Random Thoughts Thread

[Tank]

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS 2020

Carole L. Campbell

Twas the year 2020, and all through the house

every creature was stirring, from Human to Mouse.

The stockings were tossed on the chimney, who cares,

it's been months since we entertained, would Saint Nick even dare?

The children were nestled all snug in their beds as visions of rubber gloves danced in their heads.

and Mama in her gaiter and me and my mask,

had just settled our brains for a long cleaning task.

When out on the roof there arose such a clatter.

I sprang from my mop to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I flew like a flash.

I peeked through the shutter, barely touching the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow,

gave me faith that someday we'd have somewhere to go.

When what do my wondering eyes should appear,

but a miniature sleigh, and eight spotless reindeer.

With a little old driver decked out in full gear,

I knew in a moment we'd have Christmas this year!

More safely than Hazmat the reindeer they came,

and he whistled and shouted and called them by name.

Now Clorox! Now Pine-Sol! Now Lysol and Purex!

On Comet! On Purell! On Top Job and Germ-X!

Wipe the top of the porch! Then the top of the wall!

Now wipe away! Wipe away! Wipe away all!

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,

when they finished and then took a jump to the sky.

So up to the housetop the reindeer they flew.

With a sleigh full of masks, and Saint Nicholas too!

And then in a twinkling I heard on the roof,

the pawing of each little rubber gloved hoof.

As I pulled up my mask and was turning around,

Down the chimney a big bucket came with a bound!

It was covered in plastic from bottom to top,

and the contents were sterile, despite the long drop.

I missed seeing his eyes and his dimples so merry.

But this virus prevents that, these times are so scary.

I imagined his face and his little round belly,

That shook when he laughed like hand sanitizer jelly.

but I saw him outside though, as he stood near his sleigh,

and I laughed when I saw him, from six feet away..

With a wink of his eye and a wave of his hand,

I felt warm inside, Santa too understands.

And without a word I went right to my work.

I filled all our stockings, then turned with a jerk

And laying a finger aside of his mask,

The reindeer rose up, they had finished their task.

He waved to me then, to his team gave a shout,

and socially distancing, quickly flew out.

But I heard him proclaim as he drove out of sight,

Merry Christmas to all, we will all be all right.

 

 

[gotbeer]

So help me out here.  I've been noticing a phenomena when driving lately.  Drivers will stop 1 sometimes 2 car lengths before the crosswalk at a stoplight.  I've even seen drivers stop a few car lengths behind me.  Easy answer is Koreans.  But I'm seeing this every day, sometimes multiple times from different cars.  Is there a reason?  Are people afraid of the Rona so much, that they don't want to be close to someone crossing the crosswalk?  

[T.G.]

54 minutes ago, gotbeer said:

So help me out here.  I've been noticing a phenomena when driving lately.  Drivers will stop 1 sometimes 2 car lengths before the crosswalk at a stoplight.  I've even seen drivers stop a few car lengths behind me.  Easy answer is Koreans.  But I'm seeing this every day, sometimes multiple times from different cars.  Is there a reason?  Are people afraid of the Rona so much, that they don't want to be close to someone crossing the crosswalk?  

 

 

[Angels_Make_Me_Drink]

So my mother in law was killed last Monday unexpectedly and I'm just really angry at the world right now that my 2 year old son has to grow up without his grandma and my wife is 13 weeks pregnant with our 2nd child and we never told her. Life is really aggravating sometimes. 

[T.G.]

5 hours ago, Angels_Make_Me_Drink said:

So my mother in law was killed last Monday unexpectedly and I'm just really angry at the world right now that my 2 year old son has to grow up without his grandma and my wife is 13 weeks pregnant with our 2nd child and we never told her. Life is really aggravating sometimes. 

So sorry to hear that. I can’t even imagine...

it might not mean much, but I am truly praying for you and your family.

[Tank]

17 hours ago, Angels_Make_Me_Drink said:

So my mother in law was killed last Monday unexpectedly and I'm just really angry at the world right now that my 2 year old son has to grow up without his grandma and my wife is 13 weeks pregnant with our 2nd child and we never told her. Life is really aggravating sometimes. 

Oh man, that’s awful. Praying for you and your family.

[PattyD22]

So before putting up the Christmas lights, it’s always a good idea to pre-check the lights to make sure the burned out bulbs are swapped out.

Why the hell is it that after you put the lights up, that there are no less than 17 bulbs that need to be swapped out, most of them in the most inaccessible part of the roof?

Its like you’re on Candid Camera or something.

[Blarg]

I had one missing bulb cover. It was at ground level. You must be doing this wrong or still have strings from 30 years ago.

The best part of the newer led strings is you almost cannot over load a circuit. I used to have to plot out the three or four different extension cords so a line wouldn't fry. Then it was multiple timers to kill them after a given hour. Now everything is hooked up to the porch light. 

[PattyD22]

2 hours ago, Blarg said:

I had one missing bulb cover. It was at ground level. You must be doing this wrong or still have strings from 30 years ago.

The best part of the newer led strings is you almost cannot over load a circuit. I used to have to plot out the three or four different extension cords so a line wouldn't fry. Then it was multiple timers to kill them after a given hour. Now everything is hooked up to the porch light. 

I do Blarg.  I still use the all white, C9 bulbs.  I’m a creature of habit.

[Blarg]

I finally retired those two years ago. Too many bulbs that croaked, like you said, in tough areas to reach and always a day or two after the string was up. We did go with an all white theme on the house, lights with different colors for the ground cover. Now it is all multicolor but I think I still like the other way around.

[Tank]

as a kid, i loved having lights on our house. as an adult, i hate the task of trying to do it so i've never hung them. add in the fact that where i've lived has either been terribly difficult to hang them or we were in an apartment or a really old house with pathetically few outlets for such things, and we don't do outdoor lights. the inside of our house is very festive thanks to my daughter and wife. i just watch football and make a lot of snide remarks now.

[Redondo]

LED lights are the way to go now.

Less power and bulbs don't burn out.

[Keener]

[T.G.]

Has anyone seen @WeatherWonk?

[Blarg]

I think he is at some dive bar in Guatemala trying to steal their WiFi. 

[Jason]

On 12/14/2020 at 3:04 PM, Tank said:

as a kid, i loved having lights on our house. as an adult, i hate the task of trying to do it so i've never hung them. add in the fact that where i've lived has either been terribly difficult to hang them or we were in an apartment or a really old house with pathetically few outlets for such things, and we don't do outdoor lights. the inside of our house is very festive thanks to my daughter and wife. i just watch football and make a lot of snide remarks now.

When we had our house built in 2002 I had the builder place outlets under the eaves on both ends of the house just for Christmas lights. Makes it so much easier 

[notherhalo]

Eating wasabi and stubbing your toe both are intense feelings that dont last too long.

[T.G.]

35 minutes ago, notherhalo said:

Eating wasabi and stubbing your toe both are intense feelings that dont last too long.

Next time you stub your toe, rub some wasabi on it.

[Lou]

1 hour ago, notherhalo said:

Eating wasabi and stubbing your toe both are intense feelings that dont last too long.

Justin Upton disagrees.

[T.G.]

I love Tillamook chocolate ice cream. Seriously, it’s awesome.

[notherhalo]

Im definitely getting dumber as I get older

[Tank]

13 hours ago, notherhalo said:

Eating wasabi and stubbing your toe both are intense feelings that dont last too long.

What if you stub your toe while eating wasabi?

[arch stanton]

24 minutes ago, Tank said:

What if you stub your toe while eating wasabi?

It blocks out the intense burning sensation in your sinuses thus rendering the wasabi pointless

[notherhalo]

1 hour ago, Tank said:

What if you stub your toe while eating wasabi?

whao

[T.G.]

6 hours ago, notherhalo said:

Im definitely getting dumber as I get older

The older I get the smarter I used to be.