EnglishCop

Heaven help us if it ends up being as ugly as your attempt to use an apostrophe in your post. Oh we'll. Well see.

I haven't looked at the stats, but I can't imagine that his season in Colorado was any greater an atrocity than your decision to put an apostrophe in "seasons." Quinlanforthewin = Englishfortheloss Clean up your act, citizen.

Mr. Notti, we have completed our investigation here at EnglishCop HQ. I have involved every member of our current force and a thorough deconstruction of events was performed. We then painstakingly analyzed what happened from every possible angle. We have determined that Mr. RallyMo was obviously replying to the original post in a mocking manner, employing the same mistaken use of tense that the original post exhibited. All of us here appreciate your interest in enforcing proper language use on the boards. On behalf of the chief, I would like to extend an offer for you to join our force in an entry level position. If you accept, you will patrol the "Future Angels Discussion" board and will henceforth be known as "Eric Blarg, Mall EnglishCop." We look forward to hearing back from you.

Fear not, citizen. I have arrived. Please allow me to fully investigate the incident in question. This may take a day or so. You will hear back from me as soon as I put together all available clues in an effort to determine what has happened here.

As per a discussion with EnglishDA, the current penalty in place states that a violator must deliver fellatio to a sweaty Mike Napoli in the Red Sox clubhouse. We've determined that this would be to your liking and have decided to change the penalty structure.

I don't think that you a should a be a using a the a letter a "a" so wildly. Consider a this a warning. The a next a time a you a do a this a you'll receive what most would consider to be a harsh punishment.

Shame on me as well. I think that if I had to plead my case in front of EnglishChief, I might be able to get by on a technicality as it's more clunky than anything else. Incidentally, I'm one of the few persons on the force that is a fan of the split infinitive. With all of that said, I'd like to invite you to try out for the force. You seem to have just the right amount of nitpickiness (that's now a word) to thrive here. You can start out in the Face Value Ticket Exchange and work your way up from there.

Citizen: stop! There are two possible scenarios that I see here and I'd like some clarification before issuing a citation. 1) You know how to properly use "its" but managed to make a ridiculous mistake that even the most inept kindergartner would certainly avoid. 2) You have no clue how to use "its" correctly and stumbled your clumsy way into using the word appropriately in your first sentence. Have you managed to shake your own hand recently? I have looked at your record and in it there are notes that indicate that your handshake brings bad things upon its recipient. What the hell is going on here?

That's completely intentional and is consistent with my past actions. You're clearly not a member of the EnglishCop fan club.

Yes it does, but it doesn't explain your inability use complete sentences.

What educational institution do we get to blame for that gem of a sentence?

It would seem to me that all it would take for him to resign is an extreme lowball offer on the part of the Angels. With that said, I'm not quite sure why you think the Angels should pursue that course of action considering how good he's actually been thus far.

What made you think have that?

ftFy

I'm fairly certain that academic CONVENTIONS don't apply anywhere that intellectual midgets such as yourself are found. We're aiming TO fix that. You're going to need to EAT your Wheaties and drink YOUR coffee before heading over here tomorrow morning. It's not going TO get any easier. Please notice that I've continued the trend of terrible emphasis that you laid OUT for us so effectively in your post.

Could you please capitalize the first word of a sentence the next time you're going to be stupid enough to use caps lock for completely useless emphasis mid-sentence? For example: Your post couldn't contain a more useless POINT of emphasis. Notice that even though I included a thoroughly meaningless attempt at emphasis via capitalization of "POINT," I still managed to start the sentence properly. Have A GoOd DAY.

If this thead is an accurate indication of what's to come on this new board, I don't think I'll have much time for rest.