Weekend Shenanigans: Paper late edition [Part I]

[DowningRules]

Editor's Note:  I wrote this on September 1, but didn't finish it.  So it's a little late.  Rather than throw it in the trash, I thought I might as well post it.  Just in case there's some She-fan-igans out there.

 

 

It’s Monday night, September 1, 10:01.  I’m about 3/4ths of the way through the motion picture “Earthquake.”  I planned to turn it off about 2/3rds ago, but I can’t.  Every line in this movie is a declaration of some kind.  Charlton Heston could slaughter something like “Pass the salt,” like no other.

 

It’s been a busy weekend with so many assorted shenanigans.  My niece has moved here from Spain to begin her American university experience.  She stayed with me this weekend and, never having had kids, it was an Uncle DowningRules experience.  More about this later.

 

One year ago today – about 5pm - I was sitting in my house.  I wasn’t in the greatest of spirits.  It was the first Labor Day without my wife and the change of seasons cast a particular gloom on what should’ve been a fun, end-of-summer weekend like everyone else was having.

 

My brother the wine maker texted me to see if I was home and did I have any of his wine around to give to the sister of one of his childhood friends.  He wanted her to have a bottle of his hooch so she could maybe write about it.  I didn’t want to be bothered.  I was more content putting my sad sack Lena Dunham face on and pouting around the house, cursing the hand I had been dealt.

 

So, I set the bottle out on the doorstep, attaching a post-it with the sister’s name on it.  I closed the door and locked it.  After some consideration, I realized I had to open the door and maybe invite some new energy in.  I knew the sister back in the day and she was cool.  And very pretty.  She was much more popular than me and I was into my own thing so we never really spent any time together.  (My AngelsWin destiny of sitting behind a keyboard in a dark room was set early on).

 

I realized that shenanigans were good for the soul and therefore, unlocked the front door. And kept the door open, a little anxious about what I’d say and how I’d interact.  When people say they’re in a daze after some sort of life changing experience, I now know what they mean.  I never gave it much consideration before.  It was just another saying we become immune to.

 

After my wife passed, I was in a haze and a daze.  Still am sometimes, especially when I have flashbacks to the particularly bad moments she endured.  On September 1, 2013, deep in the haze and daze, it felt like the world was spinning around me.  (There’s a good song by Steve Miller called “I Want to Make the World Turn Around" from 1986.  It’s used in an episode of Miami Vice to great affect.  It describes my mood on that day).

 

I was very aware of every word I said, every pronunciation, every movement I made.  For whatever reason, it seemed to me that people could tell I was ‘off’ so I was hypersensitive about everything I did which in turn made me look like I was ‘off.’ 

 

The childhood friend came to the door.  I hadn’t seen her in many years.  I invited her in and the first thing she said was that she was sorry to hear about my wife.  She stuttered a bit.  She was self-conscious too, and I was immediately at ease.

 

A lot of this is in previous shenanigans so I apologize for the redundancy, but it leads to today.

 

Labor Day, 2014 is the one year ‘anniversary’ of (re)-meeting Date Chick.  And we’ve been pretty much inseparable ever since.  As part of her job, she goes to a lot of restaurant openings, concerts, store openings, fundraisers, and assorted other functions requiring a lot of socializing.  I go to a lot of these with her which is nuts considering I was a shut-in before Labor Day, 2013.  Now, I have about 25 new acquaintances I see at these events and we’ve gotten to know one another on a “what’s up?” level.  Nothing deep, but I am now 99% non-haze conversational.  The door was left open and this is what happens.

 

I’ve written before that when my wife was going through her first round of radiation, she told me that she didn’t think she would make it.  And if she didn’t, she wanted me to grieve and feel sad.  Then go meet someone and be happy since I was too young to be alone the rest of my life.  The conversation is so vivid.  I can easily picture where I was driving on the 73 freeway when she told me this. 

 

I didn’t want to hear it at the time, refusing to believe that she would not get past the monster she was battling.  She’d always attacked bad situations, and there was no reason for me to believe she wouldn’t figure this one out, too.

 

But she couldn’t.  She passed away October 28, 2012, and I still light a candle for her every night.

 

She’s the one who delivered Date Chick to my doorstep.  I’m convinced.  And it was a fantastic delivery.  Date Chick posted on her facebook about our ‘anniversary,’ and she got over 500 likes.  People are happy for her. 

 

 

[Tank]

people are happy for you too, DR.

[BaseballMom]

I am so glad you didn't trash this one.   

[Taylor]

There's such a great metaphor in here about leaving the door open and allowing life to surprise you. Thanks for sharing this, DR.

[Ray McKigney]

Good stuff. So happy for you. Keep the flame lit. 

[Splint7438]

((((DR)))) thank you for sharing. We have all loved and most of us have lost. We can't all face it or process it correctly. It is encouraging to see that you are. Am very happy for you.

[Vladfan]

Glad to hear about your anniversary. I can really relate to the haze you wrote about. It was something I dealt with for a year until I met my new wife. I also feel like she was delivered to me from my late wife.

 

Glad to hear that all is well. 

[DowningRules]

Glad to hear about your anniversary. I can really relate to the haze you wrote about. It was something I dealt with for a year until I met my new wife. I also feel like she was delivered to me from my late wife.

 

Glad to hear that all is well. 

 

I haven't had to endure what members of our military have gone through, but I would nearly classify it as a form of PTSD.  It's just the weirdest thing. Life on Mars.  I'm sorry that you had to deal with a similar situation Vladfan, but it brings me some comfort that I'm not the only one who went through the haze.  It is probably common, but at the time, it's the loneliest feeling in the world and you can't imagine things getting better. 

[halobob]

Glad to hear things are going well for you with Date Chick!  Thanks for posting the shenanigans DR!

[halomatt]

You inspire me.  Thanks.

[Vegas Halo Fan]

You definitely have a gift for writing. I have enjoyed every one of these, and I have felt your emotions in each one of them - not an easy thing to convey in words, and not everyone can do it. I am definitely a fan of Shenanigans, and although I have missed seeing these for a while I left you alone about it. I knew that you would share with us again when the time was right.

 

Thanks for not discarding what you had written before, and thanks for taking us along on your journey.

Edited September 11, 2014 by Vegas Halo Fan