Hey Old Guys

[Adam]

@Blarg @Tank @mtangelsfan and any of you other old bastards

Recently, I've noticed that my asshole has been getting itchy and or swampy and I've been having to do some random wipes throughout the day. They are quite pleasurable so I'm not complaining. I'm more curious because it can't be a fat thing. I've lost weight. Don't think it's a diet thing. I feel amazing and my shits have been beautiful. I figured I just have early onset old man leaky asshole. 

Can one of you confirm?

Thanks

[St1ck]

I have no advice to give you.

 

[Slegnaac]

Stop eating Activia yogurt.

 

 

 

Or Keep On if that's your thing.

[Lou]

White people are strange.

[Adam]

Honestly it's probably due to my increased coffee consumption

[Tank]

I sent you a PM about your BM.

[tdawg87]

I'm kind of offended you didn't tag me because I've created this exact same thread before.

I get anal seepage pretty regularly, although since I've started eating better and drinking a ton of water it has been far less common. 

I do get blood pretty regularly though. It's concerning but I think it's because I keep wrapping my index finger with TP and then sticking it inside my asshole to get the extra poo out. I don't think you're supposed to do that. I just don't feel comfortable with caked shit just one fart away from being splattered across my underwear like a Jackson Pollock painting.

[Blarg]

6 hours ago, Adam said:

Honestly it's probably due to my increased coffee consumption

[Don]

Dude, such is life. Sometimes you got an itchy B-hole. Happens to the best of us. That said, I got a handheld bidet attachment a couple months back and it helps quite a bit.

[Redondo]

Here you go Adam.

Man-Pon

Man-pon: a tightly wound paper towel or toilet paper approximately 6 inches in length that is placed between the ass cheeks to prevent... leakage. Developed in the mid-90's in response to the use of "O-lean" vegetable oil substitute which caused anal leakage in many subjects. When "O-lean" was no longer found in food products, the Man-Pon was nearly eradicated from the shelves until recently with the emergence of "Alli" a supplement that is taken for weightloss which causes a person to bypass all fats through their GI tract, resulting in a drippy anus.

[Tank]

/in before someone wants to name their band drippy anus.

[arch stanton]

I don't care how old you are. If your ass is leaking something's wrong

[mtangelsfan]

Use the flushable wipes

[Blarg]

@Adam, tell your wife she needs to scale back on the pegging. 

[T.G.]

You guys must be fun at parties.

 

[NrM]

 

it should at least adsorb the leakage from your asshole so you don't feel uncomfortable. 

[Lhalo]

On 6/20/2020 at 12:18 AM, Don said:

Dude, such is life. Sometimes you got an itchy B-hole. Happens to the best of us. That said, I got a handheld bidet attachment a couple months back and it helps quite a bit.

I bought one of these during the great TP crisis of 2020 but I never installed it. Maybe I’ll make that my weekend project next Saturday. 

[arch stanton]

53 minutes ago, Lhalo said:

I bought one of these during the great TP crisis of 2020 but I never installed it. Maybe I’ll make that my weekend project next Saturday. 

I don't know why anyone doesn't have one

[Blarg]

@Adam is starting his own BLM crusade. 

 

#ButtLeaksMatter

[tdawg87]

1 hour ago, Lhalo said:

I bought one of these during the great TP crisis of 2020 but I never installed it. Maybe I’ll make that my weekend project next Saturday. 

Make sure you test it out first by spraying yourself with it. That way you'll know if it cleans assholes properly.

[Don]

9 hours ago, Lhalo said:

I bought one of these during the great TP crisis of 2020 but I never installed it. Maybe I’ll make that my weekend project next Saturday. 

It took all of about five minutes for me to install mine. That said, go ahead and tell the wife it’s an all day thing and just hide in the bathroom drinking beer and listening to music.

[Jason]

On 6/19/2020 at 4:29 PM, Adam said:

Honestly it's probably due to my increased coffee consumption

I drink a lot of coffee too and it happens to me. Just last Saturday I was out fishing (hadn't taken a shit yet) and my asshole felt gross. I went to the bathroom and wiped and the paper was less than clean. I wondered how it was possible being that I showered and hadn't taken a shit yet. It has to be the coffee. I love coffee so much that the inconvenience of wiping throughout the day is worth it 

[notherhalo]

It only happens to me when I drank that gimmicky "bulletproof coffee", but happened each time I had some

[NrM]

this stuff is a game changer

 

 

[Taylor]

Excellent bump, poo-zy.