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wopphil

Boredom

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What do you guys about boredom? Not like "I am bored at this moment," but more like the monotony of life.

I am 39, 3 kids, married for 13 years. I work a ton, though i love my job/career. I have a great family, and am in decent health etc. But I often find myself very bored, and struggling with getting older. I go to bed at like 9:30 most nights, and dont go a day without thinking back to when I was younger and life was more exciting. 

How do you guys deal with aging/boredom? Travel? Hobbies? Drugs? Booze? Exercise? Any advice?

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I'm 60 so go fuck your whining self.

You are at the best times of your life. You are financially secure, not living paycheck to paycheck, your kids still live at home and not because they are freeloading. As you said, you are healthy so make use of that. Take the family hiking, take them to the beach, go to some cheesy amusement park or an abandoned mine, have a picnic with cold fried chicken and potato salad with too much mayo. Do something. 

Your previous youth was a wasted affair of selfishness. Instead of being so pig headed think of just how bored your family is waiting for you to be engaged. They have to drone on with school, housework, meal prep and cleanup while Dad sits around disconnected from the one meaningful part of his life. 

Let that sink into your thick skull. Ten years from now that house is going to probably be pretty quiet and you will be wondering why you wasted that time wishing for the time already long gone.

Game night tomorrow night. Pick something that takes a long time like Monopoly and try not to win while you munch popcorn and get all of the money greasy with melted butter and enjoy the one thing you will be missing ten years from now. 

 

 

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Contentment is a choice. There are people who have a fraction of what any of us have, and yet they're able to be content. Why is that?

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Maybe living in a suburban environment without much weather variance leads to a lot of sameness that seems boring.

When I get bored I try to create something. Whether it's cooking or building stuff or writing things that very likely will never be read. You need to put your mind on something that doesn't necessarily have a set outcome

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I’m 59 and just started guitar lessons in September. Enjoying it a lot so far and making progress each week.

make sandwiches with your kids and take them to any local homeless encampment as long as it’s safe. Not too early to teach them about giving to others.

Develop some kind of hobby you can enjoy with the family. 

Take one kid out to eat at a time so you have special dedicated time just for them. Billy gets INO. Sarah goes to Taco Bell. Jimmy likes Pizza Hut. Just you and them. Make it a weekly thing if possible, or at least a monthly thing. 

do family things like Blarg suggested. Get off the couch. Be creative. Buy art supplies and make homemade cards for the grandparents for holidays. Bake cookies for the neighbors or their teachers (or if you live near YK, make cookies together to take to the local firehouse or lifeguard station). 

You wont ever have this time with your kids again, when they think the sun rises and sets because of you. You won’t be perfect but it’s better than hitting 50 with regrets for not doing something about it now.

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Some great suggestions on here. I have two daughters who are real girly girls, so as they grow older, it becomes more difficult to find common interests with them. We always make it a point to have our special one-on-one time as Tank suggested. We have found travel to be a great common interest. We all love planning our trips as much as actually taking the trip. It gives us time together working towards a common goal that we benefit from. They also try to share my love of sports and root for the Angels, NY Rangers, and NJ Giants. They know I am outnumbered 4-1 in my house, including the dog, so they put the effort in on their end as well to keep the relationship healthy.

As they are growing older, I realize the clock is ticking on how much time I’ll have them around the house, so I try to appreciate the little things we do that much more. It is scary when you finally realize you don’t have all the time in the world, and they are growing up exponentially faster every year, so appreciate the time you do have because before you know it, you’ll be that person telling the younger ones how quickly time flies by.
 

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11 hours ago, wopphil said:

What do you guys about boredom? Not like "I am bored at this moment," but more like the monotony of life.

I am 39, 3 kids, married for 13 years. I work a ton, though i love my job/career. I have a great family, and am in decent health etc. But I often find myself very bored, and struggling with getting older. I go to bed at like 9:30 most nights, and dont go a day without thinking back to when I was younger and life was more exciting. 

How do you guys deal with aging/boredom? Travel? Hobbies? Drugs? Booze? Exercise? Any advice?

This is very common for people in their middle ages, especially ones that most would say is living the good life, with a loving partner, a job that provides financial security, and kids that allow us to see a new life through their eyes. You aren't alone in this feeling. It's not something you need to attend support groups for, or anything that needs a dramatic change to fix. Usually it goes away in time, but there could be steps you can take to help you through it. One suggestion is trying to find a hobby that you can really get excited about. Tank mentioned learning to play guitar, which is a great idea. Other ideas could be kayaking, exploring some of the hundreds of hiking trails we are blessed to have here, coaching a youth sports  team, learning a new cooking style like northern Italian, watching snuff films and mixing things up in the bedroom with self asphyxiation, fishing, golfing can be both frustrating but also satisfying.

Point being your are in what is known as a rut, or a mid-life crises. You're going to be alright.

 

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8 hours ago, Taylor said:

Contentment is a choice. There are people who have a fraction of what any of us have, and yet they're able to be content. Why is that?

It’s because they’re not leftists 

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11 hours ago, wopphil said:

What do you guys about boredom? Not like "I am bored at this moment," but more like the monotony of life.

I am 39, 3 kids, married for 13 years. I work a ton, though i love my job/career. I have a great family, and am in decent health etc. But I often find myself very bored, and struggling with getting older. I go to bed at like 9:30 most nights, and dont go a day without thinking back to when I was younger and life was more exciting. 

How do you guys deal with aging/boredom? Travel? Hobbies? Drugs? Booze? Exercise? Any advice?

You gotta have some things in your life that are just for you. For me it’s been golf and horse racing.

Those are my two favorite things that don’t violate my wedding vows.

i make sure to do something that’s just for me once a month. Looking forward to it helps me get through the monotony of the day to day with a smile. 

I am fortunate that I really love going to work everyday too. 

Group texts with your buddies are great too. 

Talk to your wife about it. When you do be a little bitch and even cry if you can. She will encourage you to take some time for yourself.

 

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3 hours ago, Taylor said:

I'm a content person.

I'm also a content person, because I write and edit.

 

2 hours ago, tdawg87 said:

Go F*ck yourself with a cactus

Don’t be so grumpy!  It was cute.

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20 hours ago, wopphil said:

What do you guys about boredom? Not like "I am bored at this moment," but more like the monotony of life.

I am 39, 3 kids, married for 13 years. I work a ton, though i love my job/career. I have a great family, and am in decent health etc. But I often find myself very bored, and struggling with getting older. I go to bed at like 9:30 most nights, and dont go a day without thinking back to when I was younger and life was more exciting. 

How do you guys deal with aging/boredom? Travel? Hobbies? Drugs? Booze? Exercise? Any advice?

Ive been going thru something kind of similar lately. I’ve been feeling nostalgic about my college years. I made a lot of great friends back then and we had so much fun being young and mostly carefree. I’m still pretty young but I’m married with a kid and have moved far away. 
 

It’s interesting though because I’m perfectly happy where I am now. I have an amazing wife and watching my little girl grow up is so much fun and rewarding. When I REALLY think back to my younger years they were fun and all but my current life situation is SO much better now than it was then. My life is fulfilling now. Less exciting? In certain ways. There is something about being young and just starting out on your own that is exciting. It’s a feeling that can’t ever be replicated. But for every moment of excitement in those days there were many more times of loneliness and feeling kind of empty over all. At least there was for me.

So whenever I start feeling nostalgic and long for the past I remind myself how much better my life is now with a family of my own. Yeah it can sometimes get monotonous but so was going on first dates and playing video games until 5am. 10 years from now I’ll be feeling nostalgic for where I currently am in life and I’ll definitely have a reason to. 
 

Appreciate and be thankful for the good life you’ve had up to this point. You miss certain stages of life because they were so good to you. Don’t let that make you miss out on the even better days in the present. 

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6 minutes ago, Lhalo said:

Not sure if it’s been suggested yet but my recommendation would be to chalk up a line or two and bang a hooker. It gets the blood flowing. 

So does a knife to the wrist.

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1 hour ago, Lhalo said:

Not sure if it’s been suggested yet but my recommendation would be to chalk up a line or two and bang a hooker. It gets the blood flowing. 

I’d go this route before I made cookies for neighbors or custom gift cards for grandparents, as mentioned. I think Phil would too because he didn’t mention being gay or a housewife.

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21 minutes ago, red321 said:

I'm not sure posting on a message board populated with people who have nothing better to do than post sick lineups for a shitty local baseball team, during the offseason, is the best place to ask for advice on how to combat boredom.

I don’t know man that soccer game st1ck was at looked sick 

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