heart. THIS is what AW does best, at least in my experience.
I'm off for 4-5 days, then the "ugly stuff" starts. Yup, I'm pretty scared, but I'll do it anyway. I'll try to post updates if possible. For now, keep them prayers coming, and let me thank all of you once again from every part of my heart (especially Eric, Patti, Mancini, AO, Derek, and Tank, who reached out). AW frickin rocks. And how bout my beloved Halos right about now? First place, bitches...
Love you guys,
-Mike
PS- May as well throw in some humor- Besides the 2 main docs who consulted with me, there was a 3rd doc who did the actual work- draining lung fluid, the biopsy, and installing the Porta-Cath. This guy was a little weird, so I liked him. During the biopsy, I was lying face down on the table. After it was done, the nurse said I need to slide over to the gurney for transport back to my room. Being a smartass, I said "Nah, I'll just sleep right here". Then I heard the doc say "You go right ahead. I'll shove this proctoscope so far up your ass, you won't know weather to sh*t or go blind. Sweet dreams". It was only time I busted up laughing last week. Just thought I'd throw that in.

Hey guys-
Just wanted to check in a bit, it's been a while, yes? First of all, my apologies for not posting of late. I had been busy with work (2 jobs) and caregiver duties for my mother, who passed away in April, moving, and other stuff going on. These were also the main reasons why I didn't make it out to spring training this year. I hated that.
The medical stuff is very recent. Here's the deal, long story shortened- last Friday, shortness of breath. Went to 19-inning game against the putrid stinking white flag tossing bottomfeeding Chowds on Saturday. While walking from stadium to car after, got winded and had to stop twice. Put in a call to my doc Sunday. Saw him Monday, he sent me to hospital. They started running tests. Tuesday, the doc came in and told me I have lung cancer "somewhat advanced." He looked sad. Said it's 7 centimeters, upper left lung, pushing down on bronchial tubes which partially collapsed the lung, causing the shortness of breath. Said they will know more after the biopsy on Wednesday. That was the worst day of my life until Thursday. He came in and told me stage 3, not operable, into lymph nodes. He also said if aggressive chemotherapy and radiation are successful, it would give me a year/year and a half to live. Not sure how to describe what it was like to hear that. Friday, they ran 2 more tests, and finally sent me home.
I will be very honest with you- I think I'm still in shock. I have very, very raw emotions. I have chosen not to censor them. So the tears and snot have been flowing rather freely. I am very scared. I'm scared of dying, the treatment, not getting treatment, you name it. I'm grieving the loss of my health, also known as feeling sorry for myself. I'm told this is a normal reaction for anyone in my shoes. I wouldn't know.
I've cried more this last week than the last 10 years. The biggest reason for it is the tremendous outpouring of love and support that has come my way. I have a vast network of friends who are absolutely unbelievable. A few of them have been through cancer treatments, and will be holding my hand when I start next week. Others have visited me, brought me stuff, and fed me. I got prayers flyin' my way from Arizona, Nevada, Montana, Tennessee, New York, etc. I am loved and cared about, in a very big way, it seems. I can feel it. Which brings me to you guys...
I was fortunate to discover AW some years ago. And through games, fanfests, spring training, etc., I've been able to meet many of you. From the mondo strikeout game with Blarg, playing cards with Brandon, winning my Oppo Taco shirt, playing softball, watching Adam wielding the broom as he led the conga line at Throwbacks after we swept the stinking Red Sux, composing Squintfest threads and film reviews, to the infamous (but hilarious) exchange with Arte, etc etc. I have excellent memories that will last the rest of my life, however long that is.
Sometime during last week, I was made aware of this thread. A good friend read some of it to me in the hospital. And wouldn't ya know, I started cryin yet again. It blows me away that you guys care this much for just another diehard Halos fan you don't know that closely. I am humbled and blessed. You guys have touched my heart. THIS is what AW does best, at least in my experience.
I'm off for 4-5 days, then the "ugly stuff" starts. Yup, I'm pretty scared, but I'll do it anyway. I'll try to post updates if possible. For now, keep them prayers coming, and let me thank all of you once again from every part of my heart (especially Eric, Patti, Mancini, AO, Derek, and Tank, who reached out). AW frickin rocks. And how bout my beloved Halos right about now? First place, bitches...
Love you guys,
-Mike
PS- May as well throw in some humor- Besides the 2 main docs who consulted with me, there was a 3rd doc who did the actual work- draining lung fluid, the biopsy, and installing the Porta-Cath. This guy was a little weird, so I liked him. During the biopsy, I was lying face down on the table. After it was done, the nurse said I need to slide over to the gurney for transport back to my room. Being a smartass, I said "Nah, I'll just sleep right here". Then I heard the doc say "You go right ahead. I'll shove this proctoscope so far up your ass, you won't know weather to sh*t or go blind. Sweet dreams". It was only time I busted up laughing last week. Just thought I'd throw that in.

Update- met with my doc. I need 2 more tests, a brain MRI and a bone scan, to determine if the lung cancer has spread to those areas, before treatment can begin. If I'm lucky, it has not. Then they want to start me with 2 weeks of radiation to help me breathe better. After that, they want to hit me with radiation and chemo concurrently. Sounds like a fun time, yes?  
 
This is scary shit. But I'm gonna do it anyway. Part of me wants to get the ball rolling now, the other part wants to enjoy not feeling the side effects as long as I can. But I know whatever I'm in store for is gonna happen in God's time, not mine.
 
Love you guys. Keep them prayers a-comin' please...
 
-Mike
 
ps- Found out my oncologist (who grew up in NY) is a Mets fan. "Of course, I hate the Yankees". I have now connected with him on a new level.

Update- met with my doc. I need 2 more tests, a brain MRI and a bone scan, to determine if the lung cancer has spread to those areas, before treatment can begin. If I'm lucky, it has not. Then they want to start me with 2 weeks of radiation to help me breathe better. After that, they want to hit me with radiation and chemo concurrently. Sounds like a fun time, yes?  
 
This is scary shit. But I'm gonna do it anyway. Part of me wants to get the ball rolling now, the other part wants to enjoy not feeling the side effects as long as I can. But I know whatever I'm in store for is gonna happen in God's time, not mine.
 
Love you guys. Keep them prayers a-comin' please...
 
-Mike
 
ps- Found out my oncologist (who grew up in NY) is a Mets fan. "Of course, I hate the Yankees". I have now connected with him on a new level.

Update- met with my doc. I need 2 more tests, a brain MRI and a bone scan, to determine if the lung cancer has spread to those areas, before treatment can begin. If I'm lucky, it has not. Then they want to start me with 2 weeks of radiation to help me breathe better. After that, they want to hit me with radiation and chemo concurrently. Sounds like a fun time, yes?  
 
This is scary shit. But I'm gonna do it anyway. Part of me wants to get the ball rolling now, the other part wants to enjoy not feeling the side effects as long as I can. But I know whatever I'm in store for is gonna happen in God's time, not mine.
 
Love you guys. Keep them prayers a-comin' please...
 
-Mike
 
ps- Found out my oncologist (who grew up in NY) is a Mets fan. "Of course, I hate the Yankees". I have now connected with him on a new level.

Update- met with my doc. I need 2 more tests, a brain MRI and a bone scan, to determine if the lung cancer has spread to those areas, before treatment can begin. If I'm lucky, it has not. Then they want to start me with 2 weeks of radiation to help me breathe better. After that, they want to hit me with radiation and chemo concurrently. Sounds like a fun time, yes?  
 
This is scary shit. But I'm gonna do it anyway. Part of me wants to get the ball rolling now, the other part wants to enjoy not feeling the side effects as long as I can. But I know whatever I'm in store for is gonna happen in God's time, not mine.
 
Love you guys. Keep them prayers a-comin' please...
 
-Mike
 
ps- Found out my oncologist (who grew up in NY) is a Mets fan. "Of course, I hate the Yankees". I have now connected with him on a new level.

Never forget who they are and what they are, regardless of who is in their lineup- they are the stinking vile putrid unclean Chowds, AKA the ultimate human filth. It does not matter what their record is (although their current status brings me unbridled joy), it does not matter what our record is. They MUST be destroyed, obliterated, terminated with extreme predjudice. This is a must-win. You know that. Die Chowds, DIE !!!
 
Uh, who the f*ck is Brennan Boesch?

Never forget who they are and what they are, regardless of who is in their lineup- they are the stinking vile putrid unclean Chowds, AKA the ultimate human filth. It does not matter what their record is (although their current status brings me unbridled joy), it does not matter what our record is. They MUST be destroyed, obliterated, terminated with extreme predjudice. This is a must-win. You know that. Die Chowds, DIE !!!
 
Uh, who the f*ck is Brennan Boesch?

Never forget who they are and what they are, regardless of who is in their lineup- they are the stinking vile putrid unclean Chowds, AKA the ultimate human filth. It does not matter what their record is (although their current status brings me unbridled joy), it does not matter what our record is. They MUST be destroyed, obliterated, terminated with extreme predjudice. This is a must-win. You know that. Die Chowds, DIE !!!
 
Uh, who the f*ck is Brennan Boesch?

Never forget who they are and what they are, regardless of who is in their lineup- they are the stinking vile putrid unclean Chowds, AKA the ultimate human filth. It does not matter what their record is (although their current status brings me unbridled joy), it does not matter what our record is. They MUST be destroyed, obliterated, terminated with extreme predjudice. This is a must-win. You know that. Die Chowds, DIE !!!
 
Uh, who the f*ck is Brennan Boesch?

Never forget who they are and what they are, regardless of who is in their lineup- they are the stinking vile putrid unclean Chowds, AKA the ultimate human filth. It does not matter what their record is (although their current status brings me unbridled joy), it does not matter what our record is. They MUST be destroyed, obliterated, terminated with extreme predjudice. This is a must-win. You know that. Die Chowds, DIE !!!
 
Uh, who the f*ck is Brennan Boesch?

Love = emotional investment = hate. Our current 1st place standing is fragile and vulnerable. As such, if we are overtaken by Chokeland again, the hate will return.
 
Love- "This team rocks! Incredible bullpen and we gots Trout. 1st place, bitches".
 
Hate- "How the hell is this collection of chokers in 1st place? When you suck as much as _____ and _____ do, it don't seem possible, but there we is. I'll take it".
 
Kinda how my head works...

Love = emotional investment = hate. Our current 1st place standing is fragile and vulnerable. As such, if we are overtaken by Chokeland again, the hate will return.
 
Love- "This team rocks! Incredible bullpen and we gots Trout. 1st place, bitches".
 
Hate- "How the hell is this collection of chokers in 1st place? When you suck as much as _____ and _____ do, it don't seem possible, but there we is. I'll take it".
 
Kinda how my head works...