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Last Week in Angels Baseball – The Imperfect 10 Edition

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 photo Bo_zpsvyd1zrbg.jpg

By Glen McKee, Chronicler of Misery - 

Life is all about moments.  Life is incredibly long if you’re lucky, but it all comes down to moments. I had a moment yesterday.  On Saturday I started writing this LWIB in my head (second drafts are for professionals, much life coffee is for closers) and at the time the Angels had lost eight in a row.  My ideas were all based on the Angels continuing that losing streak to 10 games.  I was busy on Sunday but when I finally got to check the score, I had my first moment.  It was 4-1 Angels, and for once I was upset about the Angels winning.  I’d have to start all over and use my imagination again.  Shit!  I went about my business and checked the score later, and had my second moment.  The score was now 4-3 Angels.  I closed my MLB app with confidence, knowing at that moment that we’d hit the ignoble 10 mark.  And here we are.  I picked Bo Derek to be the headline photo because she’s also an imperfect 10. Don’t get me wrong, she’s hot and all of that, but she’s a white woman with cornrows.That’s just ridiculous.  There’s only one white woman I know who might be able to pull of that look:

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But I digress.  On to the misery!

The Bad.  You know this is gonna be the longest part.  We just lost 10 in a row, proving that 10 isn’t always a good number.  I remember when I was a wee lad and one of my favorite bands back then, Y & T, released an album named “10.”  It was bad, but at least the cover had something going on:

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I think there’s a spider on her ceiling and she’s trying to find it.  A little over a year later Pearl Jam released this album, and most people (not me!) forgot about hair metal:

 photo PearlJam_zpsjjloeffp.jpg

Some would call that a perfect 10, and if that’s your thing then good on ya, mate.  OK, on to the bad. We’ve already covered the record so let’s look at the performances.

- The Starting Pitching.  God-awful is the phrase that comes to mind.  Here are the stats for the week for each of our starters.  Jered Weaver: 10.1 IP, 7.84 ERA.  Tim Lincecum got sent down to the minors after his last start.  Tyler Skaggs: 5.0 IP, 12.60 ERA.  Jhoulys Chacin: 1.1 IP, 47.25 ERA (he starts again tomorrow, by the way).  Did somebody say Jewel?

 photo Jewel_zps6jlwb00u.jpg

- Mike Trout.  To be fair, I could pick just about anybody on the offense and throw them in here, but August is always cruel to Trout.  Last week: .188 average, 1 HR.  

- Albert Pujols.  As bad as Trout was, Pujols was worse.  .105, 0 HR, 3 RBI.

- The bullpen. Actually, upon further research the entire bullpen hasn’t been bad (especially considering who we have and how much they have to pitch) but there have been a few stinkers.  The first that comes to mind is JC Ramirez: 4.0 IP, 9.00 ERA.  I hope that next year we don’t have any pitchers on our staff who go by their first two initials.  It hasn’t worked out for us this year.
- The Tyler Skaggs/Geovany Soto combo.  The Indians stole seven bases off of them, and then added an extra SB against Guerra/Soto.  That’s embarrassing.  
The good.  Finding the good in the midst of a 10-game winning streak is a bit like looking for (thanks, tdawg) a clean peanut.  There was some good, though.  Let’s focus on that for a bit.
- Ricky Nolasco.  He only started once last week but he pitched six innings and only gave up two earned runs.  That’s what MLB likes to call a quality start, and without looking I’m guessing it’s the only one the Angels have had during this streak.  At this point, I’ll take it and hope he builds on it tonight.
- Nick Buss.  I’m so desperate for good performances from the offense that I’ll go with a guy who only had six AB but got two hits, for a .333 average.  I’m getting on board the Buss (no homo!) and there’s plenty of room if you want to join me.
- Jose Alvarez.  I’m so desperate for good performances from the bullpen that I’ll go with a guy who only made two appearances but pitched 2.2 innings with no earned runs.  
- Mike (get a brain!) Morin.  3.1 IP, 0 ER.  Maybe he’s finally become the reliever we hoped he’d be.  
- Rosario Dawson.  Honestly, I have no idea how her week went.  For all I know she could have got turned down for a movie or TV show she really wanted, or her car had a flat tire, or some of her investments soured.  Who knows?  But I’m out of good performances for the Angels and this gives me an excuse to post a picture of her.
 photo Dawson_zpsf3vju6og.jpg

The rest.  Let’s see, we’re past the trade deadline so nothing is gonna happen on that front.  If you’re interested, in the last week Hector Santiago has pitched 9.1 innings to an ERA of 10.61.  EpPler wins again!  Mike Scioscia is still manager and will be until my daughter is in high school.

 photo SoshlAUGH_zpssemsunvz.jpg

The week ahead.  Four at home against the Mariners and three at home against the Yankees.  It’s EpPler versus DiPoto, and then the Angels against the team that they used to dominate but that was about six years ago or something.  I’m gonna boldly predict that the losing streak will end during this week.  It’s a bold prediction, Cotton.  We’ll see how it works out.  Speaking of predictions…

Predictions.  Since I took a few weeks off I’m going to reset my count to 0-0 and just count the rest of the season.  Seattle has vague playoff hopes (I said vague) (2.5 games out of the second WC spot) so they have something to play for.  The Yankees aren’t much further behind but have already thrown in the towel on the season.  1-3 versus the Mariners and 1-2 versus the Yanks.  Post your pics below, and if you get them correct, near correct, or even completely wrong, give yourself a treat of some sort at the end of the week.  You deserve it for sticking with this team.

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3 hours ago, Glen said:

Glad to. My goal for next week is to get a 'libturd" or "STFU, lefty" in it.


Question:  Why did you select a picture of Bo from 10 with the crop above the bewbs?  


I'll hang up and take your answer off the air.



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2 hours ago, Geoff said:


Question:  Why did you select a picture of Bo from 10 with the crop above the bewbs?  


I'll hang up and take your answer off the air.



Probably for the same reason I didn't use the gif below in place of the Rosario Dawson pic.  Because I'm and idoit.



rosario-dawson clerks 4.gif

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