A Team That Wins Together, Builds Together

[AngelsWin.com]

 

By Jessica Melendez, AngelsWin.com Feature Writer - 

 

You guys, the Angels suck this year. No two ways about it!  I've been meaning to write this post for the last few months but I have kept putting it off.  Every few days I thought, “this is it, this is where the Angels turn it around and I can just write something super happy and fun instead!”  And then, you know, this season kept happening.

 

But what’s the real problem?  I’m sure everyone has an opinion.  Pitching. Consistency. Everything. All of these are valid answers.  But in my opinion, the biggest problem is a lack of team building.  There’s no chemistry.  It’s like watching a romantic comedy starring two sticks.  Boooooring. Painful.  Coma inducing.

 

So let’s talk team building.  I’m pulling out my Human Resources Professional hat to offer these totally legitimate*, legal**, and effective*** ways to encourage camaraderie and togetherness.

 

1. A brawl. The Dodgers got into TWO brawls earlier this season and look where they are now.  It’s time to start beaning batters and throwing our collarbones into harm’s way.  Nothing says solidarity like that awkward half-sprint-half-jog from the bullpen that happens during brawls.

 

2. Team field trip to church with Josh Hamilton. Yeah, I know there are federal laws against forcing one’s employees to practice a specific religion...do not talk to me of such trivial matters.  Arte needs to lay down the law: head on over to church, boys, and have an honest to goodness “come to Jesus” moment.  Nothing’s more earnest than a new convert.  

 

(and/or)

 

3. Voodoo cleansing ceremony at the Big A with mandatory participation by all players.  I’m sure there’s got to be something that can be done involving chicken sacrifice and maybe burning some Rangers jerseys or something...I’ll leave the details up to the professionals.  Arte’s got the money to hire the big guns, but maybe some fans could go in on some cheaper spells in the meantime.  RealAfricaVoodoo.com offers a “Masculine Power Spell” for $89.95.  You can even add it to an online shopping cart.  Seems totally legit to me and she offers a 30 day money back guarantee so you really can’t go wrong. I say everyone pick a player and send a $89.95 “Masculine Power Spell” their way.  They’ll thank you later.

 

4. Team Campout.  Campouts are a great way to build camaraderie, confidence, and basic life skills.  This is the concept behind every scouting organization.  In my mind, this Team Campout includes repeated watching of The Sandlot, Major League, and Field of Dreams.  And s’mores. Lots of s’mores. Probably a few rounds of the “trust fall” followed by more s’mores.

 

5. Matching tattoos à la the Nine from The Lord of the Rings.  Here’s a way to make sure everyone commits to the season and each other—get a permanent reminder on their bodies!  And they can all match and be adorable and what a fabulous story that would make for sports writers everywhere.  You’re welcome, sports writers.

 

6. Team building through survival!  On the next off day or perhaps even after this dreadful season is over, I vote the entire team get dumped onto a deserted island and forced to scavenge for food and shelter.  As it turns out, fending off danger together is also a great way to form lasting bonds so maybe there could be some dangerous animals and possibly some kind of random setting off of explosions...I’m not saying anyone should actually get killed, I’m kind of asking for The Hunger Games Lite package.  Drama, danger...less actual killing.  This experience should last more than a few days so while they’re off surviving we just bring up a bunch of minor leaguers to play a few games.  Cause it would be fun to watch and we’d probably not lose any more games than we already are, am I right?  

 

So those are my top suggestions for the all important team building that the Angels seem to be sorely lacking this year.  What are yours?

 

* doubtful

** not at all

*** extremely doubtful

[JessGrey]

Thanks, Colt!

[Ohtaniland]

Finally some solutions that make sense. Enjoyed this very much, nice work Jess!

[Mile High Dreams]

Who's buying JoBoo a bucket of KFC & Carribean Rum?

[Angel Oracle]

Good blog!

[sneaky_flute]

ants are delicious

[Angel Oracle]

Who's buying JoBoo a bucket of KFC & Carribean Rum?

Throw in some Guinness!

[Spirit]

Good stuff, Jessica! 

[Dave Saltzer]

Good blog. For the past few years I have been saying that Scioscia should argue more with umps and get kicked out more to fire up the team and bring them together as a group. As a team they have been off, and it has been apparent in their body language. If nothing else, why not have them all stay at a Howard Johnsons while on the road until they are over 500?

[YouthofToday]

This organization lacks depth of talent. It is that simple.

[Chuck]

This organization lacks depth of talent. It is that simple.

 

Disagree. This team lacks results on the field by the players and their manager in the dugout isn't leading. 

 

Most picked the Angels to win the AL West and go to the playoffs deep last offseason and this past offseason. 

[JessGrey]

This organization lacks depth of talent. It is that simple.

 

I completely disagree.  I think there's a lot of talent out there - you can argue lack of depth in the bullpen obviously, but overall I don't think that is the biggest problem.  On paper most of these guys look great.  The main problem is they aren't functioning together as a unit at all.  There's a complete disconnect - the questions are where, and why, and how to fix it?

[JessGrey]

Good blog. For the past few years I have been saying that Scioscia should argue more with umps and get kicked out more to fire up the team and bring them together as a group. As a team they have been off, and it has been apparent in their body language. If nothing else, why not have them all stay at a Howard Johnsons while on the road until they are over 500?

 Thanks, Dave! My dad is of the same opinion - he wants more emotion from Sosh.

[YouthofToday]

Disagree. This team lacks results on the field by the players and their manager in the dugout isn't leading.

Most picked the Angels to win the AL West and go to the playoffs deep last offseason and this past offseason.

Perhaps, yet this organization has zero internal pitching depth due to a complete gutting of the farm system that started with Reagins.

I think folks here give a manager for too much credit/blame that he truly deserves. However, it matters not to me if the team moves on from Scioscia. I just don't have a strong opinion on that.

[Vegas Halo Fan]

If nothing else, why not have them all stay at a Howard Johnsons while on the road until they are over 500?

 

Motel 6. The bed against the wall on one side might be a good incentive.

[Angel Oracle]

Are there too many newcomers in 2013, and that contributed to the disconnect?