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Hey Old Guys


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@Blarg @Tank @mtangelsfan and any of you other old bastards

Recently, I've noticed that my asshole has been getting itchy and or swampy and I've been having to do some random wipes throughout the day. They are quite pleasurable so I'm not complaining. I'm more curious because it can't be a fat thing. I've lost weight. Don't think it's a diet thing. I feel amazing and my shits have been beautiful. I figured I just have early onset old man leaky asshole. 

Can one of you confirm?

Thanks

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I'm kind of offended you didn't tag me because I've created this exact same thread before.

I get anal seepage pretty regularly, although since I've started eating better and drinking a ton of water it has been far less common. 

I do get blood pretty regularly though. It's concerning but I think it's because I keep wrapping my index finger with TP and then sticking it inside my asshole to get the extra poo out. I don't think you're supposed to do that. I just don't feel comfortable with caked shit just one fart away from being splattered across my underwear like a Jackson Pollock painting.

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Here you go Adam.

Man-pon: a tightly wound paper towel or toilet paper approximately 6 inches in length that is placed between the ass cheeks to prevent... leakage. Developed in the mid-90's in response to the use of "O-lean" vegetable oil substitute which caused anal leakage in many subjects. When "O-lean" was no longer found in food products, the Man-Pon was nearly eradicated from the shelves until recently with the emergence of "Alli" a supplement that is taken for weightloss which causes a person to bypass all fats through their GI tract, resulting in a drippy anus.
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On 6/20/2020 at 12:18 AM, Don said:

Dude, such is life. Sometimes you got an itchy B-hole. Happens to the best of us. That said, I got a handheld bidet attachment a couple months back and it helps quite a bit.

I bought one of these during the great TP crisis of 2020 but I never installed it. Maybe I’ll make that my weekend project next Saturday. 

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9 hours ago, Lhalo said:

I bought one of these during the great TP crisis of 2020 but I never installed it. Maybe I’ll make that my weekend project next Saturday. 

It took all of about five minutes for me to install mine. That said, go ahead and tell the wife it’s an all day thing and just hide in the bathroom drinking beer and listening to music.

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On 6/19/2020 at 4:29 PM, Adam said:

Honestly it's probably due to my increased coffee consumption

I drink a lot of coffee too and it happens to me. Just last Saturday I was out fishing (hadn't taken a shit yet) and my asshole felt gross. I went to the bathroom and wiped and the paper was less than clean. I wondered how it was possible being that I showered and hadn't taken a shit yet. It has to be the coffee. I love coffee so much that the inconvenience of wiping throughout the day is worth it 

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