Confession

[mp170.6]

I don't get how women are (apparently) socialites in the ladies room. 

Had this discussion with a couple of women recently, I told them in the men's room, generally speaking we take our leak staring straight ahead with laser-like focus,, wash our hands, and get the F out of there without saying a word to another man. 

They said, "no way, really, you don't talk to anybody?  that's weird."

[mp170.6]

2 hours ago, calscuf said:

Wait.

You don't take a peek at the junk next to you at the urinals?  Liar.

Says the guy whose profile footer reads "i have a weiner"   

LOL

[Lhalo]

I don't take shits in public restrooms. I'm above that. 

[Stradling]

On 12/13/2017 at 4:25 PM, Brandon said:

some weird bathroom quirks:

- if someone is in a stall i won't go in the empty one and try to find another bathroom or wait. i then wash my hands like i purposely walked in to do just that instead of walking in and then out.

- solitaire seems to be my game of choice and sometimes i won't get up or finish until i beat the current game i'm playing.

- if someone takes the empty stall next to me, i generally wait it out until they leave.....it can sometimes be a game of wits.

- if someone takes a shit in a public restroom and i get a chance to see them walk out, i'll purposely look them in the eyes because they generally feel shame and look away or have that embarrassed look on their face....it's uncanny how often people feel guilt for taking a shit.

Says the guy who waits for an empty restroom to take a shit.  

[tdawg87]

I have IBS so I have literally no choice. At this point in my life I'll shit anywhere at any time, under any circumstances. 

My biggest issue is I always end up spending 10 minutes wiping because it's like pulling peanut butter off a shag carpet. And then I end up having to re-wipe an hour later because my butthole starts to itch. Tbh there's not many feelings better than scratching an itchy asshole. I imagine it's like when you scratch behind a dog's ear and they start to shake their leg. 

 

[arch stanton]

1 hour ago, LHalo said:

I don't take shits in public restrooms. I'm above that. 

Now that I'm the boss I just leave work and go home if I can't hold it

[Brandon]

55 minutes ago, Stradling said:

Says the guy who waits for an empty restroom to take a shit.  

glad to see the self-deprecation didn't go over your head.

[Stradling]

2 minutes ago, Brandon said:

glad to see the self-deprecation didn't go over your head.

Whoosh

[Adam]

On 12/13/2017 at 8:54 PM, notherhalo said:

I've taken a pic of an impressive whopper and texted it to my friend

I do that 2-3 times per week

[Tank]

5 hours ago, tdawg87 said:

I have IBS so I have literally no choice. At this point in my life I'll shit anywhere at any time, under any circumstances. 

My biggest issue is I always end up spending 10 minutes wiping because it's like pulling peanut butter off a shag carpet. And then I end up having to re-wipe an hour later because my butthole starts to itch. Tbh there's not many feelings better than scratching an itchy asshole. I imagine it's like when you scratch behind a dog's ear and they start to shake their leg. 

 

well, this is helpful news. if you ever come to an aw event and your leg starts twitching, we'll know why.

[mp170.6]

9 hours ago, Stradling said:

Says the guy who waits for an empty restroom to take a shit.  

Hey Stradling, how often do you take a shit at In-N-Out restaurants?

[mp170.6]

22 minutes ago, calscuf said:

Do you guys use the ass gaskets?  I gave up a few years ago and it's been liberating. 

Never sit inside of my car.  Or my house. 

Your pants are not a thick enough buffer zone. 

[Jason]

2 hours ago, calscuf said:

Do you guys use the ass gaskets?  I gave up a few years ago and it's been liberating. 

I usually do except on really hot and sweaty days. Those things break apart all over your ass and you'll find pieces of it in your underwear later on. It's really annoying

[Stradling]

2 hours ago, mp170.6 said:

Hey Stradling, how often do you take a shit at In-N-Out restaurants?

It is my second favorite place to deuce it out.  Hell they are cleaned better than any of our rest rooms at home.  My normal “routine” is a late morning shit.  So it usually happens before we open our stores at 10am.  

[Tank]

3 hours ago, calscuf said:

Do you guys use the ass gaskets?  I gave up a few years ago and it's been liberating. 

absolutely. this was the first place i ever heard that term used and i LOL a little bit every time i pull one out.

[wopphil]

I am a proponent of the ass gasket  (courtesy of management). However, the shape of the toilet seats at my work aren't very conducive to the gasket. It helps when someone has pre-warmed the seat and the gasket sort of vacuum seals itself. I also don't like how the gasket touches and adheres to my tip. But I am certain it has prevented me from catching hepatitis.

[Adam]

I'm about to shit right now. Should be the first of the day. In such cases, no gasket

[mp170.6]

16 hours ago, Stradling said:

It is my second favorite place to deuce it out.  Hell they are cleaned better than any of our rest rooms at home.  My normal “routine” is a late morning shit.  So it usually happens before we open our stores at 10am.  

What happens if you don't make it and spray the wall with liquid morsels of Stradling?

Do you tell your restaurant staff to clean it up, or get the hell out of there?

[Stradling]

1 hour ago, mp170.6 said:

What happens if you don't make it and spray the wall with liquid morsels of Stradling?

Do you tell your restaurant staff to clean it up, or get the hell out of there?

You'll be the first to know when that is an actual thing that happens to me.  Does that happen to normal healthy (if being fat can still be healthy) guys in their 40's?

[mp170.6]

1 hour ago, Stradling said:

You'll be the first to know when that is an actual thing that happens to me.  Does that happen to normal healthy (if being fat can still be healthy) guys in their 40's?

LOL   I have no idea.

[Blarg]

On 12/18/2017 at 8:37 AM, Adam said:

I do that 2-3 times per week

One more time and I'm blocking your number. 

[Rico]

My shit the other day looked like a yuge black man's dick.

[Blarg]

58 minutes ago, Rico said:

My shit the other day looked like a yuge black man's dick.

I really wish you guys were Catholic and could lay this stuff on the priest in confessional.

[Brandon]

there's a distinct difference between a huge black man's dick and a black man's huge dick.

[T.G.]

That would be the worst...