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Help Wanted: Major League Baseball Players


Wealthy, frustrated owner desires major league baseball players to fill roster of struggling, under-performing club.

Qualified coaches may also apply for positions soon to be open.


Qualifications: Players and coaches must be able to stay awake and concentrate during the entire course of a game.

Hitters should be able to identify pitches in the strike zone and react accordingly. Pitchers must be willing to pound the strike zone and challenge opposing hitters. No nibblers or scaredy-cats, please. Above all, players must have a deep desire to win on a daily basis. 


Pay: Competitive and obscene.


Send resume and contact information to Mr. Arte Moreno, Angels Stadium, Anaheim, CA.








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