From the Onion:
Dog Doesn’t Consider Itself Part Of FamilyTHOMASVILLE, GA—While admitting that he relies on members of the family for food and shelter and is often included in household activities and family photographs, local 6-year-old golden retriever Pepper told reporters Friday that he in no way considers himself part of the O’Donnell family. “Hey, they’re not bad people, and I appreciate that they let me ride in the car sometimes, but do I think of them as my own family members? God, no,†the canine said while scratching behind his right ear with his hind leg...
http://www.theonion.com/articles/dog-doesnt-consider-itself-part-of-family,35532/