Contest: Best Angels limerick, poetry or haiku

[Splint7438]

Sniff! Stradling gets his writing skills from our mom. I miss her and her "Disco Sucks!".

[Lou E Ville]

I think we should have a haiku off.

[Chuck]

A man lives out his days

Yelling and pouting

Oh why oh why

Do we not have any advance scouting?

 

Albert Pujols and Hackilton

These names are a few

If Trout starts to suck

He'll have a name too!

 

We'll sign any old vet

And treat young kids like peasants

Can someone please tell me

Why we have no international presence?

 

I scold the front office

They need to JUST STOP IT!

Once I start venting

You know I can't drop it!

 

Ghost Pujols is sad

Nibs Nibbler is horrible

But there's no one quite like

Our own Angel Oracle

 

I believe we have a winner!!! 

[Stradling]

There once was a player from Millville

His skills were so sick, they were ill

He runs and he hits

Harper ain't shit

He steals glances of Jamie Maggio.

[tomsred]

Jerry, Jerry you are quite contrary,

we would like you to be more wary.

 

Pitching, pitching is what we need,

not more bats that we must feed.

 

What were thou thinking when you signed Blanton,

without a moment even blinking.

 

Jerry, Jerry please be wary,

or this will get a little scarey.

[halos82]

Where would this board be

Without "Mathis-Napoli"

Set Mike Scioscia free?

[tomsred]

July 4, 2013

(A Cardinal's Nightmare)

The outlook wasn’t brilliant for the Angel nine that day;

The score stood 5 to 3 Cardinals, with but with one more half inning left to play,

But then when Albert walked to first, well a glow began to show,

And people asked: Could Josh maybe find that one big blow?

A struggling few got up to leave in deep despair, The rest,

They clung to the hope which springs eternal in a human breast.

They thought, “If only Josh could get a whack at that –

We’d put up even money now, even with Josh and his broken bat.”

The chew is gone from Josh’s lip, and his teeth are clenched in hate,

He pounds with cruel violence his bat upon the plate;

And now the pitcher holds the ball, and now he lets it go,

And now the air is shattered by the force of big Josh’s mighty blow.

Hopes went up, as the ball traveled far into the twinkling light,

Over the fence, beyond the grasp of Jay, and well into the dark night.

And now the people rejoiced, but there was much to do to make this a Cardinal fright.

Then Howard let drive a single, to the wonderment of all,

And Mark, to no surprise, tore the cover off the ball,

And when the dust had settled, and the people saw what had occurred,

There was Mark safe at first, and Howard was hugging third.

Alberto then approached the plate, and he rubbed his hands with dirt,

Forty thousand people applauded as he wiped them on his shirt.

But then Alberto popped to left, and there then was Hank who popped to right;

Many people began to think, maybe this is really is not our night.

There was ease in Aybar’s manner as he then approached the plate,

Could he once appease the crowd, and seal the Cardinal’s fate?

And then the leather covered sphere came hurtling through the air,

And Aybar took a hearty swing, and he lined it for a hit,true and fair.

Oh, somewhere in this land the sun is shinning bright,

The band is playing, and somewhere hearts are light;

And somewhere fans are laughing, and somewhere children shout,

There is joy in Anaheim, that damn Aybar, he did it right.

[Docwaukee]

play good enough

its just not that tough

until last out

so let's scream and shout

until also some thing

confusion is king

que eres tu'

good also happens for you.

[Lou E Ville]

A pointy Trout, a pointy pointy

Anoint my head. Anointy nointy.

[Splint7438]

Halo mudder, Halo faddah

Nice home run, let's hits a naddah

Free agent signings, have caused us paining,

And we get tired of scoscias post game explaining

I went to bat, with Albert pujols

He was so good with the cardinals

Had a beer with josh from Texas

He couldn't tell the plate from where his ass is

All the coaches, lack fundamentals

Our best player, still has pimples

Drive me home now, if you can josh

Don't just stand the at the plate grabbing your crotch

Now I don't want you getting teed off

But now they got Aybar batting lead off

You remember division crowns

Our bullpen doesn't not even scott downs

Drive me home, hey mudder f:-;@r

Drive me home, just need a single

don't leave me at second where

I am stranded by a flare

Drive me home. Hey mudder f&@-:r

Drive me home,just a fly ball

Your fundamentals are so lame

For crying out loud this is only a simple game.

Wait a minute, we started hitting

Balls are flying, Oakland is shitting!

Playing baseball, gee that's better,

At .500 I will feel even better

My apologies to Allan Sherman, stradling, and my mom.

[tdawg87]

I don't want to read the words "stradling" and "my mom" in the same sentence ever again.

[Stradling]

Sorry TDawg, it's my last name. As you can imagine it was fun growing up.

[Torridd]

If I were an angel

I'd spread out my wings

And lift them with love

And all beautiful things

 

But an Angel's existence

Can be jubilant too

Especially bound with two thousand and two

[Stradling]

Torrid that was great, my only issue is your rhyming of too and two. Outside of that it is amazing.

[Torridd]

Torrid that was great, my only issue is your rhyming of too and two. Outside of that it is amazing.

Thanks!

[Chuck]

So keep this thread open, but I am going to pronounce Tdawg as the winner of this contest.

 

Job well done, dude. PM me your address for the Troutstanding shirt. (I need your size too). 

[tdawg87]

Sweet. Will do when I get home.

[Stradling]

Damnit. Do you know how long it took me to come up with mine?

[ELEVEN]

Sweet. Will do when I get home.

So when you get home, remember to look inside the neck of your shirts for your size, and take notice of the address of your house on the way in.

#helpfultips

[Tank]

A pointy Trout, a pointy pointy

Anoint my head. Anointy nointy.

How come you didn't go for a variation of "In Dillman's Grove"?

[2002_halos_II]

There once was an owner named Arte

The fans thought he was such a smarty

He changed the team's name

He signed players with fame

But still, they missed the party

[Grigori]

There once was a player named Hamilton,

Who in Texas hit home runs, a ton of them,

But to Anaheim he went,

Where they paid him a mint,

And he never hit more than an pound of them.

[Lou E Ville]

How come you didn't go for a variation of "In Dillman's Grove"?

 

 

Because I didn't want to think of anyone on the team connected to "o'erwhelmed with thoughts of kissage."

[Lou E Ville]

The Angels are still in the battle

At least this was so, pre-Seattle

We handled the Sox

Then tripped on our cocks

We fans feel like misguided cattle

[Hoops McCann]

to be a fan of the Halos

How it used to be so much fun

But then Dipoto signed Blanton

So now he just gives up runs

 

When Albert left St. Louis

Angels had grand visions of penants and wins

little did we know, he'd just fool us

Are we just paying for his sins?

 

Along came an ex addict we thought would bring power

Little did the team know

It was well past the hour

Such is life in the Big Show