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Extended Family


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I have some aunts and uncles in their 80's and 90's who live on the other side of the country.  They won't be around much longer and I really don't know their kids (aka: my cousins).  I wouldn't recognize them on the street or remember their names if they showed up unannounced.  We've never had much interaction because of the long distance between us -- there's no animosity, we're just strangers to one another. 

 

Once their parents die off, this will probably be the end of our familial ties as cousins, such as they are.  My extended family in about ten years will be counted on one or two hands. Kind of depressing when I stop to think about it.

 

How many of you are in a similar situation? 

 

 

 

 

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Most of our extended family is scattered across the states. This isn't the 1900's anymore where families remain in the same geographical area so the distance usually creates a disconnect for our generation that was used to contact through mail via Christmas cards.

I have noticed my son's keep in contact with their cousins not because of geography but social media. Whereas a letter would take time, papers, envelopes and stamps the ease of Facebook or even a simple text takes seconds. They have grown up in the habit and so the connection to each other is continued past infrequent family gatherings.

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I have a good grasp on where all my cousins are at and I have 14 on my dad's side and just over 30 on my mom's side.  We do family reunions on both my mom and dad's family every 5 years.  Us mormons are crazy about stuff like this though.  Family history and keeping in contact with our family ties is an important part of our beliefs.  

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How does the saying go - you love your family but you don't have to like them.  My extended family consists of 2 uncles, one of which is married with 2 kids (nothing in common with any of them), a cousin to my mom/uncles and all of them live out of state.  Everyone else that used to be a part of this group has passed away or now lives out of the country and won't be coming back any time soon.  We have family back east and in Washington and I couldn't pick any of them out of a line up nor have I ever talked to any of them.  As others said family is more about the people you choose to be closest with and for me that's my friends who are there for me if I need them and vice versa.  

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my mom's side of the family live mostly around peoria, illinois. we know them by name but i haven't seen most of them since 1992 when my grandmother died. they don't really travel outside of that area, and they never come this way.

 

when we there in '80, my mom's oldest brother decided to leave on vacation one day after we arrived. could have left any time he wanted, but chose to leave then. it left an impression.

 

one of my cousins went to law school here at pepperdine. was here for three years and never called us once. didn't know he was even out here until his third year of school. pretty much sums up my relationship with most of my cousins from that branch of the family tree.

 

my dad's side was much smaller. my aunt and uncle and my three cousins lived two blocks away from us so we saw them quite a bit - except for holidays. my dad and his brother argued constantly and ruined the only thanksgiving we spent together. i rarely see these cousins anymore but we keep in touch via facebook.

Edited by Tank
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You guys are my family.

 

Ha!  Funny, but kind of true.

 

There are members of my family across the country that I haven't talked to in years.  Probably won't until/unless someone dies or gets married.  I love them.  But I love them in the way that I love my fellow human beings.  If they died, I would be bummed ... a little sad.  But, my day would move on. 

 

There are people on this board that I would absolutely breakdown if they passed away.  

 

Some friends are more family than some family. 

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my mom's side of the family live mostly around peoria, illinois. we know them by name but i haven't seen most of them since 1992 when my grandmother died. they don't really travel outside of that area, and they never come this way.

 

when we there in '80, my mom's oldest brother decided to leave on vacation one day after we arrived. could have left any time he wanted, but chose to leave then. it left an impression.

 

one of my cousins went to law school here at pepperdine. was here for three years and never called us once. didn't know he was even out here until his third year of school. pretty much sums up my relationship with most of my cousins from that branch of the family tree.

 

my dad's side was much smaller. he and my three cousins lived two blocks away from us so we saw them quite a bit - except for holidays. my dad and his brother argued constantly and ruined the only thanksgiving we spent together. i rarely see these cousins anymore but we keep in touch via facebook.

 

When you serve Tofurkey, every Thanksgiving is ruined.

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Ha!  Funny, but kind of true.

 

There are members of my family across the country that I haven't talked to in years.  Probably won't until/unless someone dies or gets married.  I love them.  But I love them in the way that I love my fellow human beings.  If they died, I would be bummed ... a little sad.  But, my day would move on. 

 

There are people on this board that I would absolutely breakdown if they passed away.  

 

Some friends are more family than some family. 

 

It's funny but if I've met someone on the board I read their posts in their voice and sometimes see their facial expressions.

 

Never met Arch so his avatar is his voice plus a couple pack a day habit.

 

Even though I've met Glen I still hear Bender most of the time.

 

It's an improvement.

 

;)

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Most of my remaining family is cousins in maritime Canada. For reasons still unknown to me my mother never wanted contact with them. I met some of them briefly during visits to Newfoundland, but I have lost all contact. All that is left is my sister and her family, an aunt and uncle in San Antonio (who are in their 90s) and their three children (my cousins) scattered about the country. I am only in contact with my sister.

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I am the opposite as well.  I have 9 aunts/uncles, 10 cousins, both living grandparents all living between mission viejo and agoura hills.  Even all of my in laws are in the area except for my brother/sister in laws in Utah but they are moving back to so cal later this year.  It's rare when there is a weekend when I don't see any of them (like I go out of town only with the wife rare).

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