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Player Poetry
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Chuck Richter
Posted 2013-02-01 7:21 AM (#1931862)
Subject: Player Poetry



Hall of Famer

Posts: 29182

Location: AngelsWin.com: Where Angels Fans Are @

Player Poetry

http://impliedmortality.files.wordpress.com/2011/03/baseball1.jpg

By Jessica Grey - AngelsWin.com Feature Writer

Although I consider watching baseball a full time job my actual day job is writing stuff.  Okay, not quite. My actual day job is running around after two preschoolers and a hyperactive puppy.  My writing stuff job gets done at night.

This may come as a shock to you, but most baseball games happen at night.  I like to say there are two seasons: baseball season and the season I actually get work done.  I’ve tried to write and watch Angels games at the same time - this could partially explain why so many baseball players show up in my novels. What usually happens is I end up on Twitter talking about the game with fellow fans.  And sometimes finding baseball commonality with other writers.  Which is how I was challenged by a tweep to write a haiku about Mark Trumbo’s home run power. 

So I did.
 
And I liked it. So I took some requests and wrote a few more about other Angels players.  I like to pretend that I’m stretching my writerly brain, so it’s beneficial to be writing Japanese style poetry about ball players.  In reality, it’s just tons of fun.

What is a haiku you ask?  Well, You, I’m thrilled you want to know.  Haiku is a very short form of Japanese poetry with a restricted number of syllables.  It’s most traditionally done in three lines arranged like this: 5 syllables / 7 syllables / 5 syllables - and by most traditionally I mean this is how it gets taught in high school English.  For more on traditional haiku check out this hand dandy Wikipedia article. I completely geek out over this stuff, but I’ll sum up by saying: haikus are awesome.

But don’t take my word for it!  Let’s unveil some Angels baseball haikus, shall we?

Trumbo
sharp crack of the bat
the crowd roars: the outfield gapes
softly the pitcher cries

Those of you with sharp eyes and killer syllable counting skills will note I used six syllables on that last line instead of five. Le gasp!  This is what happens when you write poetry on Twitter, people! However, I like the line. Therefore, it stays as is.

So after my Trumbo haiku I got a request for a Haren and Trout ones.

Haren (or maybe I should call it “In Memoriam”)
steel eyed gun slinger
hurling white leather bullets
slaying our rivals

Trout
infield sentinels
guarding the bases: he laughs
and steals them anyway

Here’s the thing about haiku: it’s only seventeen syllables! You really have to narrow down what you want to focus on.  In Trout’s case I picked stealing bases but I could have picked a bazillion and one other things (this is not an exaggeration).  And this is where you come in! 

Chuck here at AngelsWin.com has challenged me to do haikus for the entire starting line up!  That’s a lot of poems (short though they are)!  I’d like your help picking attributes to focus on for each player.  It was a really good thing I got specific instructions for my first one, or my Trumbo haiku might have looked like this:

Trumbo
Forty-four: fangirl.
I fangirl. Fangirl so hard
And now I am dead.

Okay, it might have been slightly more coherent than that.  Slightly.  Maybe.

So here is your starting line up:

1B: Albert Pujols
2B: Howie Kendrick
SS: Erick Aybar
3B: Alberto Callaspo
LF: Mike Trout
CF: Peter Bourjos
RF: Josh Hamilton
C:   Chris Iannetta
DH: Mark Trumbo

SP: Jered Weaver
SP: C.J. Wilson
SP: Jason Vargas
SP: Tommy Hanson
SP: Joe Blanton

RP: Ryan Madson
RP: Ernesto Frieri
RP: Scott Downs

Manager: Mike Scioscia

Tell me how you’d like your favorites immortalized in short form Japanese style poetry OR try your hand at haiku yourself!  Leave your suggestions in the Facebook comments or on the forums.

I look forward to writing some more Angels haiku!

You can find Jessica online at www.authorjessicagrey.com
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HaloMagic
Posted 2013-02-01 7:40 AM (#1931864 - in reply to #1931862)
Subject: Re: Player Poetry



Hall of Fame

Posts: 5418

Good writing Jessica.

Personally I'd like to see some Angels limericks.

There once was a player named Weaver
Who if you saw you'd think loved the beaver
But he said when he plays
He doesn't mind gays
So I think he might have the queer fever.
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cezero
Posted 2013-02-01 7:44 AM (#1931865 - in reply to #1931862)
Subject: Re: Player Poetry



Arkansas Travelers

Posts: 660

i'm actually teaching creative writing this semester, and this is a great lesson idea.

i think i'll have my kids do a haiku about their favorite sports star, and maybe also a villanelle or sestina.

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NJHalo
Posted 2013-02-01 7:51 AM (#1931866 - in reply to #1931862)
Subject: Re: Player Poetry




On our bench sits Vernon Wells the Third
His play resembles a turd
He suckered Toronto for 126 million bucks
Now he's ours because Reagins sucks
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Wallerrrr
Posted 2013-02-01 7:53 AM (#1931868 - in reply to #1931862)
Subject: Re: Player Poetry



Hall of Fame

Posts: 12061

Location: CA
awesome Jessica...good stuff

ps..well done HaloMagic
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HaloMagic
Posted 2013-02-01 7:54 AM (#1931869 - in reply to #1931865)
Subject: Re: Player Poetry



Hall of Fame

Posts: 5418

Wells

Gold Glove Outfielder
High average and ribbies
Where did that guy go?
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GlenM
Posted 2013-02-01 8:09 AM (#1931875 - in reply to #1931862)
Subject: Re: Player Poetry




Behind home plate - space
Athleticism is gone.
We miss you, Jeffy.
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GlenM
Posted 2013-02-01 8:15 AM (#1931880 - in reply to #1931862)
Subject: Re: Player Poetry




Arm in a windmill
No stopping at third, go home
Dino Ebel rocks
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gotbeer
Posted 2013-02-01 8:30 AM (#1931883 - in reply to #1931862)
Subject: Re: Player Poetry



Hall of Fame

Posts: 20685

I Japanese guy,
Sense, no make when drunk posting,
Angels, go power pig sky
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GlenM
Posted 2013-02-01 8:39 AM (#1931891 - in reply to #1931864)
Subject: Re: Player Poetry




HaloMagic - 2013-02-01 7:40 AM

Good writing Jessica.

Personally I'd like to see some Angels limericks.

There once was a player named Weaver
Who if you saw you'd think loved the beaver
But he said when he plays
He doesn't mind gays
So I think he might have the queer fever.





That's gonna be hard to top.
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Chuck Richter
Posted 2013-02-01 8:56 AM (#1931898 - in reply to #1931864)
Subject: Re: Player Poetry



Hall of Famer

Posts: 29182

Location: AngelsWin.com: Where Angels Fans Are @
HaloMagic - 2013-02-01 7:40 AM

Good writing Jessica.

Personally I'd like to see some Angels limericks.

There once was a player named Weaver
Who if you saw you'd think loved the beaver
But he said when he plays
He doesn't mind gays
So I think he might have the queer fever.


Nice on HM.
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Adam
Posted 2013-02-01 9:01 AM (#1931900 - in reply to #1931898)
Subject: Re: Player Poetry



Hall of Fame

Posts: 41009

Location: A Cozy Office
We should have a limerick contest
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HaloMagic
Posted 2013-02-01 9:11 AM (#1931903 - in reply to #1931862)
Subject: Re: Player Poetry



Hall of Fame

Posts: 5418

You'd think that Wells couldn't look dumber
He proved he could near the end of the summer.
When he jumped for a ball
And fell over the wall.
But he got up unharmed. What a bummer.

Edited by HaloMagic 2013-02-01 10:20 AM
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gotbeer
Posted 2013-02-01 9:17 AM (#1931907 - in reply to #1931903)
Subject: Re: Player Poetry



Hall of Fame

Posts: 20685

HaloMagic - 2013-02-01 9:11 AM

You'd think that Wells couldn't looked dumber
He proved he could near the end of the summer.
When he jumped for a ball
And fell over the wall.
But he got up unharmed. What a bummer.


LOL.

And Halomagic would win the limmerick contest, hands down.

Edited by gotbeer 2013-02-01 9:18 AM
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GlenM
Posted 2013-02-01 9:19 AM (#1931909 - in reply to #1931862)
Subject: Re: Player Poetry




Peter Bourjos amazes in centerfield
Astounding catches he would yield
Then along came Mike Trout
Who knocked his ass out
But in 13, Trout's position Bourjos steal'd

Edited by GlenM 2013-02-01 9:20 AM
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HaloMagic
Posted 2013-02-01 9:30 AM (#1931916 - in reply to #1931862)
Subject: Re: Player Poetry



Hall of Fame

Posts: 5418

For the first half Trumbo's bat thundered
Just how good is this player we wondered
Then they threw him the slide
Off the plate, way outside
And with that his BA was plundered
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JimC
Posted 2013-02-01 9:44 AM (#1931924 - in reply to #1931903)
Subject: Re: Player Poetry




Location: Where the Angels play

HaloMagic - 2013-02-01 9:11 AM You'd think that Wells couldn't looked dumber He proved he could near the end of the summer. When he jumped for a ball And fell over the wall. But he got up unharmed. What a bummer.

haha, nice

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Dave Saltzer
Posted 2013-02-01 9:47 AM (#1931925 - in reply to #1931862)
Subject: RE: Player Poetry


All-Star

Posts: 2572

Jessica,

Thank you for a wonderful contribution that added a whole new dimension to what we can do here. Really enjoyed this piece. Totally different, yet totally related.

 

Good job!

 

 

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Chuck Richter
Posted 2013-02-01 10:29 AM (#1931947 - in reply to #1931900)
Subject: Re: Player Poetry



Hall of Famer

Posts: 29182

Location: AngelsWin.com: Where Angels Fans Are @
Adam - 2013-02-01 9:01 AM

We should have a limerick contest


We should! I have an idea...
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GlenM
Posted 2013-02-01 10:34 AM (#1931948 - in reply to #1931862)
Subject: Re: Player Poetry




Halomagic would run away with it. I gotta get some of his meth.
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GlenM
Posted 2013-02-01 10:37 AM (#1931951 - in reply to #1931862)
Subject: Re: Player Poetry




Howie Kendrick was supposed to be great
A fearsome hitting machine at the plate
But his weakness was found
Hitting into double-plays on the ground
I guess greatness will just have to wait
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GlenM
Posted 2013-02-01 10:40 AM (#1931954 - in reply to #1931862)
Subject: Re: Player Poetry




John Lackey was once aces on the mound
The hitters, into dust he would ground
Their bats he would smote
and then dine on some oats
You see, he didn't like to horse around
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NJHalo
Posted 2013-02-01 10:51 AM (#1931962 - in reply to #1931862)
Subject: Re: Player Poetry




August of 2009, Reagins went out and got
Scott Kazmir to fill our #2 starter's spot
He did well the rest of that season
Then crapped out for no reason
I think he just smoked too much pot
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Chuck Richter
Posted 2013-02-01 10:53 AM (#1931963 - in reply to #1931862)
Subject: RE: Player Poetry



Hall of Famer

Posts: 29182

Location: AngelsWin.com: Where Angels Fans Are @
OK guys, the top 5 entries get a one year membership to our AngelsWin.com Premium content once that's ready to go (by opening day) + an AngelsWin.com t-shirt of your choice.

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LAAMike
Posted 2013-02-01 11:25 AM (#1931978 - in reply to #1931963)
Subject: RE: Player Poetry


Arkansas Travelers

Posts: 609

Hamilton

The Rangers have lost
A center fielder most fair
Angels take the West
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Win Halos
Posted 2013-02-01 11:34 AM (#1931987 - in reply to #1931862)
Subject: Re: Player Poetry



Orem Owlz

Posts: 119

Oh great halo in the sky
Please don't make me cry, cause
if the rangers win the west
I'll be fitted for a loony toon vest

Edited by Win Halos 2013-02-01 11:35 AM
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LAAMike
Posted 2013-02-01 11:47 AM (#1931994 - in reply to #1931987)
Subject: Re: Player Poetry


Arkansas Travelers

Posts: 609

What is that, Win Halos. neither a limerick nor a haiku??
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tomsred
Posted 2013-02-01 12:14 PM (#1932015 - in reply to #1931862)
Subject: Re: Player Poetry



All-Star

Posts: 3649

There once was player named Kendrick,
Who held the bat like a drumstick.
Then away it would go,
Just another dribbler to second, like a fungo.
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HaloMagic
Posted 2013-02-01 12:57 PM (#1932064 - in reply to #1931862)
Subject: Re: Player Poetry



Hall of Fame

Posts: 5418

After a game one day
Scioscia found something to his dismay
At the post game spread
A tear he did shed
There was no lasagna at the buffet
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JessGrey
Posted 2013-02-01 1:35 PM (#1932087 - in reply to #1931865)
Subject: Re: Player Poetry




Posts: 2

Thanks everyone! Loving all the limericks ;)

cezero - I think using topics kids are interested in to teach haiku is a great idea. I'd love to see some student poems :D

Edited by JessGrey 2013-02-01 1:36 PM
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tomsred
Posted 2013-02-01 1:54 PM (#1932102 - in reply to #1931862)
Subject: Re: Player Poetry



All-Star

Posts: 3649

There is a board names AngelsWin,
where you can get lots of Angels baseball spin.
But sometimes things get a little dicey,
and the words get a little spicey.
But that's when a nasty guy named Chuck,
steps in and plucks the schmuck.
However in the end all is swell,
as long as the fat Trout stays well.

That is all, carry on.....
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tomsred
Posted 2013-02-01 2:18 PM (#1932116 - in reply to #1931862)
Subject: Re: Player Poetry



All-Star

Posts: 3649

Who started this thread anyway?

There were two little pigs named Jeffey and Nappy,
both were found to be a little crappy.
Jeffey tried and tried to hit,
but just couldn't do it a lick.
Nappy couldn't catch or throw,
and still he wanted more dough.
So off Nappy went to a Texas town,
all in an effort to settle down.
Then the dough was withheld,
and Nappy felt compelled,
to join Lackey,
and get a little wacky.
And little Jeffey is now a fish,
considered by some to be a Florida side dish.
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Chuck Richter
Posted 2013-02-01 9:28 PM (#1932466 - in reply to #1931862)
Subject: RE: Player Poetry



Hall of Famer

Posts: 29182

Location: AngelsWin.com: Where Angels Fans Are @
Good stuff guys. Keep em coming!
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cezero
Posted 2013-02-01 10:28 PM (#1932497 - in reply to #1932087)
Subject: Re: Player Poetry



Arkansas Travelers

Posts: 660

JessGrey - 2013-02-01 1:35 PM

Thanks everyone! Loving all the limericks ;)

cezero - I think using topics kids are interested in to teach haiku is a great idea. I'd love to see some student poems :D


i'll post some snippets. planning on doing this next week sometime. :)

thanks for the idea. great reading your piece.

Edited by cezero 2013-02-01 10:30 PM
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Angels_make_me_drink
Posted 2013-02-02 12:06 AM (#1932514 - in reply to #1931864)
Subject: Re: Player Poetry



Arkansas Travelers

Posts: 639

HaloMagic - 2013-02-01 7:40 AM

Good writing Jessica.

Personally I'd like to see some Angels limericks.

There once was a player named Weaver
Who if you saw you'd think loved the beaver
But he said when he plays
He doesn't mind gays
So I think he might have the queer fever.


I have been on message boards for over 11 years now. This is by far the greatest thing I've ever seen posted. I have a nasty cough going on and I laughed so hard that i can't stop coughing now.
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HaloMagic
Posted 2013-02-02 8:29 AM (#1932545 - in reply to #1931862)
Subject: Re: Player Poetry



Hall of Fame

Posts: 5418

When Trout went back home he quickly got fat
Because he scarfed down 6 burgers whenever he sat
But he's still fast as a flurry
So no reason to worry
Although now when he's hungry he gobbles his bat
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tomsred
Posted 2013-02-02 4:11 PM (#1932768 - in reply to #1931862)
Subject: Re: Player Poetry



All-Star

Posts: 3649

Fernando Rodney was a reliever,
who had a case of bad brain fever.
Couldn't throw strikes,
couldn't throw saves,
until he went to the Tampa Bay Rays.
Now he's all better and great,
because he can find more of home plate.
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